May 1
5:00 woke to much pain. Nerves stinging and burning throughout body. Muscles stiff and throbbing. Exhausted.
Song: there’s a tune playing in my mind but I don’t know the song that well. Only words I can see out are “he bore the cross so that I can go free”. I think the Clark family sings it but I can’t remember the name.
Hebrews 11:6,
I try looking up the song, but find the following… Middle of my Storm by the Clark Family
https://youtu.be/5ezwtSIC0MY
It makes me cry, but I chose to sing it to the Lord as a pray for God’s help.
2 Samuel 5; 1 Chronicles 11-12; Hebrews 11:8-10;
Read an encouraging email from the cancerbombblog about keeping moving forward and trusting in God to help you through. I sent a response.
5:45a Joe comes back to bed after studying for his sermon today. He begins to rub my back and legs. It’s the oddest thing to me. Though my whole body is stinging and throbbing in torment wherever his warm hand rest for a while the pain subsides momentarily while everywhere else still hurts.
Thought: how long does it take to get the body into alkaline state?
https://liveenergized.com/alkaline-diet-questions/how-long-to-get-alkaline/
https://liveenergized.com/
https://liveenergized.com/category/alkaline-recipes/
https://liveenergized.com/alkaline-foods-2/how-to-strengthen-your-immune-system-replay-of-live-session/
8:45 in route to church, song upon waking pops in my mind again. I still can only remember the one phrase. I ask Rae who sings it. The Clark Family. Song name: “The Least I can do”.
1:00 I’m exhausted and hurting quite a bit. I’m enjoying using the freezer meals for Sunday lunch. It helps things be so much less stressful.
Muscles twitching in my left side making me think my heart was beating fast at first. I got up from laying down only for the twitching to ease.
Playing wholetones music while I rest. Well, kind of. I’m laying down, but my mind is trying to figure out my next scripture journal calendar. I jot things down so I don’t forget.
This pops up in my news feed. You cannot convince me that big tech isn’t watching or listening in you conversations or what you search online. That’s a whole other rabbit trail ….
https://hospiceofqueenannes.com/cytologist/frequent-question-can-cancer-patient-eat-cheese.html
Enjoyed getting lots of hugs today from the teen girls at church. Told them I’m going to need all I can get in the months ahead.
1000 I’ve a headache and I’m exhausted. Night vitamins taken.
I’ll have to make a checklist in morning of things I need to get done this week. So many activities coming up and I want to get them done to best of my ability as I am able.
Pain level was a 5/6 most of day which is decent. Felt lethargic most of day. I’m still quite drained from all the testing on Friday. Nerves and muscles throbbing. Neck hurts. Back of lft heel hurts when I put pressure on it. Body aches. Lft ribs hurt a little.
Lord, please help our tax return to get processed completely this week. Also, we need finances for groceries, the guys shoes for the wedding, graduation gifts, bills paid, dishwasher, and a freezer. Thank you for the provision of veggies, fruits, and vitamins. Please lay your healing hand on Joe, Jordon, and Dezirae as we as all those who are sick. Please help me through this cancer journey and heal me of it on this side of heaven. Please give me the strength to be there for Jakob’s graduation and wedding. It’s important to me that I be there for him. Thank you for the strength You will provide in the journey.
May 2
3:00a woken by Joe having a coughing fit. After about half hour I remembered that Vick’s applied to feet will help relieve coughing. He applied and within minutes his coughing eased.
I have bad headache and am having trouble falling back to sleep. Decided to pray.
Psalm 62:5-8; Psalm 133, 106-107; 1 John 5:14-15
Rejoice Radio playing. Folded 2 loads clothes, hung clothes, load of clothes in wash, put clothes away. I’m exhausted. Laying down for 15-20 minutes.
Few phone calls. Meeting with Lady at Health Food Store. She gave info for me to research. I took notes. I explained what natural things I’m already doing. She asked about any trauma that I had trouble with up to six months prior to diagnosis. I told her and assured her that I knew that treatment includes physical, emotional, and spiritual. She was glad to hear it. Also told her I was a Pastor’s daughter and a Pastor’s wife so I know how important it is to have personal relationship with God. She agreed She is very encouraged by the shrinking of the tumor from 10cm to 5cm already. Asked if I’ve decided what treatment plan I’m going to go with. Told her I’m still praying, waiting for 2nd opinion, and what they find from tests. She told me whatever God gives me word to do do it no matter what anyone else says – that’s first. She said that it sounds like I’m on right track and to keep up the good work. She asked me to keep her updated. Told her I would.
Home for short break and eat lunch. Drink chia seed, D.E. chocolate smoothie. Take afternoon vitamins.
Rae requested to get her nails done for the banquet tomorrow. I know it means a lot to her so I agreed. Picking her up early from school.
I’m exhausted and really need a nap. God please give me strength.
Have not had chance to work on my blog today. Need to finish scripture journal calendar to get posted. I have devotional almost complete.
https://www.immunitytherapycenter.com/blog/benefits-of-b17/
https://www.webmd.com/
http://www.doctoryourself.com/cancer.html
I’m hot and feel like I’ve been in a sauna. Stressful day. My washer quit working today. I’m ready to go to bed and start a new day. When I’m this tired I get cranky.
Guys agreed to pick up dishwasher. I had money set aside for one. One popped up in my news feed earlier this morning. Joe said I could get it.
Forgot to tell Joe I was treating Rae to get her nails done. He got a little irritated bcuz we’ve been extra tight financially. I wasn’t thinking straight. We had hour discussion him trying to get me to understand his reasoning. I finally got it and apologized.
Studying with Rae for literature test tomorrow. Tara surprised me with a pretty orchid. They asked what my favorite color orchid was. I didn’t know I liked orchids. Told them I like most flowers except the only yellow flower I like is the sunflower. I don’t like color yellow.
I’m exhausted, tired, and hurt all over. Nerves stinging. Muscles stiff and achy. Lots of info swirling in brain. Lord, I need wisdom to make sense of it all. Night vitamins taken.
Thankful for…
1. Dishwasher. Now need to get it installed.
2. Our tax refund has been approved and is supposed to be deposited by Friday.
3. Good mtg with Lady at Health Food Store.
May 3
445a woken by a nightmare – My nerves and muscles are all twitching rapidly and I’m shaken and frightened.
Joe asked me why I was awake. I tell him. He replies, “Oh my! Are are you okay? I tell him, “No.” He says, “I imagine that all your muscles and nerves are twitching.” I agreed they were.
He sits on bed and makes sure I’m okay. We pray together and I end up breaking down crying. It’s hard enough to work to overcome the cancer now I have added stress of bills coming in even though I have insurance. Lord please help smooth things out and heal me completely.
Oh, Lord, please work in all the doctors hearts that I’m going to encounter and work with to overcome this cancer that they will be on board with whatever peace about treatment You give me.
Ezra 1:1-2; Romans 12:12; 2 Samuel 5:11-6:23
Sharp pain in rt side of chest. Sinuses congested. Sneezing. Nerves starting to sting.
1 Chronicles 13-16
Song: ♫A Breeze from another country♫
545 I receive message from a friend (she was Jakob’s K5 teacher) sharing information to help with fight against cancer. She has cancer as well.
https://marnieclark.com/epigenetic-factors-to-reduce-breast-cancer-risk-part-3/
She is currently at “no evidence of disease” after a double mastectomy, six months of chemo, and a year of monoclonal antibodies. I was able to talk with her a little bit and ask questions.
I drop my sword and cry for just a while.
Make bed. Take morning meds and vitamins.
Study with Rae for literature test. Drink juice. Play wholetones music. I’m exhausted and feel like going to bed. I don’t feel like facing all the extra stress today.
Juice: carrot juice
Spend time trying to figure out the pathology bill I wasn’t supposed to get. Called Dr Beakley’s office for help. Bring bill on Friday with me and they’ll take care of it for me.
Took couple hours to balance checkbook. Couldn’t figure out the error at first. Had to use excel to help me.
Run errands. Pay bills. Time for break. Lunchtime juice. Lunch: grilled chicken breast with Mac n cheese
I’m dragging and lacking energy. Kept dozing in and out while sitting in recliner.
Went for walk after dinner. Walked .49 miles in 23 minutes. Took 1435 steps. My chest is hurting and body aching intensely. Need to rest a while.
Decided to work more on my scripture journaling calendar. I’m really struggling with this one. Have a couple more to work on. Hopefully, I’ll finish it up tomorrow.
11:00 picking Rae and Tara up from the school. Holly went with me.
I’m cramping something fierce in my right side abdomen and front of abdomen. My ribs hurt too. Nerves stinging and muscles ache deeply. Low back throbbing. I’m exhausted. Night vitamins taken.
