Walking through faith through extreme trials means learning how to carry physical weakness while clinging to spiritual truth. This journal entry reflects a few days in September 2022, capturing the tension between pain, exhaustion, family life, and trusting God in the middle of it all.
This update is from September 7-9, 2022
September 7
Rough night. I’m in a lot of pain and it’s hard to get comfortable let alone stay comfortable. Pain in upper right chest area still very sore but not as bad.
Song: ♫I choose to be a Christian♫
Lots of notifications on phone. Checking them out. Read a devotional which has advt for free book about blogging. I sign up for free eBook. In turn has advt for more information about blogging.
Colossians 1:28; Ezekiel 36-37; Psalm 46:10
Decided to surprise Dezirae and washer her sheets today. Also made bed and washed two loads of her clothes as well as a load of towels.
Worked on blog. Able to finish the scripture journaling calendar for the month and post it.
I’ve done more than enough today and am starting to feel it. Body hurting and I’m wearing out. Time for lunch and rest.
Mom came to check on me, brought me cup of ice, and vacuumed living room and hallway.
6:30 I’m exhausted and body is throbbing. I’m done for the day. Rt eye has been twitching off and on all day.
September 8
6:00 must have done too much y’day or a storm’s brewing because I hurt something awful from head to toes. Snoozing alarm until 6:30.
Psalm 143:10; Ezekiel 38-39; Isaiah 26:3-4
Isaiah 26:3-4
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
I’m in so much pain I feel nauseous.
https://chicagoneuropain.com/blog-the-doctors-notes/why-does-chronic-pain-cause-nausea-and-vomiting/
Drinking peppermint tea to see if it’ll help. Took Rx pain relief as well (tramadol).
Pain eased a little. Washed load of clothes. Folded load. Balance checkbook. Able to do so on first try. Yay! System using excel is helping. Paid few bills. My sister came over and helped me purge some of my kitchen stuff I’ve not used in a while. Slowly trying to get ready to move into a smaller home.
Time to rest a while.
5:00 arrived at church. Helped Dezirae bring things in. A/c unit frozen. Have to get fans going. My right arm is throbbing like a toothache as if I pulled a muscle or something. Dinner prepped and in oven to melt cheese – tuna melts with salad. Ate dinner in Joe’s office where it was cooler.
Went to lay down in nursery for a while. Sat in bean bag. Not enough stuffing. Ugh. Bad idea. I’m hurting worse. Had to have Dezirae help me up. I’m getting grouchy. Lord, help me to be kind.
Chose to not play piano, but did enjoy singing the hymns.
Right arm and wrist swollen and throbbing.
♫So much to thank him for so much to praise him for you see he’s been so good to me ♫
Off to bed. Chemo #4 in the morning. I’m in extreme pain with added pain from pulling a muscle in my right bicep. All I did was help carry some bags into the church from the car. Nothing was overly heavy. Guess I moved my arm wrong. I’ll be glad when the insurance hiccup clears completely and I can schedule the physical therapy. I’m exhausted. Night vitamins taken plus stronger Rx pain reliever.
Thankful for
- Joe trying to help me get the insurance hiccup figured out
- Able to go to church even in pain
- Comfortable bed to sleep in
- Chemo treatment is still a go for tomorrow
Breaking news – Queen Elizabeth passed away today
September 9
4:00 woke to use restroom. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Right arm still aches deeply but not as bad as y’day. Tripped on way to bathroom but was able to catch myself using bed. Vision is blurry this morning. Trouble falling back to sleep. Chose to pray for those who come to mind. Close my eyes and I’m being dragged by something or someone hitting every bump in the road. I can’t get free. I cry out, Lord, help me. It stops and darkness is all around, but I’m at peace.
Remember that I haven’t posted info about the September Scripture Journaling Calendar to social media yet. Decide to do so.
Weight 177; Bp 127/81; Pulse 85; temp 98.3
Bloodwork expected because I had bloodwork last week with Dr apt. I’m stressed. Had to talk with front desk about insurance again. She emailed billing to let them know of the change.
Met another Pastor and his wife. Didn’t know she had cancer. Joe talked to husband. I briefly greeted the wife and talked with her. She told me that she’s praying for me and enjoys reading my posts as they are encouraging to her. Praise the Lord.
Blood pressure changes during chemo:
https://chemocare.com/chemotherapy/side-effects/blood-pressure-changes.aspx
During treatment, my stomach started having chilly tingly burning sensations. Not sure why.
At one point during treatment, I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. Told Joe. Got little more comfortable by reclining I’m chair and crashed quickly. Not sure how long I was out. The beeping of machine giving the fluids woke me temporarily. Got up to use restroom then back out for little while longer after nurse changed out medicines.
1:45 Once home, I was hungry. The steroids have that effect on me the last couple times. Decided to eat a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. Ate too much. Tummy hurts and feels bloated.
5:30 tummy still hurts but decided to eat slice of watermelon.
Feeling very tired and wore out. Moderate pain level at a 6. Stomach cramping and feeling very bloated. Nerves stinging throughout body. Sitting in recliner watching TV and occasionally researching questions about chemo.
7:45 hot flashes are a booger.
https://www.cancercenter.com/integrative-care/hot-flashes
https://www.verywellhealth.com/chemo-side-effects-natural-remedies-88901.
https://csn.cancer.org/discussion/142623/chemo-related-hot-flashes
8:00 Left arm throbbing. Still hot. Ate more watermelon and put fan on high. Laying down as I’m feeling very weak. Chest hurting some. Stomach still hurts.
https://chemocare.com/chemotherapy/side-effects/abdominal-pain-and-cancer.aspx
10:20 trouble sleeping. Doze off and wake back up moments later. Stinging nerve pain in abdomen now.
