Journal Entries 8-9 Oct 2018

October 8

Sundays just wear me out so much. It’s hard to get up Monday mornings and get going let alone staying motivated to keep going. So tired and wore out.

9:37- I purposely didn’t take a nap so I would fall asleep easy bc I have to get up early to take Joe to work in order to get the car tomorrow.  Epic fail!  I’m still wide awake!!! Ugh!  I’m seriously in pain all over!  I only managed to help both Jordon & Dezirae in math today, wash 3 loads of clothes, and cook dinner.  Lord, I need Your healing, guidance, and provision. Food is a need, help provide please.

October 9

Busy day today…

5:15am- took my husband to work so I could have car

6am- youngest child started working on school work

7:30am- woke middle child up to start school work.

8:15am- I actually tried walking a little in our neighborhood. Able to walk up and down most of our street (about 1/10th of a mile) before I started hurting too much.

9am- couldn’t go no more…crashed & took cat nap

10:00- food pantry to get some groceries

10:20- put food away. Helped middle child with math (attempted too. I’ve forgotten how to do Geometry.  Thankfully, he’s been smart enough to figure it out by my just reading it back to him. I want to re-learn…only thing I’ve managed to remember is how to work the algebraic equations once they’re  in place)

11:00- went to TBI mtg. Residule effects of TBIare similar to those of a stroke victim. Can look for stretching exercises for stroke victims that might help. TBI group will be able to get help with Dr appts. Thank you, Lord.

1:20- went to pick husband up from work. Husband drove home. Traffic too congested for me to  handle.

3:40- taking daughter to her last volleyball game. Tournament on Friday. Able to stay for JV game and one match of varsity game. Hurting too much and muscles starting to cramp in legs. Had to go home.

3:54p – Today my son was assisting me by offering me his arm to help me walk. He was walking a little too fast for my speed so I was trying to politely tell him to slow down by reminding him that I was a turtle not a hare. It didn’t come out that way. Instead I said, You’re going a little too fast. Remember I’m a tortoise not a turtle.” 

He chuckled and replied while patting me on the arm, “It’s okay, Mom, I knew what you meant.”

I replied, “Oh, what did I say?” He repeated what I said. I also chuckled and said what I meant to say. 

Later I looked up difference between a turtle and a tortoise. Turns out that on land a tortoise is faster than a turtle. Haha!

6:45pm- Joe graciously made dinner so I could rest. Food is almost always delicious when it’s made with love!

9:00p- I went too bed. 

Journal Entries 5-6 Oct 2018

Oct 5

6:50a- woke at 3am left arm and elbow throbbing, heart felt like it was racing, had trouble falling back to sleep

7:30a- I hurt all over. Feet ache. Calves ache. Hands swollen and achy. Rt elbow hurts. Stomach hurts. Eyes feel crusty and heavy. Neck hurts. Head hurts. Tired.

11:26p – been on go most of day. Kids been big helps. Dezirae’s team lost, but fought hard. Jordon made dinner. 

As I’m relaxing I’m feeling the day hit me hard. I hurt as though I was in a bad fight! Made brownies for tomorrow. Beef in crockpot browning overnight for sloppy joes. Pain is keeping me awake. Husband so tired he’s sawing logs right now. 

Oct 6

A peek in the window of a lightning survivor….

I have memory loss and have forgotten how to do many things. Knowing that I should know how and forgot is frustrating at times. And there’s no rhyme or reason as to things I can and cannot remember. 

For example… I planned a simple dinner meal for tonight – Chicken Veggie Stir Fried Rice. I’ve made it more than a dozen times, yet I simply have forgotten how to do it. Thankfully, there’s the internet & Pintrest that I can quickly look it up. 

Then there’s the issue that my upper body strength and stamina have dimishished so much that I have to ask for help stirring after a while because my arms wear out and I start hurting more than I can bear. Or I get side tracked easily and end of forgetting to add certain ingredients or mixing up the directions.

I’m not complaining in the least. Life has been much harder since the anomoly.  I am thankful for God’s faithfulness and that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

I just figure since my type of injury isn’t studied enough because doctors don’t think it happens enough that maybe allowing others to take a peek at some of my struggles may helps others know how to be more supportive with those who struggle with the same type of injuries as I do. 

The Anvil of God’s Word

“Last eve I paused beside the blacksmith’s door,

And heard the anvil ring the vesper chime;

Then looking in, I saw upon the floor,

Old hammers, worn with beating years of time.

“‘How many anvils have you had,’ said I,

‘To wear and batter all these hammers so?’

‘Just one,’ said he, and then with twinkling eye,

‘The anvil wears the hammers out, you know.’

“And so, I thought, the Anvil of God’s Word

For ages skeptic blows have beat upon;

Yet, though the noise of falling blows was heard,

The Anvil is unharmed, the hammers gone.”

– Author Unknown

But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you. 1 Peter 1:25

Something Beautiful

Vermeer-Girl with the Pearl Earring (Pixabay)

But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Isaiah 64:8

🎶“I will serve Thee because I love Thee

You have given life to me.

I was nothing before You found me,

You have given life to me.

Chorus:

Heartaches, broken pieces,

Ruined lives are why You died on Calvary.

Your touch was what I longed for,

You have given life to me.”🎶

It’s amazing to think that God has the power to put back together the broken pieces of our lives. We are the clay and He is the Potter. Clay when placed in the Potter’s hand can be formed into something wonderful and new.

Our heartaches don’t have to mean the end of hope. We just need to place our trust in Him and allow Him to work in and through our lives. He will take our broken pieces and form them into something beautiful in His time.

Written: 4 October 2018

Journal Entries 2018, October 2-4

Oct 2

I enjoyed ladies conference last weekend, but it was too too much for me. I’ve been in so much pain since and so tired. Tried to pick up refill of pain med only to find out it has been taken off the $4 list at Wal-Mart. I couldn’t afford it now I’m scramblin to figure out what to do.

Family has been trying to be understanding, but I feel they’re getting tired of it all. If only I could get someone to explain to all of us so we can understand it better. 

Lord, we’re struggling and I’m not even able to afford my meds anymore. Please I need you to supply our needs. What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.

My brain hurts, sinuses are horrible, neck hurts, low back hurts, both hands and wrists swollen and throbbing, rt hip hurts, left eye feels droopy, nose hurts, feet & legs ache, tired but cant sleep…

Oct 3

Don’t know what I’ve done, but I’m in so much pain!!! Both calves are cramping and spazzing. Feet hurt. Hand and arms swollen and aching. Entire back throbbing. Headache. I’ve taken pain rx & it hasn’t touched it. Indigestion. Neck throbbing. Exhausted but still awake.

Waiting to see how He alone is going to turn this present trial into a blesing!

Oct 4

8:19a-I still hurt all over! Left elbow throbbing. Legs and feet hurt. Hands and forearms swollen and achy. Back hurts.

12:00pm- left hand and arm shaking horribly and uncontrollably

7:31a-Calves are throbbing, brain foggy, hands swollen, vision foggy, neck hurts, ears ringing

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