May 30
12:34 just getting to bed. Decided to can more veggies on e we got home from church. Wasn’t thinking how long it would take us I said I would transfer clothes to dry. Trying to find photo of Joe’s Mom on my discs, but haven’t yet. Need to get one printed for the wedding. Weddings stress me out.
I’m exhausted and in much pain. Lost a canning jar in the pressure cooker. Whole bottom popped off. Ugh. I guess it happens, but it’s frustrating. Cold pack method works much better for me.
Thankful for…
1. Services went well today.
2. I was able to sing today.
3. Able to help church families with food again.
4. Loving husband who is sensitive to my needs
5. God is willing to fill my cup whenever I am thirsty.
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5:45 why do I have to wake so early? I’m exhausted and in great pain.
Psalm. 56:4; Psalm 119:89-176; Romans 15:13; Philippians 4:13
Song on mind: ♫I Choose to Be a Christian♫
Fell asleep for couple hours. Need to get up and moving so some of my pain will ease up. Lots to do in preparation for trip.
8:45 need to get up and get things done. Joe points out that I’m being grouchy. He points out that last few days I’ve been grouchy in the morning, but by afternoon I’m okay. So much going on and I’m having trouble processing it all. It takes me a bit to think about it and process what he’s saying, but I realize he’s telling the truth. I apologize to family for being grouchy. I admit that most mornings I’m in a lot of pain even with all the extra vitamins. It takes a good hour or so for the moringa leaf powder that I add to juice to start kick in before I get more energy to move more. It’s not till the afternoon that I feel half way decent.
1:00 get together at Dad & Mom’s. Joe grilled the chicken. Mom cooked the shrimp, and gumbo. Food was good. Fellowship good too.
Joe shares about a message that Bro David Gibbs preaches regarding listening to his voice. He finds the video for us to listen to. I have a hard time choking back the tears. I just want to ball. I am the one in the middle of the storm and there are so many voices trying to be boss of the direction of the cancer treatment. I need to hear His voice alone! God I need to hear Your voice alone. Please guide me and give me strength for the journey. Help me to follow Your voice. Help me be a light in the darkness to those who have no hope. Help me to be a living sacrifice that I may prove what is Your will.
3:35 I’m having hard time keeping my eyes open and I’m hurting something fierce. Dad asks if an ibuprofen would help. I tell him no. Joe asks if I need to go crash. I tell him yes.
We excuse ourselves. Marlene gives me big hug and prays over me. I hug back and tell her thank you.
Laying down and listening to wholetones music while resting. Crash is coming quickly. Feet freezing.
Slept for couple hours. I could have slept longer, but I know I have stuff to do to get ready for the wedding.
Finished canning the squash. Joe helped me cut them up. Washed couple loads of clothes. Made sure I have paperwork for Rae’s driving test. I’m so nervous. Joe usually takes the kids, but she wants her official license before our trip. Lord, please give her an easy going instructor that has compassion on nervous drivers. I’m sure she’ll do just fine. This momma is having trouble with her kids growing up.
Able to get picture printed of Gram for Jakob’s wedding.
Had trouble trying to place online order for the catering. Got final count for rehearsal dinner. I’ll have to make phone call in the morning.
Still need to finish hemming Jordon’s suit pants and get wedding gift framed. Just as I was going to bed, Rae reminded me that I need to soak off my gel nail polish for tomorrow. We have to get our nails done for the wedding. I was thinking about getting my toes done too but I’m second guessing that now. May just pick up silver glitter polish and do them myself. Took me over an hour, but it’s done.
Night vitamins taken. Thirsty. Sinuses congested. Slight headache. Nerves stinging. Whole body throbbing in pain.
Thankful for…
1. Joe willing to set me straight on my grumpiness
2. Joe willing to help me with picking up the photo and cutting veggies
3. Able to have cookout with relatives
4. Able to talk with my sister for a bit
5. My children including our two in heaven
May 31
3:30 woke needing to use restroom. I’m in so much pain. Joe rubbing my back. I must have been moaning.
6:30 woke to alarm. Rough night. I hurt immensely from head to toes. Trouble with body temperature – almost like I was fighting a fever. I’d get super hot and then freezing cold.
Song of Solomon 1-8;
Dezirae takes her road test this morning. I’m a nervous wreck. Started off asking her to apply the emergency brake. I had to tell Dezirae where it was. Oh, my. Road test took about 10 minutes. She passed. Gal inside said I didn’t have to pay today because when you pay for permit it’s good for 4 years. Yah!
Getting nails done for the wedding. Talked myself into only getting nails done. Will buy silver glitter polish at store to save money. Dezirae getting white glitter polish.
Random hiccups while waiting for Rae to get done.
Still need to get Joe & Jordon a white dress shirt, cut Joe’s hair, hem Jordon’s pants, order catering (I tried to do it online last night but it wouldn’t let me), get wedding present framed and wrapped, and pack.
145 finally home to rest and eat lunch.
While hemming Jordon’s suit pants, my legs and left hand go numb. I keep pressing on. Hemming took 90 minutes or so. Hand cramping.
Celebration dinner at Chick-fil-A. Back to Ross’ to get the other dress shirt for Jordon.
Once home, we were all supposed to finish packing, but I remembered I had two bills to pay for month. Except I got sidetracked and decided to try to balance checkbook. Only trouble was I was waaaayyyyy off (like few hundred dollars off). That irks me to no end. It has to balance out. After an hour or so, decided to take break to cut Joe’s hair. Ended up cutting Jordon’s too. Looks good if I say so myself.
Neighbors stopped by to check on me and let us know they were praying. I need to visit them more. I decided to give them two zucchini and two tomatoes. They were excited for the fresh veggies.
Back to balancing checkbook. Still can’t find it. I ask God to help. Try different approach and found all but $52. Ugh. I loathe being off even by a penny, but I’m so stressed my brain can’t think or see straight.
10:30 Joe convinces me to wrap it up and bring it with me to figure out in car tomorrow on trip. We’ll be in car for 6+ hours. I agree. I still need to finish packing.
11:00 work on finishing up packing. Put things away in their proper place. Decided on extra bag for toiletries. I think I pretty much done.
Got a lot done today. No nap and I can feel it. Brain hurts and feels foggy. Headache. Vision blurry. Balance off. Nerves stinging immensely throughout. Muscles stiff and throbbing deeply and immensely. Muscles periodically spasms sporadically in body (mostly in legs). Forearms throbbing – it feels like I tried to lift something too heavy and pulled a muscle. Left shoulder sharp stabbing and throbbing. Exhausted. Left chest area still quite bruised. Random hiccups during day, purified water.y
Night vitamins taken. 800mg ibuprofen taken.
Drank green juice twice today, D.E. chia seed chocolate smoothie, strawberry’s as a snack,
Thankful for.
1. God helping me get through the day
