Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
December 26-27, 2022
Walking through faith in hard times is challenging, especially while living with a traumatic brain injury, chronic illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In these journal entries from December of 2022, I share my personal experiences of faith in hard times, trusting God through physical pain, recovery from TBI, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
Journal Entries –
December 26, 2022
6:00 rough night. Woke several times. Both forearms itching severely around 2:00. Wish I could figure what’s causing it. Didn’t want to wake Joe so I just suffered until I fell back to sleep. Used restroom several a few times. Severe headache. Deep breathing exercises for few minutes. Massaged in between ring finger and thumb on both hands. Still have headache. Muscles in legs and but region spasming and twitching periodically and randomly. Sinuses congested. Rt ear hurts. Exhausted. Both upper arms throbbing as if doing intense workout. Vision a bit blurry.
Scripture: Luke 2:28-32; 1 John 1-5; 2 John 1; 3 John 1; Hebrews 12;2-2
7:00 can’t sleep decided to get up and turn heaters on to warm house up. It’s 58° inside. Filled water purifier. Brewed peppermint tea. Posting devotional on blog. Researching for next scripture journaling theme. Get sidetracked.
8:00 I’m exhausted. Think I’ll take a cat nap.
8:45 Joe emerges from the bedroom. Asks if everything’s okay. Explained rough night and decided to get up at 7am.
Refilled water purifier. Put few dishes away. Loaded some dishes in dishwasher. Made fresh juice for Dezirae and I. I’m not feeling well. Nerves stinging. Major headache. Took a Tylenol. Sitting to rest a while.
1:53 received call from Coleson’s home. One of the son’s informed me that Bro Coleson died earlier this morning. He will keep us updated on funeral arrangements. I cried and let Joe know immediately.
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3:00 had to decline going with Mom and kids to the Tracks for a fun outing. Need to rest and get better for surgery.
6:57 currently experiencing being very hot, tingling stinging sensation in arms and hands. Head itches. Face itches. Stomach hurts and upset. Took Dexilant and vitamin C. Swelling has gone down in my arm, so that’s good.
9:00 drank milk with D.E. to help ease stomach bloat and cramping. Stomach hurts worse now.
Hurt all over. Nerves stinging. Slight headache. Allowable vitamins taken plus the Diflucan. Sneezing off and on most of afternoon. Hot flashes. Sinuses slightly congested. Slight bloody nose. Tired. Skin still itches periodically but at least it’s not all the time now.
Thankful for
1. Bro. Coleson knowing the Lord and he’s not suffering anymore
2. They asked Jordon to be a pole bearer
3. Able to take day to rest
December 27, 2022
7:42 rough night. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Feel like I broke a fever, but it’s not registering on thermometer. Forearms itch. Stuffy nose. Shoulders, arms, and collar bone ache deeply and intensely. Woke every few hours. Tired.
Song: I Have Been Blessed
Scripture: Psalm 103:1-2; Revelation 1-5; James 1:2-4
Feeling a little better today. Able to wash two loads clothes. Folded and put away two loads. One load in dryer. Changed sheets on bed. Sorted out items selected for donations. Straightened kitchen. Cleaned toilets.
Took rest break around 11am. Worked on Scripture Journaling Calendar and devotional. Able to settle on a theme for next year.
Holly came over to ask if I had one of our neighbors number because there was water spewing in their back yard. Went to investigate. Called neighbor to let her know. She thanked me.
Dezirae helped LJ out today. Tickled pink because she sent a bunch of hand-me-downs for me to sort through. It was like getting a late Christmas present.
At one point while getting a bag out of the van, I saw my Dad at his mailbox. He mis-stepped and fell to the ground. Thankfully, he didn’t hit his head.
I hollered for Dezirae and went as fast as I could to help. I tried to help him up, but couldn’t. His knee got scraped a little and he couldn’t put pressure on his s left knee. He finally was able to get up on his own.
He confessed that things like that make him feel dumb. I assured him he wasn’t and that it was probably the crystals in his ears being out of place that’s causing part of his balance issues. I was able to encourage him from my experience and suggested he do eye exercises.
I walked with him into the house. Mom didn’t even know he was outside. I had Dad tell Mom what happened. Told her what I told Dad. She mentioned that he has sticky notes on office door but he couldn’t remember how to use them. I asked to see them and was able to shew her how to do the exercises because it was one of the exercises given me to help me with my balance. I then told Dad I showed Mom how to do the exercise so she could show him later. He thanked me.
Prepared dinner – Mexican Beef Casserole.
A little after Dezirae got home, we went to the store to exchange a gift. I tried to get Joe a French press, but accidentally got the wrong thing. After completing that task, we checked out the clearance aisles. Excited to find a few gifts and some items for Dezirae’s table for graduation. A few times during shopping, my arms started feeling weak and throbbing making it difficult to move them or lift simple objects. I mumbled that my arms ached. Rested a moment then was able to continue.
Next stop Target. My back was hurting so much I had difficulty walking. Chose to use wheelchair. Their aisles were very picked over already so not too much to find their.
11:40 Forearms itched like fire for several hours after getting home from store. They still itchy but not as fierce. Cortisone cream is making it worse. Ended up rinsing with cold water and applying colloidal silver all over forearms.
Choked on my saliva while sitting in recliner. Hands and arms stinging, burning, tingling pain. Low back throbbing. Legs ache. Muscles spasming randomly throughout torso and legs. Feet tingling and throbbing. Tummy feels bloated.
The closer I get to surgery day the Morse nervous I get. Not nervous about surgery itself more so the recovery because this surgery is more extensive than last.
Thankful for…
1. God’s promises
2. God’s provisions
3. Able to get more chores done today
4. Feeling a little better
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