Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
December 21-22, 2022
Walking through faith in hard times is challenging, especially while living with a traumatic brain injury, chronic illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In these journal entries from December of 2022, I share my personal experiences of faith in hard times, trusting God through physical pain, recovery from TBI, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
Dec 21
6:30 not sure how long I’ve been awake. I feel hot and clammy, urgency to use restroom, stuffy nose, skin itches, shoulders and arms throbbing, ache all over, headache.
Dr appt – BP 128/77, hr 77, Temp 97.5
https://www.thecandidadiet.com/candida-symptoms/#Restoring_balance_to_your_gut_microbiome
Calendula cream or Boiron Arnicare gel homeopathic therapy to relieve itchy skin
Scripture: Luke 2:6-7; Titus 1-3; 1 Peter 1-5
Skin itchy all over, esophagus hurts, back of throat tender, rash in naval Called Dr office to request help. Nurse will call back.
Dezirae and I treated to get our nails done for Christmas. Lunch at Zaxby’s. Recvd call from C.A.R.E.S. letting me know that Dr Beakley wrote order for therapy for my arm. Insurance won’t cover it so they are applying for financial aid through the Breast Care program at the hospital. Will be sending paperwork for me to fill out and return.
Stop at grocery store for rest of food items for Christmas. Thankful that Dezirae’s helping me shop. I’m wearing out quickly. Feel like I’m going to crash soon.
Once home, started laundry. Laid down in bed and crashed shortly afterwards. Slept for hour or so.
My bones and joints ache fiercely. Left shoulder and upper arm keeps wanting to pop out of place. Skin itches all over (it’s extremely aggravating). Headache. Hands aching. Tired.
Dinner is homemade chili and cornbread muffins. Had Joe tweak it once he got home. Family going Christmas shopping after dinner. Popped in to Chick-Fil-A for peppermint milkshakes. Nice treat and quality family time.
Reading article on tips for coping with cancer induced fatigue. You know you’re an English fanatic when you read an online article and the grammer sound off… “Fatigue is probably the commonest symptom in patients with all myeloproliferative disorders,” said Dr. Jon Lambert from University College Hospital in London. I was reading an article regarding tips for coping with cancer induced fatigue. During a 2015 interview with Patient Power Co-Founder Andrew Schorr. Lol
Told Dezirae I should be a proofreader. Lol
Once home and guys went to bed, I tried to watch a Christmas movie but too tired to finish. Going to bed.
Attempted exercises for range or motion. Left upper arm and shoulder throbbing. Able to do half of them. This cold air causes achy bones and joints. Took pm vitamins plus Diflucan, Rx cream for rash in navel and forearms, tramadol.
Thankful for… 1. God’s mercy and grace 2. Able to purchase needed toiletries and laundry detergent today 3. Steroid cream easing itch on forearms
Dec 22
3:30 woken by extreme pain in both shoulders. Severe itchy forearms. Muscles in left leg twitching periodically.
Song: Mary, Did You Know?
Scripture: Hebrews 1 -6; Luke 2:8-11;
4:40 let Joe know he could turn light on because I was awake. He inquired why. Told him it’s due to severe pain in shoulders. Offered to check if my shoulder was out of place again. In doing so, it popped easily and felt immediately better. What a relief! .
Decided to make braided bread for Mary. She’s been a good friend. Dezirae and I going to hang out at her house today. Yay!
Enjoyed our visit. Did a little counseling. Looking forward to working together after first of year to learn how to eat healthier for our families. Going to teach her how to make bread and can. Had to leave to get ready for carols by candlelight tonight at church.
Forearms are itchy immensely. Applied cream, steroid ointment, washed them thoroughly with cold water, applied cortisone cream to no avail. Ugh! I now have a red spot on rt side of face near nose. Frustrating. Lord, please heal my ailment and my gutt flora.
Dec 23
6:50 crashed quickly once we got home from church. I was utterly exhausted.
Up every three hours using restroom due to trying to drink more water to flush system.
Whole body aches. Headache. Arms and hands throbbing immensely. Wondering why them remembered that I made four small loaves of braided bread y’day. Hot and perspirey as if I broke a fever. My head is pounding. Nose stuffy. Garlic taste stuck in mouth. Need to add more seasoning to make it taste better. Lol JK
Post nasal drip. Itching is easing some. Discovered that cold water helps.
Scripture: Luke 2:11-14 Matthew 1:21-23; Hebrews 7-10
https://naturallivingfamily.com/essential-oils-for-immunity/
It is really hard to stay focused on reading when your cat is in heat and making extremely loud mate callings!
Today has been eventful, and while I’m quite worn out, I enjoyed being present and more coherent about my surroundings. The chemo fog is lifting.
My dad had to have testing done this morning to rule out reasons for his declining health lately. The doctors were able to drain fluid via a spinal tap. He gave them a scare shortly afterwards with his blood pressure skyrocketing, but it came down and they were able to send him home. He seems to be feeling better, but the next few days will tell. I’m praying he continues to improve.
I had an echocardiogram done at a separate hospital. Apparently, it’s normal procedure because they are changing my immune therapy treatment and want to keep a close eye on my heart. I also pre-registered for the cancer surgery next week.
While at the hospital, one of the nurses from MRI DPT saw me, remembered me, and made a point to come say “Hi” and “Merry Christmas.” I guess I must have made a positive impact on her when I saw her earlier this month. It made me feel special.
All the cancer treatment I’ve had so far has done a number on my gut flora. I have a bad case of yeast overgrowth right now. It’s caused sores down my esophagus, difficulty swallowing, severely itchy skin, and a rash on parts of my skin. I’ve tried homeopathic treatment at home, but I had to call the oncologist to request an Rx. I’m slowly improving, but still miserable at times.
Dezirae and I worked together to make candy cane Christmas cookies this afternoon. My arms are sore, but I figured it was good exercise to help rebuild muscle lost between the lightning strike and cancer treatments. I snuck a couple. They actually tasted delicious. There are still some foods that taste horrible and others that leave a bad aftertaste. Praise be to God, my taste buds are slowly returning to normal.
We were able to enjoy a family dinner at my parents’ home. Joe partially smoked a turkey, which was a gift. It was delicious. Some of us played Apples to Apples after dinner. It was a blast. Family times lately seem a bit more precious to me.
Posting pictures from today’s events for memory purposes.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Our plans for life may not always go as expected, but God is always good. His plans are much better than ours, though it may take time to figure them out, and they are always and only for my good and His glory.
Crashed shortly after going to bed.
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