Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
December 10-12, 2022
Walking through faith in hard times is challenging, especially while living with a traumatic brain injury, chronic illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In these journal entries from December 10–12, 2022, I share my personal experiences of faith in hard times, trusting God through physical pain, recovery from TBI, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
Two Journeys, One Heart: Health Update
Dec 10
7:00 rough night. Up few times to use restroom. Nightmare.
I wake up to excruciating pain in left shoulder. It feels like it’s out of place again. Taste in mouth is horrible. Gassy stomach. Neck hurts. I feel like I was in battle. Water leaking from my eyes because of the pain. Pain level a 9.
Scripture Reflection: Deuteronomy 18:15; Romans 11-13; Proverbs 15:13 .
Decided to make homemade braided egg bread. It’s been a year since my memories started slowly coming back. Exciting! I have just enough flour to make two loaves. I plan on gifting one loaf to my friends who are part of the memory. Dezirae request I make one for the family to enjoy.
Feeling better today. BP is 10/74 hr 93 . After a long rest, Dezirae and I delivered the bread to our friends. Enjoyed the visit. Didn’t make it to the drive through nativity but that’s okay because we enjoyed our visit. Stopped at grocery store for few items. Able to witness to cashier. When I told her the surgeon couldn’t find cancer, she got so excited for me that she gave me a high five. Invited her to church. She said that we might just see her there because she’s been looking for a church. Divine appointment .
Research:
15 Foods That Will Revitalize Kidneys Functionality Promptly
https://medical-news.org/15-foods-that-will-revitalize-kidneys-functionality-promptly/4305/
Skin on arms and abdomen is very itchy. Cancer network forum people suggest hydrocortisone cream, Benadryl, lotion, and drinking plenty of water. Applied cortisone cream and took 1/2 benadryl before bed.
Dec 11
7:00 woke to arms throbbing. It’s from rolling dough for the bread y’day. It’s bound to happen when your building muscle back. Stomach feels sour. Tired.
Song: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Scripture Reflection: Isaiah 7:14; Romans 14-16; Proverbs 17:22
Decided to try to play piano for church today. Can tell I haven’t played the piano in a couple weeks. Rough going. Need to get back to practicing during the week so I can get better.
Excited to see that some of our people are passing out tracts during the week. I actually need to order more tracts before we run out. Encouraging
1:30 tired. BP 110/78. Yay. I didn’t have to take BP Rx today. I feel like I’m about to crash. Need to go lay down. Low back throbbing. Pelvic region hurts. Using restroom more. Think I might have a bladder infection. Will need to call Dr tomorrow.
Left breast has periodic sharp stabbing pain. Underarm sticky. Cord pulling feeling has eased a little bit still there.
4:00 finally able to finish bulletin board. Labeled 250+ tracts in order to refill tract rack in foyer. Had Jordon carry Christmas tote to fellowship hall so I could decorate a little in fellowship hall. Managed to get a few decorations up. Missing a table centerpiece. Refilled utensils and put out the plates. Think I’ll look for Christmas napkins and dessert plates for next Sunday. Moved food from freezer to fridge for the Men’s mtg on Saturday. Put box of food together for couple families in church.
My arms are aching and I’m hot. Slight headache.
Joe popped something on me from the pulpit and then asked me to remember to remind him so he could remind me. It doesn’t work that way. I struggle to follow along with what stanza were on let alone remembering something unexpected for next month. This will remain to be seen if it transpires. Told him not to talk to me right now. I was trying to prepare for the offertory and he threw me off kilter. Ugh.
I’ve done too much today and I’m feeling it. Whole body hurts. Hands and arms throbbing.
10:30 lower back throbbing. Nose runny and stuffy. Lower abdomen hurting. Whole body aches. Slight headache. Stinging chilly sensation in center of chest. Tired. Sharp stabbing pain in left breast near incision. Applied frankincense oil. Took night vitamins plus tramadol.
Thankful for
- Being able to share food with church family
- Jordon coming home for Christmas break end of week
- Holly starting to feel better
- Loving family
Dec 12
5:00 I’m in much pain. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Definitely overdid it y’day. Praying for my Dad. His health has gone downhill quickly over last couple weeks. Praying that neurologist concurs with PCP about the normal pressure hydrocephalus or finds out what’s causing the problem. Mom’s at her witt’s end. Lord, please intervene and heal my Dad. Dezirae wants him to last long enough to see her graduate.
Song: Goodness of God
Scripture Reflection: Galatians 4:4-5; Romans 21-23; Isaiah 12:2-4
Exhausted and having trouble keeping my eyes open. Sour stomach.
Load clothes in wash. Folded load of towels and put away. Hot.
BP 109/76 hr 81
Stinging pain in arms and hands. Arms ache deeply as if I worked out too hard.
Jordon calls to ask me to pray with him before taking an exam. He wants to do well. Blesses my heart. Refill soap containers. Pick up living room a little. I’m exhausted and going to lie down a little bit.
Woah! I was more tired than I thought. Fell asleep to wholetones music. Slept until almost 10:30. Did exercises. Took vitamins. Made fresh juice. Drank 8 oz with Moringa Leaf powder. Folded two loads clothes. Washed two loads clothes. One load in dryer. Emptied dishwasher. Put away dishes. Refilled water purifier. Straightened up living room from weekend typhoon. Dinner in crockpot (sausage, cabbage, and potatoes).
Remembered that I had Azo cranberry pills to help combat possible UTI. Took two pills.
Enjoyed afternoon visit with my Mom. Sister and daughter joined us. Ended up with impromptu afternoon tea. Dad even came out to join us. As I left, I went to give hugs. Dad gave me a big hug and told me “You know. You’ll always be my baby girl.” I agreed. Told him I loved him and he said it back. Gave Mom and sister a hug too. Shared homemade baked beans with them because I had made too much. Wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them. Now I know – help Mom with dinner.
Had a conversation about housework that stirred up some frustration. While there was some lighthearted teasing, it didn’t sit well with me. Recovery has its limits, and I’m still working within mine. I made it clear that expectations need to match reality in this season of healing.
Learned what I can get Holly for Christmas. Now just to figure something out for Caleb.
Thankful for
- Having a decent day.
- Blood pressure was normal today
- Though started out stiff and sore all over had minimal moderate pain today
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