Walking Through Faith in Challenging Days
October 4-6, 2022
Walking through faith during extreme trials means learning to carry physical weakness while clinging to spiritual truth. These entries reflect a few days in October 2022, capturing the balance between pain, fatigue, family life, and trusting God throughout it all.
October 4
5:30 mouth very dry. Thirsty. Water tastes off. Exhausted. Hurting all over. Don’t want to get up. Headache. Palpitations.
Song: ♫ Since Jesus Passed By ♫
Scripture Reflection: Proverbs 27:1; Matthew 3; Mark 1; Luke 3:1-38; John 14:27
Working on finishing up the devotional and scripture journaling calendar for October. Listening to wholetones music. The chemo is kicking my butt this time. With God’s help, I will overcome. I just need to rest a while. I’m so tired and feel very weak.
1:20 attempted to go get a chair out of shed to soak up some vitamin D. Didn’t get very far before I got out of breath and felt like my legs were going to give out under me. Need to go lie down. Nasty taste in mouth making me a little nauseous.
Severe mouth sores and burning throat making it painful and hard to swallow. Everything tastes horrible. I wish I could numb my throat. Stomach hurts.
Swished with M.O.M. and Benadryl mix. Didn’t help me. Swish with colloidal silver. Applied thin layer of peroxide and brushed teeth and tongue. Gagged myself in the process. Applied coconut oil to face and stomach. Sipping ice cold water.
Took probiotics only and a pain rx. Hope it’ll knock me out soon.
Thankful for…
- Ability to work on scripture journaling calendar today a little
- Joe taking Dezirae to piano lesson
- Weather was beautiful today
October 5
5:00 come awfully early. Took a bit to fall asleep. I’m so tired. Throat dry almost cottony feeling. Water tastes horrible. Eyes watery. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Head hurts. Cold. Trouble holding on to phone while typing.
Song: ♫My King Is Known by His Love♫
Center of chest starting to hurt. Nose running. Sneezing. Nauseous. Not feeling well. It’s hard getting things done when you’re under the weather.
Scripture Reflection: Isaiah 55:6; Matthew 4; Luke 4-5; John 1:15-51; Psalm 37:23
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Helping Dezirae study for several tests/quizzes today. Something about them being moved up because the soccer team out of town for tournament and end of quarter finals next week.
I’m not feeling well at all. Diarrhea. Bloody nose. Legs stinging pain.
Tried swishing with coconut oil and 1 drop of clove oil. Gagged and about puked, but tongue doesn’t hurt as bad. Going to go lay down for a bit.
John 14:1
Playing wholetones music while I rest.
9:00am sent encouragements to Dezirae’s teachers today plus a couple friends. Two friends sent me texts today.
5:00 it’s been a frustrating day of phones calls trying to get doctor appointments rescheduled so as to not conflict with one another or something else that’s going on. To top it off, my throat is swollen and my tongue is on fire, which makes talking and swallowing difficult.
Learned that my breast surgery must be scheduled within 4-6 weeks after the last chemotherapy treatment. I have no idea when the radiologist and PET scan appointments will be within all that as well.
Finished writing my devotional for October today. Decided to just sit down and focus on that today. I needed to find peace in my storm today.
Received a package today. It had chemo hats and 2 bottles of mouth rinse. The mouth rinse helped me be able to eat some rice for dinner. A church family (Ireland’s) stopped by and brought some groceries. Thank you, Lord, for Your goodness.
Couple bloody noses today, which took few minutes to stop. Eyes twitching randomly throughout the today. It gets frustrating at times. Left shoulder keeps trying to pop out of place. It hurts.
Thankful for…
- The goodness of the Lord
- The gift of oral rinse so I could eat some rice tonight.
- Able to sell the hideaway couch today. Joe graciously met the people after work.
October 6
Took a while to fall asleep, but once I did I slept most of the night. Throat and tongue hurt but not as bad as last night. Very thirsty. Still tired. Small hairs keep falling in face which are bothersome. Cold. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Nose feels dry.
Scripture Reflection: Isaiah 26:4; John 2-4; Psalm 31:20;
Song: ♫Goodness of God ♫
Center of chest hurts. Headache. Nose slightly bloody. Feeling weak.
That moment when you hide something for a project and now that you need it you cannot remember where you put it nor can you find it. Ugh.
Skin infection in belly button again. I really need to make more colloidal silver, but I cannot find the batteries.
Juicing carrots, red cabbage, apple, lemon, ginger, Moringa Leaf powder. That wore me out. Need to rest a bit. Listening to music on Spotify.
Psalm 23:4
Physical therapy (PT) today was exercises to establish a baseline – treadmill, exercise bike, arm peddler (?), core exercises (squeeze ball in between knees 20x, knee presses from xl ball 20x, xl ball on stomach suck in gut while pressing on ball with arms 20x) wanted me to do stomach suck 2xs, but first round drew tears. Told him I couldn’t do second set. I’m feeling the burn. Tummy hurting. Holly asked about getting a photo. PT said pictures were okay as long as other patients aren’t in them. He offered to take our photo. Had good chat with PT (off record) about my chemo treatment and options. Told him what I was considering. He reminded me that the Drs are to work for me. He also said he thought my plan of action was a good one. I just need to get it on paper to weigh pros and cons and pray over it some more.
Had to make trip to bathroom once home. I’m really feeling the burn in my legs and slightly in my arms. Will need to rest for the day. .
Mom came over to sit and watch a Hallmark movie with me. I was about to go lay down for a nap, but I enjoyed the company. Ended up dozing a few times. Lol.
Tried to can bone broth but 5 of the lids buckled. I don’t have energy to redo them tonight, so I’ll try again in morning.
Tired. Chest is hurting. Lower legs tourniquet tightening feeling with stinging tingling to feet. Cold. Feet chilly. Tongue hurts. Body armour drink burned my tongue. Tried to eat rice for dinner but the salt free seasoning burned my tongue and couldn’t eat it. Froze tongue with grape popsicle but it irritated my stomach.
Stomach hurts. Center of chest throbbing. Whole body stiff and throbbing. Left shoulder tried to pop again and it’s sore. I have two Dr appointments tomorrow and I don’t want to go, but need to. Ugh.
Thankful for… 1. Ability to rest today after PT 2. Able to post devotional and scripture journaling calendar to blog. 3. Ability to can broth even if it doesn’t go right the first time.
