This cancer treatment journal entry is a reminder that healing is not always a straight line. The side effects of treatment left me exhausted, hurting, itchy, and struggling to accomplish even ordinary daily tasks. Yet, in the middle of the fatigue and frustration, there were also moments of help, laughter, family time, and things to be thankful for.
January 17
7:00 rough night. Having trouble waking. Force myself out of bed to share Scripture and pray with Dezirae before she leaves for school. The lethargy is horrible. There’s so much to do and I feel horrible with no energy. I sure hope it’s not going to be like this for the next 13 treatments.
Scripture: Exodus 3:12; 1John 3:18
Side effects of Kadcyla
https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/drugs/trastuzumab-emtansine
Trouble mustering up the energy to do chores. Set up vitamins for the week. Start laundry. Balanced checkbook. Decided on chicken enchilada casserole. Made pan for us, parents, and Mrs Colson. I’m pooped. Need to rest a while.
I have the smell of burnt popcorn stuck in my nose and taste. Yuck.
Sheets washed and dried. Trying to get them put back on my bed. Having trouble accomplishing task. Contemplating asking Mom for help. Jordon walks in door. He asks if I need anything. I ask him to help me make the bed. Jordon gladly assists me. I’m thankful.
Mom came over to visit plus get reprieve from Dad. Taking care of him has become quite tedious lately. We watched a Hallmark movie together.
Decided to work on my blog a little. Able to get rest of January 2021 done today. Looking back at some of my memoirs helps me see how far I’ve come. I never did get a clear explanation of the neurological exam. TBI coordinators have changed twice now and I haven’t even met the current one. I’m hoping to eventually.
Dinner was a success. I’m wore out, hurting, and exhausted. Congested. My whole body is throbbing.
Decided to watch a movie as a family. Good thing because I don’t have energy for anything else.
Getting ready for bed as I cannot push myself anymore today. A big bug flies at me I holler. Joe comes running. I exclaim, “A locust fly at me”. Joe informs me that it’s a stink bug. Joe is my hero for the night.
Chores done today: wash two loads clothes, change sheets, make dinner, post to blog
It’s frustrating at times that I lack energy to do more and I even feel defeated at times, but I know that my Redeemer liveth and is able to give me strength to endure and overcome. Some days I just need to rest while other days I have a little more energy to do a tad bit more. Chores will always be there, but spending precious time with my family will not. I need to enjoy them as I can.
Thankful for
1. Jordon assisting me with making the bed.
2. New recipe was a success
3. Joe rescued me from a bug.
4. Received a new faucet for our kitchen sink today. Plumber will come to install it by end of week. Yay!
Symptoms: lethargic, started out feeling as if I were run over by a Mac truck (Where did that expression come from anyways? Who’s been ran over by a semi and lived to tell about it?), neuropathy (stinging) pain in arms and hands, ringing in ears has stopped, head hurts, whole body throbbing, feet hurt -dull achy pain with some stinging, periodic chills, arms itching periodically throughout day, white coat on tongue (though not as thick), sores down throat, nasty taste in mouth, nasty smell in nose
January 18
3:00 woken by severe pain in left shoulder and multiple muscle spasms in torso and legs.
400 both forearms start itching immensely. Get up after Joe’s alarm sounds to apply the steroid cream to ease itching.
Scripture: Proverbs 17-18; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 48-50; Exodus I -3; Isaiah 53:10
Itchy skin is driving me crazy. Washed arms with water and cloth. Applied coconut oil with essential oils.
Skin helps
http://www.doctoryourself.com/dermatology.html
http://www.doctoryourself.com/eczema.html
I haven’t eaten yogurt in a few days. I wonder if there’s merit to this? I will try it out.
http://www.doctoryourself.com/psoriasis.html
Tasks: wash laundry, begin preparing for filing taxes
Need to rest a bit before taking Dezirae to dentist and picking up her glasses.
Walking out door for Dezirae’s appt I realized I forgot to eat today.
Starting to feel a bit off balance.
Checking calendar for upcoming appointments. Realized I forgot all about an eye appointment for yesterday. Ugh! Called office to apologize and reschedule for next month. I wasn’t feeling well, but it still makes me feel dumb when I forget things like that.
Pit stop at store to pick up few items. Asked Dezirae to drive home. I’m exhausted and concerned I may doze off. Safety first.
Make a bite to eat once home. Feel crash oncoming soon. Decided to go lay down for a bit even though I know Joe will be calling soon. I get maybe ten minutes rest.
Get up to make dinner. Made mistake. Thought I grabbed an easy stove top dinner but it was an easy oven baked dinner. Didn’t even know they existed. Accidentally toasted the garlic bread a bit too much. Dinner didn’t taste well to me. Jordon agrees.
Eating cup of yogurt before bed. I am not fond of cherries in my yogurt. Also drinking cup of chamomile tea. Hoping it’ll help me get to sleep and stay asleep tonight.
Thankful for
1. Peaceful day to work on tax preparation stuff
2. Dental appointment went quick and Dezirae able to get her glasses today as well
3. Grace when dinner just doesn’t go as good as hoped for
Symptoms
Headache (suture site hurts and itches), restless, insomnia, itchy arms (shoulders to hands), muscles spasming randomly throughout body, shoulders throbbing, stomach pain, nauseous, lethargic, exhausted, chilled easily, irritated, grouchy, feet hurt and tingling, both ears periodically ringing
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Hello world! – Charitymaeprosper