Walking Through Faith in Challenging Days
September 27-30, 2022
Walking through faith during extreme trials means learning to carry physical weakness while clinging to spiritual truth. These entries reflect a few days in September 2022, capturing the balance between pain, fatigue, family life, and trusting God throughout it all.
September 27
5:30 woken by alarm. I’m so exhausted and hurting from day before’s activities. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Headache. Eyes watery. Sinuses stuffy. Stomach upset. Think I ate too much at dinner.
Scripture Reflection: Matthew 6:33; Ezra 10; Matthew 6:26-27
Helped Dezirae study for quiz & test. Shared verses for day and prayed with her. Did not have energy to get out of bed. I’m exhausted and hurting from previous days events. Playing wholetones music. Fell asleep quickly.
9:10 Woken by phone call. Mom checking to see about taking me to get my disability placard renewed this afternoon. Told her Yes. Will go this afternoon.
My body hurts immensely (8) all over.
Able to muster enough strength to wash two loads clothes. Fold one load and put it away. Cleaned a little in boys room. Stepped in puddle of water in hallway by AC unit. Ugh. Had to use carpet cleaner to clean up the water. Coils need to be cleaned, but will have to turn off AC to do that. I’ll do that tomorrow. Thankfully a cold front is coming through so it won’t be as hot as it has been. Having trouble with throat feeling like it’s swollen today. Choked on my saliva a couple times today. Once while I was on phone with Joe. Received phone call from my friend Rebecca H today. We had good chat. She told me about a lady that’s knowledgeable in healthy alternatives. I’ll check her out. She asked me to give my testimony and a devotional to her ladies via Facebook in November. I said yes. We also shared prayer requests. God’s expanding my horizons again, of which I feel inadequate and unworthy. Lord, please use me as a vessel for Your honor. Checked on some family and friends that live in Florida due to hurricane Ian. Able to chat with Evelyn M for a bit. I miss her. We are praying for each other as well. I love having friends that are willing to share requests and pray for each other.
Difficulty trying to focus on phone calls, had member install cancer. so exhausted. Trouble swallowing.
September 28
5:00 woken by pain shooting throughout body. Burning up but no fever. Exhausted. Feel like I was beat up. Stinging pain in arms, legs and feet.
Scripture Reflection: 1 Corinthians 2:14; Ezra 10; Nehemiah 1-5; Isaiah 43:2
Wash 2 loads clothes, sewed few chemo pillows, ordered more Velcro, researched a little regarding radiation treatment and natural alternatives, vacuumed living room ceiling (took few tries with breaks in between)
I’m exhausted and wiped out. Time to rest. The vacuuming caused severe pain all over.
2:00 Pain increases (8). I just want to cry. Taking pain rx and lying in bed a while.
4:00 pain rx still has not kicked in. Joe called to talk while on his way home from work. He said there was pain in my voice. Asked what I had been doing. I told him. He said no wonder you’re hurting. I also think part of it is from the barometric pressure change from hurricane Ian.
Outlet in living room blew. At first we thought the breaker blew, but it wasn’t. Joe checked outside box but it was fine too. Turned breaker to outlet off because it and wall was hot. Need to replace outlet. Frustrating, but thankful it’s just an outlet and not house on fire.
After dinner, Joe and I went on short walk in our neighborhood. I need to try to start doing that more. My health depends on it.
Think I’ve developed a sensitivity/allergy to milk. Had to take a Benadryl last night because my throat felt swollen after eating birthday ice cream. My throat was fine today until after dinner. I drank small glass of milk with dinner. My throat now feels swollen again.
Night vitamins taken as well as 1/2 benadryl. I’m in a lot of pain – shooting stinging pain in legs, feet, arms, and hands. Also feel like I did extensive work out. While I didn’t in the gym workout sense, I kind of did with housework vacuuming the ceiling sense. I knew I’d hurt later for it, but it needed to be done. The dusty ceiling was driving me crazy. Joe graciously rubbed my legs and arms with essential oils pain relief rub.
Struggling with theme for Scripture Journaling Calendar for next month. Have several ideas, but no peace about topic yet.
Thankful for…
- Able to tell people that Jakob and Bri are expecting
- Able to dust ceiling in living room
- Able to find a deal on Velcro and get it ordered so I can finish the other chemo port pillows.
September 29
5:00 woken by severe pain in shoulders and upper back. Arms and hands ache fiercely. Very thirsty. Eyes watery.
Song on mind: something about being soldiers of the cross?
Scripture Reflections: John 3:20-21; Nehemiah 6-7
Have bad taste in mouth. It’s almost making me nauceous. Yuck!
How to combat chemo mouth –
https://www.fredhutch.org/en/news/center-news/2014/05/Combating-chemo-mouth-experts-offer-tips.html
September 30
6:00 whole body stiff and throbbing. I’m exhausted and don’t want to get up. Right eye still twitching. Eyes watery. Sneezing. Sinuses slightly congested.
Scripture Reflection: Philippians 1:9-10; Psalm 18:18-19; Nehemiah 8-10
Nehemiah 8:10c – for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 9:31 – Nevertheless for thy great mercies’ sake thou didst not utterly consume them, nor forsake them; for thou art a gracious and merciful God.
Oncology visit –
Weight 174; temp 97.6; BP 87/63 wow! retake 114/77
I haven’t even taken my BP med in over a month and haven’t taken my med/vitamins this morning yet.
Able to bring some chemo port pillows this morning. The nurses were grateful because they were out. Given a goodie bag of tea assortments.
Aloxi (anti-nausea)
Dexamethasone (steroid) 20 minutes – getting a chilling sensation all over body. Putting sweater on. Turn heat on in chair. Whew! I’m cold.
Playing wholetones music on phone while scripture journaling.
Emend (anti-nausea) 30 minutes
Ontruzant (Herceptin) (immune therapy) 30 minutes
https://foodforbreastcancer.com/articles/foods-to-eat-and-avoid-during-treatment-with-herceptin
Playing wholetones music on phone while scripture journal. I usually do the scripture journaling in note pad on phone, but I’m working on transferring to a physical journal to have as a keepsake and pass on to my kids. If it comes to a time in America where owning a Bible is illegal, then I’ll have scripture written out in journal form to help continue to encourage others who have no hope or are in need of encouragement.
I can only write out two at a time then my eyes cross, vision blurry, and hands cramp. Time to working on something else for a little bit.
Projeta (immune therapy) 30 minutes
I’m getting a headache.
I’m freezing from chewing on ice. It’s been suggested that I chew on ice throughout the treatment to maybe help keep the mouth sores at bay. I feel like a frozen popsicle. Decided to go on adventure to look for decaf tea. Smiled and greeted all the other patients I passed with a “Good morning”. Most of them replied good morning back and smiled.
Taxol (chemotherapy) 15 minutes slow then will increase flow for 45 minutes
Stomach is starting to hurt. My head is starting to have a chilly tingly sensation.
Front center of chest chilling icy sensation that is slowly moving through torso to my back and sides.
Carboplatin (chemotherapy) 30 minutes
My stomach is starting to hurt. Joe says the last one always makes my stomach hurt.
Nurses today: Tiffany/ Jessica
I think I want to make homemade brownies for the nurses next visit as a thank you.
12:30 I’m breaking out of jail (aka hospital) and on my way home
Craving clam chowder and homemade rolls.
2:30 I have burning stinging sensation in my hands and arms. Getting really tired. Irritated (cost more money than I expected to replace two GFI outlets in living room that went bad after a power outage earlier this week).
2:50 Woah! Joe changing the outlets. The one outlet is fried!!! No wonder the wall was hot. Thank you, Lord, for your protection.
I need to lay down for a bit. Energy draining fast.
Need to go to bank, dollar store, and grocery store before dinner party tonight. I don’t feel like it but cannot put it off. Joe cooking the meat.
Diarrhea attacks me at dollar store. Ugh.
https://nutritionfacts.org/video/fasting-mimicking-diet-before-and-after-chemotherapy/
Able to update my pharmacist at the grocery a little. She was glad to see me. She wasn’t there the last two times I was there.
Homemade rolls in oven. I’m exhausted and laying down until timer rings.
Dinner was delicious. Told Mom she should sell her pies at Thanksgiving to make some extra money. I didn’t last long after dinner. Began hurting and fading quickly. Told Joe that I needed to go home because I wasn’t feeling good. Dad got up and gave me hugs.
Went straight to bed. Watched a movie based on true story. As the night progresses, I’m feeling worse. I hurt immensely all over. My stomach has sharp stabbing pains. Slight case of the runs. Exhausted. Heart palpitations.
Decided to take my pm vitamins and the strong pain rx. Finished off a body armour doing so. Applied frankincense to cancer spots. Struggled getting dressed for bed so I left my Tshirt on. Plus, the sleeves will help keep the flashlight green light on my arm covered.
Thankful for…
- Joe being able to change out the fried electrical outlet
- God’s protection in keeping our house from catching fire
- I didn’t have to cook dinner and Dad seemed to like his present (Cheerwine soda and an elephant statue).
- Heard from both boys today.
- Thankful for good cancer support group that is willing to answer questions as needed.
Going to be a long night. Having hot flashes. Trouble getting comfortable. Left arm throbbing and shooting pain in left shoulder. God please help.
