Dec 30

1.30 still wide awake. It’s like my brain got mixed up on time or something. Need to fall asleep soon.

Need to try to start my pt exercises back up gotten slack since painful tooth epidemic.

10.43 Girl’s  Dad called to check on his daughter. Asked permission for her to join my kids to go to mall.

2.00 finally figured how to get info onto tithing envelopes. Print on stickers and apply to envelopes. Kind of tacky but we can use the blank.

3.27 getting very sleepy

Arms feel heavy & tingly. Eyes heavy. Low back throbbing. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some tingling. Need a nap. Feel asleephot a while and no one bothered.

6.05 received phone call that my friend has been told she can go home

Waiting for discharge. They will come by to pick up their daughter on the way home.

Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down. Lft and ankle tightening tourniquit feeling with some tingling.

9.00 cut Joe’s hair, but back throbbing something horrible. Need to rest a while.

9.52 getting very sleep. Hands losing grip causing me to drop things. Body jerking randomly. That’s a new symptom. Hmm?

 

Dec 31

8.00 woke from a horrible nightmare!! I don’t even want to recall it. My spirit just wants to cry. Lord, please cleanse every wicked imagination out of my subconscious and set me free from the nightmares. Psalm 139:23-24

I have bad headache.

8.40 did morning pt exercises then folded one load of clothes. I’m out of breath, tired, and my arm muscles jave fatigued. Ugh!

8.50 why is so hard to get a response from other pastor’s wives when you reach out for advice? I don’t get it. I guess I’ll reach out to others until someone has time to respond.

Head pounding. Toothaches. Short of breath. Low back tingling & achy. Rt hip aches. Lower legs & feet tingly. Body feels kind of clammy like I’m feverish

12.30 Had Jakob take me to drop of laptop. Guy will give call in couple days for prices on what needs to be done to fix it. Praying it won’t cost too much.

1.20 face is starting to feel flushed. Head hurts.

Been printing labels for tithing envelopes. Cannot for life of me figure out how to get envelopes to feed for printing…it just jams. Someone suggested something about downloading certain program but that escapes me as well. However, I’ve figured something outside box to make them usable. Not very pretty but they serve the purpose.

2.30 thought just crossed mind that rx may be causing flushing in face. Sure enough – gabapentin can cause lightheadedness, feeling faint or dizzy, and flushing.

2.50 attempted to wash a few dishes. Lower back intense throbbing, hands ache & throbbing, toes cold, feet tingling, out of breath. Sitting down for a while to rest.

5.00 center of chest really hurting, sinus issues, rt ear hurts,

Joe came home and helped (actually he did all the work I just observed) me use my new ninja air fryer. Little disappointed at first bc it had already been used & returned to store. I told him we can clean it out and use it. If it works, great. If not, we’ll return it. Turns out the wings and fries tasted great. Better yet it uses minimal oil.

Thankful for my Christmas gift. It will make my life much easier.

11.00 watched New York ball drop with Joe then went watched New Orleans drop with kids. (Couldn’t keep eyes on screen too long because the movement and bright lights are bothersome and make my eyes hurt).

I’m exhausted and hurting all over. Brain fogged from over usage today. Prayed for all those with ptsd tonight due to the fireworks. I’ve jumped a few times and we aren’t even doing them this year.

Dec 28

6.30 slept pretty good last night. Feels pretty good. Tooth hurting. Took ibuprofen.

Reading Bible came across the following verses…

Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Reminded me of song I learned when I was younger.

7.00 time to make breakfast. Discovered that I didn’t have chocolate chips so I improvised and used Reese cups. Had Jordon chop them up. Took half pill of Gabapentin bc tooth starting to hurt.

8.50 I’m getting sleepy.

10.00 Praise report: I was able to curl my hair by myself today! Mind you I had to play music to keep my nerves calm and had to rest my arms several times. It took almost an hour to curl my hair. But for the grace of God I am overcoming.

11.00 went to visit church member who is sick. He’s still struggling breathing but seemed better than I expected. Continuing to pray for him. I was able to climb his stairs without falling. PtL!

11.03 Joining others now to knock doors. Joe told me to stay in car. I’m quite wobbly on feet yet from rx.

I’m exhausted. Upper back & shoulders stinging needle pain. Arms tingly. Low back aches. Legs ache.

12.30 feel like I’m going to crash. Need to rest a bit.

1.00 going on a double date with our son and his girlfriend

10.19 going to bed. I’m exhausted and having trouble keeping my eyes open. New rx making me really dizzy & sleepy.

Rt ear aches. Tooth hurting. Eyes heavy. Hands tingly and stinging. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some tingling. Low back aches.

 

Dec 29

7.00 overslept ugh! Good thing I’ve learned to simplify getting ready in mornings.

7.30 realized in middle of dreams last night that I forgot to update the Scripture readings in the bulletin! Maybe I can print changes onto stickers. computer is telling me its about to crash due to hard drive error. Ugh! Joe said not to use computer until we take it shop. All my pictures are on it and I don’t recall if I have them backed up somewhere.

8.30 decided to use white out at church to correct error with Bible Reading Schedule and write in corrections. Getting writer’s cramp just doing white out. Gotta push through. I want them to start year out right.

10.20 feeling weird…when I close my eyes (my eyes feel so heavy) it feels like I’m on a roller coaster going down from high spot and my body lifts off the seat a little. Not a fun feeling.

9.10 realized that in my haste to take my morning meds I accidentally took two 800mg ibuprofen. Ugh! Too late.

11.00a trouble playing music this morning. Trouble focusing and coordination. Schedule changed up messes me all up…don’t do well with that…I have trouble knowing what verse they’re singing to know when to stop or how many times I’ve played it thru. I’m all flustered and want to cry.  Joe expect me to know what point he’s on. He was on point three before I had even turned to passage. I just want to run and hide to cry people aren’t understanding.

A little girl suddenly exclaims “Uh Oh” as tears stream down my face. It makes my heart smile. It makes me think of why I do what I try to do for the Lord. To see her aunt and uncle start coming to church and see them grow in the Lord makes everything worth while.

12.00 Began to have a meltdown so during closing prayer I went to office to cry alone. Joe came after me to check on me. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. He asked do what? I told him what happened. He told me he would take care if it. He said he understood especially since I accidentally overdosed myself I would be extra sensitive and I was due for a meltdown. Take my time. I cried for little while longer. Began praying asking God to help me. Able to dry up my tears, but I cried my mascara away.

2.30 Joe suggested I lay down for an hour and then we could go over to mission house to spruce it up for incoming missionaries.

3.30 Joe tried to wake me but I was so tired I just couldn’t wake myself. Jakob & Brianna graciously offered to help Joe and went and took care of mission house for me.

4.30 finally woke. Feeling groggy and my tooth is hurting.

4.34 received phone call from friend’s daughter asking to spend night with us. I told her sure. We’d love to have her. Wow! I feel honored that they trust us to let her spend night with us.

Once I hung up, I went to tell Joe. We talked. Joe suggested I go pick up drinks & chips for dinner at parents house. Jordon drove. I’m starting to like that he can drive. Gotta slowly brave my nerves to let him drive more.

11.59 upper shoulders and neck ache. Rt hip hurting with pain shooting to upper thigh. Wide awake. Nerves tingling randomly throughout body. Rt hip suddenly feels like its on fire and burning. Hands ache and tingly. Headache.