April 14
5:50 Rough night. Bad dream I don’t want to remember. Woke multiple times. Once to hear the electricity go off and come back on. Body feels like it was jolting at each sound of thunder though I don’t recall hearing it. Woke to both hands and arms tingling and numbish. Whole body stinging and throbbing and it feels like I was badly beaten. Sinuses congested.
Song on mind: ♫God settled it all♫
I don’t want to get up.
Psalm 61:1-4; 1 Corinthians 15:1, 3-4; 1Samuel 21-24
Cat in heat and the vocalizing is irritating me. Play wholetones music. Hopefully, it’ll help both of us.
I’m losing my freezer!!! I’ve had to throw a lot out and I’ve moved what meat I could to fridge freezer. I don’t know what to do. I don’t need this right now.
Move what I can to fridge freezer. Ask Mom to borrow space in her freezer. Guess I’m making more bone broth. Leftover stew in crockpot for dinner. Church friend can’t come today to check it out and suggested I move some to freezers at church. Gathering and cleaning coolers to transport food. I’m exhausted, in much pain, and out of breath. Need to catch my breath.
Freezer items that couldn’t fit in our or Mom’s freezer I packed up in coolers and took to church. Back home and need to rest.
Decided to work some more on preparing info to make things easier for Joe in case there’s a time I’m too sick to get out of bed. Realized that I hadn’t heard results from my pap smear. Had to leave a message.
While getting ready for church received call from Drs office. It was the wise woman program calling to check on me. I told her I was drinking more water and exercising a little. She invited me to their support group on Monday. Told her I’d write it down but not sure if I’d be up to it. Explained I was told I have cancer and my appointment is tomorrow to see what kind and stage. She apologized. Admitted that the closer the appointment gets the more nervous I get (I’ve always been that way). She assured that was normal.
The female Drs nurse tried to call while I was on phone. Took me a bit but was finally able to talk with a person. My pap was normal. I immediately told God thank you. The nurse made sure that the hospital has all the info they need for tomorrows appointment. She told me that as soon as they got the mammogram report they were following it closely. Once I hung up, I went to bathroom to finish getting ready and broke down crying. Tried to tell myself that I needed to be strong, but I ended up telling God I’m having trouble holding it together. I’m melting. Sat down on bed a balled like a baby. Kids came in around me and asked what was wrong. Told them the stress of everything today was just too much and I could hold it together any longer. They rallied around me, gave hugs, and told me everything was going to be okay.
9:50 I’m exhausted. Tomorrow is the day I get my full results. I’m nervous, but I know in my soul that God has me in the palm of His hand.
Drank juice. Night vitamins taken.
Nerves stinging throughout. Tourniquet tightening feeling around mid calf to feet.
April 15
6.00 woke to great pain. Left arm and hand numb and tingling. Muscles stiff and throbbing immensely. Nerves stinging.
Song playing in head but I can’t make out the words. I know I’ve heard it recently.
Psalm 7:1a O LORD my God, in thee do I put my trust:
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalms 31:1 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.
Psalms 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
Psalms 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalms 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Song switches to ♫You know better than I♫
Psalm 7, 27, 31, 34, 52; 103:1; Deut 6:4-5; Matthew 22:37-39; Romans 13:6-7
Psalms 52:8 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God: I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever.
Sinuses acting up. Skin sensitive – loose hair on neck feels like ants crawling with razor feet. Skin itchy.
Morning meds and vitamins taken. Frankincense oil applied to tumor area. I’ve been applying it at least twice daily I just forget to mention it.
Put away dehydrated peppers, add purified water to bone broth, transferred purified water to jugs.
Checked in at 2:22p. It took me until 3:17 to fill out the paperwork. I got through half of it and realized I wrote the wrong date. Ahh! Had to go back and fix it. The history part stumped me because I don’t think of those things. Had to ask lots of questions to make sure I filled it out correctly. I have a headache and am already tired.
Decides to pick up one of the pamphlets to read while waiting. There’s a lot of words I don’t know the meaning of. I guess I have some homework.
3:38 Bp 116/78; temp 97. I didn’t see my heart rate.
There was a lot of information given to us today. I have much to digest.
To summarize: I’m currently at stage 2. The lymph node is diagnosed as Metastatic Carcinoma and the breast is diagnosed as Invasive Lobular Carcinoma. I will have to undergo a bunch of testing to determine if cancer is anywhere else in my body. If it is found elsewhere, then it’ll be upgraded to stage 4. Once testing is complete and results are in, I’ll meet with the Oncologist and the Breast surgeon for final treatment plan.
Current initial treatment plan is chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and immune therapy. Depending on results of further testing that plan can change.
Your continued prayers are appreciated.
She is okay and actually glad that I am already trying to fight it naturally.
Good news though. When I went for my obgyn appt, the Dr measured the mass at 10cm. I immediately began the supplements, jucing, and applying frankincense oil. When I went for the mammogram and ultrasound, the Dr measured the mass at 5cm. When I went for biopsy, the pathologist measured the mass at 3cm. It is shrinking!!!! Praise God!!!
Mom made dinner for us. My friend Mary Beth brought by flowers and some food. Multiple people have already checked in on me to see how the visit went Our neighbors called to check on me and told me that their whole church is praying for me.
I decided I wanted us to go eat dinner and then go Easter shopping. Took longer than expected. I’m wore out.
Jakob is having a hard time with all of this. Jordon is concerned, but I can’t read him. He’s not saying much, but he’s giving me lots of hugs. Dezirae says that my positivity in the midst of it all is helping her to take it better.
Joe & I were pleased with the doctor today. She was pleasant, cordial, and well mannered. She was excited about my thoroughness of bringing my list of medicines and supplements plus the medical documents for lightning strike survivors. She was intrigued and said she will definitely read what I brought. In the paperwork, I made sure to reference this support group as well as the website.
She’s all for my using natural things to fight the cancer along with their recommended treatment, and glad that I had already started. I brought a list of 34+ questions and she took the time to answer all of them! At the moment, I think the hardest part of the journey is the possibility of losing my hair.
Thankful for:
- Good visit with surgeon today
- God’s amazing grace
- The mass is shrinking
April 16
6:40 fell asleep after 2 something. I’m in a lot of pain. Need more sleep.
Romans 13:8; Psalm 53, 120, 140-142; 1 John 4:8
Morning meds and vitamins taken.
Washed few dishes. Lord, I really need a dishwasher.
I can tell when I don’t juice because I don’t have as much energy. Feeling kind of lethargic today and there’s much to be done to get ready for tomorrow.
Joe decided to make today a work day and have everyone help get things ready for services tomorrow. Everyone willing jumped in to help. Thank you, Lord.
God provided in a huge way. Someone gave us some money to help with needs. It’s enough that I can get a dishwasher. Thank you, Lord.
3:10 I have to go crash for a bit. Can’t keep eyes open. Afternoon vitamins taken.
When I woke from nap, my whole body throbbing deeply to the bones. Muscles stiff. Had no clue severe thunderstorm heading our way. Change in barometric pressure increases pain.
http://www.doctoryourself.com/cancer.html
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer-diagnosis/art-20044544
Drank Juice. Vitamins taken.
I’m not fond of the dress I’ll be wearing tomorrow, but at least my family is taken care of.
Able to wash a few dishes, heat up dinner, make rolls, make Hawaiian salad, print bulletins, find crockpot recipe for corn casserole, paint nails, cut Joe’s hair, spill nail polish on the floor, mess up nail polish on two fingers cleaning it up, redo the two nail, etc.
I’m hurting immensely all over. Tired.
Thankful for…
- Lord providing for our needs
- Help getting fellowship hall ready for tomorrow
- Able to pay our mortgage today
