Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
January 15-16, 2023
Walking through faith in hard times is challenging, especially while living with a traumatic brain injury, chronic illness, fatigue, and uncertainty.
In these journal entries from January 2023, I share my personal experiences of faith in hard times, trusting God through physical pain, recovery from TBI, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
January 15
7:20 decent sleep. I’m still very tired.
Song: Jesus Never Fails
Elbows itch. Head hurts slightly. Base of neck and shoulders throbbing. Hands ache. Muscles randomly spasming throughout body.
Scripture: John 8:31-32; Genesis 41-42; Psalm 143;
I’m so exhausted. I’m having trouble getting motivated to move. Joe offers me to stay home and rest, but I tell him if rather go to church in morning and rest in the evening if needed.
Taking medicines. Took 15ml colloidal silver first. Starting Nystatin oral rinse for mouth. Minocycline antibiotic to prevent infection in my head. I’m a little leery about taking the antibiotic due to recent allergic reactions. Joe suggests I at least try it.
Rec’d note in mail at church from a friend. It included a love offering. I’m humbled and thankful.
Starting to feel nauseous and like I’m going to vomit. Feeling very weak. Burping and hiccups. Headache. Took Advil for the headache. Ears ringing.
Called pharmacy. It’s an intolerance to the drug. Need to call my doctor.
Tried calling Dr, but I’m having difficulty navigating through the automated system. Feel like I’m going to crash so I hang up and lie down. I’ll try later.
Mom gave me some papaya enzymes to help settle my stomach. Sipping on water. She offers to take me home. I decline giving reason that we had food donated yesterday and it needs to be distributed. I’ll have to ask for help.
Able to eat lunch but need help going to bed. Joe helps me to bed. Everything is fading quickly. Sleep most of afternoon.
Watched evening service on Facebook. Stayed in bed until family came home from evening service. Able to eat leftovers from lunch.
Tummy hurts. Head hurts. Gassy. Left outer arm numb and throbbing. Applied Arnica gel. Took night vitamins, Tylenol and tramadol. Papaya enzymes to help settle stomach.
Proverbs 14
Thankful for
1. Allergy to antibiotic not worse.
2. Loving husband to take care of me
3. Able to sleep a while
4. Ability to watch service on phone
Prayers:
1. I feel better soon
2. Guys will get a deer soon for meat for the house
January 16
7:30 felling a little better than yesterday. Don’t feel like getting up though. Exhausted.
Scripture: Galatians 5:16; Genesis 43-47; Proverbs 15 -16; Joel 2:32
Fell back to sleep until 10:15
Joe came to check in on me again. Suggested I get up and moving to see if that’ll help. Took morning vitamins.
Dad insisted on coming over to visit me again. Mom drove him over this time. Most of the time he wasn’t making sense as his conversation was jumbled with unrelated details. I just let him talk. It breaks Dezirae’s heart that he can’t remember her name and calls her Sweet Tea (that’s his dog’s name). Before he left, he asked to pray and asked God to heal me.
I know it’s frustrating to family how grumpy he is at times and it’s hard to see him decline with his memory plus we’re not certain how much he still knows or doesn’t know. It blesses my heart that he wants to make sure I’m okay and that he prays for me.
It breaks my heart that we don’t know how to help him get better. I want to remember the positives and not dwell on the negative. Lord, please help Mom and the doctors figure out how to help my Dad. Please lay your healing hands on him. Help him remember more things especially the names of his grandchildren. It breaks my kids hearts when he can’t remember their names. Help him not to hurt because he’s forgotten.
It means a lot to me that he’s making the effort to come see me to make sure I’m okay and pray with me. Thank you, Lord.
Take 15ml colloidal silver. Swish with Biotene mouth wash. Took night vitamins plus Zyrtec and 1/2 Benadryl.
I feel like I was hit by a truck.
Thankful for
1. Visit by my parents
2. Joe cooked meals today
3. God gives wings as eagles
Side effects of Kadcyla:
https://www.healthline.com/health/drugs/kadcyla-side-effects#serious-side-effects
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