Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
November 27-28, 2022
Walking through Faith in Hard Times is challenging, especially when facing illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In these journal entries from a few days in November 2022, I share my personal experiences of living out faith in hard times each day, trusting God through physical trials, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
November 27
6:00 rough night. Muscle spasms, severe bone and muscle pain, severe indigestion, Joe stole my pillow, bad dream.
Song: ♫ Middle of My Storm ♫
Scripture: Colossians 3:16; 1 Thessalonians 1-5 . Trouble finishing bulletin. Joe forgot to let me know scripture passage. Have no clue what to have for lunch. I’m ready to go back to our nice quiet routine. I know I’m grumpy. Brain fog having trouble thinking straight or thinking at all for that matter. Cut Joe’s hair this morning. Want him to look good for family photos. Horrible taste in mouth is making me nauceous. Had to check presurgery info sheet to see if I was allowed mints or gum. It’s okay until 24 hours prior. Whew! . In much pain, bones and muscles throbbing. Grumpy and don’t want to be bothered. Choose to sit in back row on piano side in case I need to run to bathroom unexpectedly. People are rubbing me the wrong way. Asking me questions Pastor already gave answer to that I heard with my own ears. Having to put dishes away from last week because no one else did it. Some people surprised to see me in church. My thoughts where else would I be? I better be here today because I won’t be here on Thursday after surgery. May have a two week recovery period depending on how extensive surgery is. Joe informs me that we need to give Jakob and Bri gas money. The amount he tells me is what I have left for Christmas presents and I still need to get a few more presents. I obey, but inwardly cry to the Lord. I had to scrimp and save for that money. I know they really need it though to help them get home. . How do I get the church people out of a slump? I know it’s partially due to my being diagnosed with cancer and partially because entire church has been spiritually attacked or have had physical issues repeatedly this year. Am I contributing to their apathy? Lord, please give wisdom where needed. I think I’m stressed on every side and about due for a meltdown. Lord, hold my hand in the middle of my storm. When I’m sinking down, help me to stand. When the waves are crashing round, may I keep my eyes on You because You’re the only One who can help me get through. . Asked TK to take our photo after church. Guys get irritated because we’d like it to look good and being picky. Joe finally says this is last photo regardless. That upsets me. . Joe asked me on way home what was wrong. Was able to talk it out. Feel a little better. . Joe helped me with lunch. Noticed rash on rt forearm and it was burning. Tried washing it with soap and water to no avail. Ended up using cortisone cream to ease the burning and itching. No nap this afternoon due to Jakob and Bri leaving for KY. Enjoyed their visit. Looking forward to when they move down, but thankful for a reprieve. . Remember that I haven’t called my physical therapist for a while. Decided to send him an email to give an update and explain what’s going on. . 4:00 my hips are throbbing. 4:35 back at church. Decided to take fall decor down and start putting up Christmas decor. I’ve done enough and have to rest. Rest of decor can get put up later. . 9:30 I’m freezing no fever 97.6. feeling like I’m about to crash. Skin all over itches. Exhausted. Going to bed. . Thankful for 1. Having my children home for the holiday. 2. Joe helping out a lot this weekend 3. Quiet and peaceful home .
November 28
5:00 woke couple times in night to use restroom. I drank a lot of water last night trying to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth. Crashed around 9:30pm. I was beyond exhausted. Sinuses congested. Rt eye twitching. Dry mouth. Bad taste, but not as bad as y’day. Whole body stinging and throbbing. Head hurts. Muscles ache deeply. I feel like I was beaten up. Exhausted.
Thinking Moringa Leaf Powder may be beneficial this week, but uncertain if it’s okay prior to surgery.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/herbal-supplements-to-avoid-before-surgery-2709934
https://draxe.com/nutrition/moringa-benefits/
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 16:8; 2 Thessalonians 1-3; Acts 18:19-19
Thought came to mind about putting away donations from y’day. The divided plates were actually an answer to a thought prayer. When looking for take home trays to purchase for our church Thanksgiving Dinner, I told the Lord I wish I could find divided plates that were affordable. I wasn’t specific in my request because I wasn’t sure exactly what I was looking for or if it existed. God provided probably a thousand divided Styrofoam plates except they don’t have lids. This is a hallelujah moment, because the plates donated to church will save money, and can be used for multiple purposes. Thank you, Lord!
https://marnieclark.com/breast-health/8-ways-to-build-a-super-strong-immune-system/
I got up to see Dezirae off and pray with her. Started laundry. Put dishes away. Emptied dishwasher. Refilled water purifier. Put wheelchair in back of van. Straightened living room a little. Now I’m ready for a nap. Whew! Lol.
Researching about safety of taking Moringa Leaf Powder prior to surgery
https://blog.soonya.com/moringa-leaf-powder-health-benefits-usage-and-preparation/
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/health-benefits-of-moringa-powder
http://www.doctoryourself.com/omns/v11n07.shtml .
Jordon calls to check on me. My sweet son. Worked on planning meals for week (didn’t get far). Dinner in crockpot. Created letters for Christmas bulletin board. Found starry night backdrop for bulletin board on sale. It’ll be here Sunday. Washed three loads clothes. 2 folded and mostly put away. Third load still in dryer. Laminated larger letters for bulletin board and cut out. Few phone calls. Vacuumed living room. Accidentally sucked up paper clip. Decided to clean it out. Noticed lots of hair on roller. Decided to use pocket knife to cut it off instead of getting up to get the scissors. Bad move. Ended up accidentally stabbing my left hand. Ouch! It bled a little bit hurt A LOT!!! I screamed owww! Then realized after a minute no one was there to help me. Went to kitchen to clean wound. Blotted with paper towel. Doctored myself up. Thought to myself don’t tell Joe because he’ll tell me not to use a knife again. Next thought was leave it to me to hurt my left hand before surgery. Ugh. Made myself lunch and was sitting down resting. I’m wore out. I’ve done enough for the day.
Mom calls. She’s out running errands. Asks me to check on Dad because he hasn’t called her at all this morning. Told her I would. Use excuse for ice chips as to not upset him. Decided to sit with him for a while. Have a good visit. He tells me that he forgot to put his hearing aids in this morning until after lunch. I text Mom to let her know Dad’s okay and I call her later. Help Dad walk the dog in back yard Once back home, I call Mom to let her know everything is okay. She thanks me.
I’m really constipated. It takes 1/2 cup diluted coffee with D.E. Plus half cup of hot cocoa with coconut oil to help have bowel movement. I need to get back on my supplements as soon as possible.
Dezirae comes home. I help her with English homework and back out the door she goes to piano lesson and babysitting. Joe decided to take me to dinner. First chouse was closed. Decided on McAlister’s. First time there. I inquire about ingredients and explain why I’m so cautious. Riley and Amy go above and beyond to allow me to read ingredients on containers of items they use. Plus, Riley informed me that they had gluten free bread. Dinner is delicious. I’m not too fond of gluten free bread. I surprised myself and was able to eat my whole plate. I’m impressed with their hospitality so much so that Joe asks for the manager to praise them for job well done. Manager thanks us and asks if we would post on their website. I do so while sitting there so I won’t forget.
Jordon calls to let us know that his collegian won their broom hockey game. They advance to finals. Yay! He actually called Joe’s phone but he was sleeping already. He says he will call Dad tomorrow.
I’ve done too much today and am hurting for it. My whole body is throbbing. Arms stinging. Rt arm keep trying to pop out of place. I’m exhausted. Rt eyelid twitching. My arms are throbbing immensely like I worked out too hard. Legs ache. Feet chilly.
Thankful for 1. Surprise date with my man 2. God gave me some money last night to help with needs for cancer 3. God supplied a deep discount for Jordon last night in getting gas for his car 4. God supplied Dezirae with babysitting job 5. My sister finally got a car