Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
December 8-9, 2022
Walking through Faith in Hard Times is challenging, especially when facing illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In these journal entries from a few days in December 2022, I share my personal experiences of living out faith in hard times each day, trusting God through physical trials, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
Dec 8
4:30 went to bed around 9:00 last night and slept most of the night. Feel like I’m breaking a fever, but thermometer registers 97.6. Head still hurts, but not as bad as y’day. Feel like I could sleep for days. Stomach hurts. Eyes watery.
Scripture: John 14:6; Romans 1-7; Psalm 118:24
Ask Joe to check my incisions before he went to work. He said they’re looking really good. I’ve been applying frankincense oil around them twice daily.
I’m getting sleepy. Head feels hot but body feels cold. Taking a nap with wholetones music for about an hour until it’s time to get up with Dezirae.
6:30 guess I’m experiencing hot flashes because I feel like my upper body is burning up but thermometer registers otherwise. Guess I’ll research how to balance hormones naturally. Joe maybe right about my going to school to learn homeopathic counseling or something like that so I can turn a passion into a job. I like the sound of that.
Still have headache but it’s not as bad as yday. BP is 142/98 hr 72. Took whole BP Rx. Sipping green tea. Working on getting Christmas cards mailed. Unable to send a lot so have to choose who to send to. Prepared pkgs for Jakob & April too.
Breast Cancer Diet
2:00 working on Bible reading plan for 2023. Sudden chilling sensation in center of back slowly traveling down spine
4:00 left little early for church in order to drop pkgs off at post office. Our mail lady won’t take the pkgs if they don’t fit in mail box even though postage is already paid. Ugh. Put call into Dr office about my blood pressure being elevated.
Dinner was bland, but I’m having trouble adjusting with my taste buds being off. Worked on putting up Christmas bulletin board. It was more of a chore than I expected. I’m hurting all over and exhausted. The border I wanted to use is missing so I had to use something else. Still need more border bcuz the backdrop was smaller than I expected. Time to rest before church.
7:00 starting to get a headache. Lower back and hips are throbbing. Center of chest aches deeply. Back hurts. Arms ache. Incision under arm burns. Exhausted.
9:00 cyst on top of head is hurting. Check it in mirror. It pops a little more so I work with it to get more gunk out. It feels little better. I’ll be glad when I can get it taken care of next month.
10:14 having hard time keeping eyes open. Going to bed. I cannot push myself anymore.
Thankful for 1. Being able to get much accomplished today 2. My husband and family taking care of me over the past years 3. There might be a fix to Dad’s health issue
Symptoms: Mild headache, whole body hurts, arms and hands stinging especially on left side , low back throbbing, legs ache, feet hurt and tingling, center of chest stinging
Dec 9
6:00 slept majority of night. Up a few times to use restroom. Arms ache. Head hurts. Headache. Whole body stiff and achy. Tired. Strange dream.
Scripture: John 15:5; Romans 8 -10; Psalm 119:111
Not feeling well. Whole body stinging. Hot flashes. Head throbbing.
Cancer Protocol
https://marnieclark.com/johanna-budwig-and-her-protocol-for-cancer/
8:20 head pounding and feel horrible. Decide to check blood pressure. BP 125/89 hr 71. At least BP is coming down. Need to take something for my headache.
Decided to make Joe hash browns and bacon for breakfast. Not the best but I wanted to show my appreciation for his hard work.
PCP nurse called. Dr wants me to take BP and migraine prevention Rx, and come in for BP check next week. I asked why about the propranolol because I haven’t taken that in over a year. She couldn’t tell me but would ask Dr.
The question of the Her2+ & Her2- at same time often perplexed me only because I was told that it was rare to have both at same time. Following website explained it for me to understand better. https://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/guide/her2-negative-vs-her2positive
Information is still quite overwhelming to digest and adding to my headache. Need to take a break and rest.
PCP nurse called back later to let me know that the Dr said that even though the one Rx is used as a migraine prevention it’s also a BP Rx. I told nurse that I haven’t taken it in over a year. I’ll start by just taking BP Rx only. She said she’d let the Dr know, but wants me to come in for BP check next week. Bumblehead. Ugh.
Mom came over to check on me and ask for my help with sending info to insurance adjuster about her car. She’s having same issue we had earlier this year about other driver not wanting to accept fault. Glad I can help. She noticed that my hair is starting to grow back. Asked to rub my head. Lol. It feels soft like a baby’s hair growing in. My hair is about 1/4 inch long all over.
Forced myself to make buckeyes as first official Christmas cookie of the season. Got the peanut butter balls mixed up and in fridge chilling. Tried some of the peanut butter mix to test my taste buds. Still tastes chemically to me. Yuck. Need to rest a while.
Joe took me to the store to get pizza for dinner. Ended up getting other food items I knew we needed. Lol. Trip exhausted and wore me out. Laid down on couch after putting most of groceries away. Crashed for about an hour or so. Joe cooked dinner. After dinner, asked Joe to help me shower. It was painful moving my left arm to bathe. Had to get Joe’s help. Have yeast rash in belly button again. Dried it out and applied colloidal silver. Remembered that I needed to finish the buckeyes.
Hot flashes off and on today. They’re something fierce. Longest one lasted a good half hour. Feel yucky most of day. Mostly laid down on the couch. No energy and I wear out easily with effort. Did manage to put dishes away and reload dishwasher. Load of clothes washed and in drier.
Thankful for 1. Ability to rest as needed 2. Jordon home for weekend 3. Dezirae able to go support her teams bball games.
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