This breast cancer treatment journey was filled with some very full days—birthday preparations, family needs, church responsibilities, difficult symptoms, and important medical appointments. In the middle of it all, I found myself facing another difficult decision about my cancer treatment and whether to proceed with radiation.
There were moments of fear, uncertainty, and feeling overwhelmed, but there were also reminders of God’s protection, answered prayers, family support, and His faithfulness. Sometimes trusting God means moving forward without having every answer, praying for wisdom, and being willing to wait until He gives peace for the next step.
January 19
Slept decent last night. Arms not itching this morning. PTLA! I’m having difficulty waking…hit snooze a few times.
Didn’t have enough balloons to do what I wanted for Dezirae’s birthday so I made her a balloon flower instead.
6:57 Jordon calls in a panic because he’s in extreme pain in rt shoulder. Asked me to take him to the doctors. I agree. He’s on his way home.
Get dressed. Give Dezirae her balloon flower. She’s so excited about today she’s been up since 4:00am. She thinks it’s cute.
Matthew 7:12;
Itchy skin has calmed some. I think the yogurt and chamomile tea helped. I also slept decent last night. Had nightmare (I was on campus at a public college for class. While walking to next class, a strange dark cloud appeared overhead and began growing very large. My spirit recognized it as spiritual warfare though it could be seen physically. As I ran to closest building to duck for cover, I noticed that others began seeing the dark ominous cloud beginning to panic as it transformed into a tornado shape, and I dropped my phone somewhere in the shuffle. The building I ducked into happened to have a sanctuary in the middle and the ominous creature was not able to enter the premises though it picked up large objects and threw them towards my direction. I began praying for protection for myself, family, and friends in the vicinity. Phil and Joe were on the other side of campus. I had no way of contacting them where I was at. Someone else entered the room where I was located. They had a phone. I asked to borrow theirs and was able to contact Joe letting him know that I was okay and to warn him. Somewhere in all of the chaos, it dawned on me that I was only dreaming and began quoting bits of verses I could remember…what time I am afraid I will trust in thee…greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world…get there hence Satan…resist the devil and he will flee from you. My mind was once again at ease and as I calmed everything began disappearing from around me. As I woke to the alarm, I felt as if I had just broke a sweat from working out or running. While I was groggy and still tired, I was at peace.
Man my nightmares would make great stories or biblical illustrations/applications someday.
Dr says Jordon’s muscles in that shoulder are spasming like they’re mad. Put him on electric therapy to calm them so he can get a better look at his shoulder. It’s possible that it’s out of place, but he won’t know until he can get a better look at it.
Dr confirmed that his shoulder was out of place and was able to gently adjust it back into place. He will be sore for several days, but encouraged him to keep it moving.
Tasks: work on items for b day party, begin preparing bulletin for Sunday, prepare flier for spring revival.
Brain starting to hurt. Chilling sensation in center of back. Feet beginning to freeze. I’m beginning to freeze. It’s 71° indoors, but it feels like it’s 30° or below. Need to take a break. Eating x-large salad.
Exodus 4-6
Dezirae taking me on errands to get items for the weekend. Starting to feel like my balance is wavering. Need a nap but won’t be able to. Will need to get dressed and leave for church once we get home.
Dezirae started working on decorating for her party once we got to church. I finished up preparing dinner. Had to sit and rest a while afterwards as my back was throbbing immensely. I’m flat wire out.
Thankful for
1. Our children continue to want to serve the Lord as they grow up
2. Able to spend one on one time with two of my kids today
3. Painful as it is that Jordon’s pain was just a shoulder out of joint and nothing more
4. Joe’s willingness to help take care of me…even with getting showers
5. Itchy arms greatly reduced today
Symptoms: nightmare, night sweats, nose bleeds, headache, exhausted, lethargic, brain fog, balance off a bit – had to brace myself a few times today, deep muscle and bone pain, tired, difficulty verbalizing syntax, stomach pain, legs throbbing, feet hurting, feeling chilled to the bones, irritated easily, memory issues, chest pain
January 20
Not sure how long I’ve been awake. Woke due to left wrist itching and burning. Guess I didn’t eat enough yogurt y’day. Still tired. Head hurts.
Scripture: Exodus 7-9; James 1:2-3;
Dr appointments
BP 132/86 pulse 76; Weight 163 (wearing long jean skirt and sweatshirt).
Don’t really want to see radiologist today, at least Joe’s with me to help ask questions. I was frank with him not having peace about radiation and not completely understanding the process. Also, told him I don’t want to feel like he’s trying to scare me into treatment either. At this point, I don’t have peace about it and my rule of thumb is when in doubt don’t.
Dr Galle was very accommodating in answering questions. He even took the time to show me pictures via internet and show us the treatment room. It helped me understand the process a little better. Still not happy about percentage of possible injury to heart and lungs, but understand it better. Life expectancy increase is only 10%? Re-occurrence possibility 20-30%?
Told Dr that we would pray for a week and call to let him know. Window is 8 weeks post last surgery. If I’m going to go with radiation, I must start by March 1st.
Dr Galle shared pathology report with us. There was “no evidence of malignancy” in the breast. Nine more lymph nodes were removed from the axillary area. Five of the nine showed isolated tumor cells. Dr said it was so minute they couldn’t consider it cancerous.
Appointment with surgeon next.
Thoughts on Radiation
https://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/20090812
https://marnieclark.com/my-thoughts-on-breast-radiation/
Surgeon appointment
Pathology report showed “No evidence of malignancy” in breast. As for the lymph nodes, 9 more were removed. 5 of the 9 axillary lymph nodes had isolated tumor cells. If I understood correctly, those isolated cells can lead to re-occurrence of cancer later. To me, that was a loaded explanation.
BP 124/87 Dr Beakley, the surgeon, was excited to see how well I’m healing from surgery. Glad to hear that I had my first physical therapy assessment and waiting for approval for therapy. I showed her how much my hair has grown so far. She was elated and surprised. Apparently, it’s growing faster than expected.
Received call in between appointments from dermatologist pathology report. The cyst removed was determined to be a Pilar cyst and was benign. Praise the Lord!
Still having issues with itchy, welted skin. Rt arm slowly improving, but left arm seems to be getting worse. Stopped at Health Hut to ask for help. They suggested a Miracle 2 gel, which helps bring the skin from acidic state to alkaline state. It’s a bit pricey, but it’s helping. Thankfully.
Information a bit overwhelming today. Had to take a nap once I got home. Taking it easy tonight as tomorrow is a busy day.
Let my friend MBH know about how today went. Mentioned that I wish I could talk to a support group in person with those who have been through this. She took the initiative to contact one of her friends and set up a coffee date for next week. Hugs.
New Here?
If you’re just joining my journey, you can read how it all began — from the lightning strike to breast cancer and the faith lessons God carried me through along the way.
👉 Start at the beginning here:
Hello world! – Charitymaeprosper