A Journey to Healing – August 5-7, 2021
August 5
600 woke in much pain all over. My arms feel like they’re going to fall off. Strange dream. I’m freezing and muscles are shivering all over. Struggle to get blanket covering me as it hurts so much to move. Tired. Lights bothersome. Arms and hands stinging.
Fell back asleep. Trouble regulating temperature – freezing cold then hot. Muscles feel like they’re wound tight and hurt to stretch out.
Isaiah 36-41
Got days mixed up…thought I was a week behind in getting ready for school. Dezirae assured me that school doesn’t start until week after next.
Dezirae helping me get ready for activity and church. Cookies made. Decorations printed. Listed made. Binder put together.
Dezirae’s tablet came today.
I’m exhausted and need to rest. Feeling shaky again. I’m beginning to hurt bad again. Tired.
Trouble playing piano. My eyes having trouble keeping up with my hands (or visa versa I’m not sure which). Get frustrated shake my hands and quit playing until the chorus. Ugh!
Low back throbbing intensely. Hands throbbing and stinging. Rt hip hurts. Neck rt back aches. Legs ache. Lower lft leg tourniquet tightening feeling to ankle. Foot tingling and numbish. Toes tingly. Eve’s curse made it’s self known today. Tummy cramping. Arms ache.
Learned quickly today that I still am unable to bend over for any length of time without causing much pain in lower back and sharp stabbing pain in chest. Chest center aches. Though I am getting better and feeling better than I had that last month.
Forgot to take morning meds again. Took pm meds plus C, E, Zinc, & Echinacea. Also took pain rx.
August 6
530a broken sleep. Woke myself once gasping from fright but don’t recall why.
Whole body stiff and achy. Vision blurry. Woke to both arms numbish and tingling. Tired.
Isaiah 42-44, Psalm 119:160, 2 Timothy 4:1-4
♫Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing unto Zion. An everlasting joy shall be upon their head.♫
600 sharp pain in center of chest thru to back. I lifted too many things last night. I don’t need this today. Lord, help. Being limited from doing much of anything is frustrated at times. Good thing I’ve taught my kids to think outside the box. It’s my turn again.
1100 attempted a yard sale today but not a single soul showed. Closed up shop an hour early. Loaded up items to take to thrift store. Ate lunch. Mom, girls, and I went to Bellingrath Garden’s. It’s a 65 acre garden established by Walter and Bessie Bellingrath in 1932. Three years later, they decided to open it up to the public.
The grounds are always phenomenal. The blossoms are always breath taking every time we go. It was a hot, beautiful day. Enjoyed the breeze by the river.
It was Tara’s first time. Enjoyed watching her and Dezirae having a blast taking photos.
I was able to walk for a little while behind the wheelchair before having to be pushed.
https://bellingrath.org/gardens-home/whats-in-bloom/
1000 I hurt from head to toe and quite exhausted from the days events. Muscles in chest feel sore and overworked. Legs burning throbbing. Headache. Eve’s curse adding to the daily aches and pains. Can feel muscles spasming randomly thru body. Neck hurts.
August 7
600 woke in much pain from neck to toes. It hurts to move.
Fell back to sleep until something fell and it sounded as if someone was knocking on the door.
720 still hurt all over.
Galatians 6:7-10, Isaiah 45-48
Sit up and instant headache. I am not feeling up to do anything today but I will push myself for the kids.
Visitation was eventful. Joe broke us up into three groups. My groups very first house had a scare. I looked for evidence of dogs but didn’t see any nor any sign posted. It wasn’t until I got onto the porch that two dogs started growling from under the porch. I instantly froze!!!
My partner suggested I stay put. Dezirae was across the street – ran over to get my partners daughter in the car for safety and called Joe for back up. The longer I stood there the more my body began to shake!! For a moment I thought I was going to pass out. I instantly thought prayed God please help. I need to be strong but I’m frozen still in a panic. What time I am afraid I will trust in thee. The dog growled again. I was able to tell my partner to talk in calm voice as it will help keep dog somewhat calm. Joe & Jordon came to our rescue. As soon as Joe & Jordon walked up the biggest dog came out from under the porch. She let Joe pet her then rolled over for him to pet her belly. Really!? Joe talked me down off the porch. I wasn’t too happy with his tough love approach but I was able to get down without falling (no rails on porch. Used cane for support).
Later as if that weren’t enough excitement for the day. I was driving car to pick up everyone. Stopped on side of road. Saw Joe was coming and decided to scoot over to passenger seat expect the car started rolling forward! I forgot to put car in park!!! I moved back over and quickly as I could put car in park. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anything and only damage done was my nerves are shot and my pride was hurt a little. I can’t believe I forgot to put car in park.
Id like to say I was mortified, but I don’t think my emotions or actions properly portrayed that feeling. Joe just said okay get out of my car I’m driving. I’m not against that right now I just want to run away. I replied I was trying to scoot over in first place. I scooted over to passenger seat and replied at least I didn’t hit anything. I wanted to say I’m done for the day but we still have an activity this afternoon so I push through asking the Lord to help. I’ll rest as needed and move on to next project.
Received call from friend. We shared with each other what’s being going on in our lives and shared prayer requests. It’s always good to talk with friends especially ones that are positive.
Can feel myself draining quickly. Joe said he can see it in my eyes. Let ladies know what I needed done and that I needed to lay down few minutes. They said they got it. Closing eyes for few minutes to rest. I’m shaky all over.
I seriously need a couch or something soft to lay on in nursery. The floor hurts especially when I’m hurting as much as I do at the moment. Will take an rx pill to make it through the activity. I hope the kids enjoy themselves.
Leftovers for dinner. I didn’t have anything planned and have no energy to cook anything. Family was okay with that.
Got bulletin done and ready for print. Only thing is printer is acting up. Something wrong with the yellow. It’s printing yellow lines vertical on page. Tried cleaning print heads multiple times to no avail. Watched YouTube videos to try to figure it out. Best guess is I need a print head cleaning kit – which I don’t have at the moment. Figured out I could print in grayscale, blue, or magenta so I switched up color scheme. Not exactly my first option but it gets job done.
I’m exhausted. Hurt from neck to toes.
