Walking Through Faith in Hard Times
October 16-18, 2022
Walking through Faith in Hard Times is challenging, especially when facing illness, fatigue, and uncertainty. In this journal entry from October 16–18, 2022, I share my personal experiences of living out faith in hard times each day, trusting God through physical trials, family responsibilities, and daily life challenges.
October 16
6:30 hit snooze. Groggy. Nerves stinging. Nasty taste. Dry mouth. 7:40 bulletins printed and folded. Not feeling right. A little nauceous. Throat starting to hurt.
Scripture: Psalm 19:14; Matthew
Struggled through special music “If That Isn’t Love”. About lost my voice towards the end, but asked God in my thoughts to help and pushed through.
Jordon has food poisoning and is not feeling well. He came home today anyways. I didn’t have anything at church I could give him, so I figured I’d do something at home. Mom googled what to do. Suggested ginger. Gave Jordon a ginger chew (I forgot he was allergic). He didn’t eat it and politely asked if he should eat it. It dawned on me why he was asking and I quickly told him no. He gave it back. Gave him peppermints instead. After lunch, I googled natural remedies to see what I had. Came across colloidal silver article. It might even help me. Gave Jordon one ounce of colloidal silver in glass of water. I’m doing the same. Also, sucking on a ginger chew.
Playing wholetones music on my phone. https://thesilveredge.com/have-you-tried-colloidal-silver-for-food-poisoning/
Took nice nap. Wish it was longer. Stomach doesn’t hurt as bad. Left eye feels swollen and scratchy.
Mark 4-5
Jordon feeling a little better. Sent him with some colloidal silver and instructions.
October 17
4:30 woke to use restroom. Mouth very dry. Exhausted. Lft shoulder throbbing.
6:00 woken by alarm. Strange dream.
Scripture: Psalm 25:14-15; Matthew 14
Read devotional with Dezirae. Started laundry (load in dryer and in washer). Drank cup of parsley tea. Trouble keeping eyes open. Taking a nap. Playing wholetones music.
Whole body stiff and throbbing. Eyes watery – left eye more. Lips chapped. Thirsty. Headache. Muscles randomly twitching throughout body. Hands and fingers tingly. Exhausted as if I haven’t slept in days.
I’m starting to have bouts of extreme hunger. I eat what I think I’m craving only for the taste to not satisfy. My tummy hurts and feels bloated afterwards. This is a new thing to me and I don’t know what to think.
Severe stomach cramping and making several trips to restroom.
Piano lessons. Trip to Sam’s Club. Let Dezirae pick out ice cream to celebrate her good grades.
Symptoms: exhausted, lft eye watery and burning, lft eye slightly swollen, lft shoulder throbbing, arms ache, tingling in hands and feet, severe stomach cramping and pain, hungry, thirsty, dry mouth, oranges burnt tongue, sour taste in mouth, sinuses congested, slight runny nose, tired, chemo brain, lethargic, periodic muscles twitching randomly throughout body, chills, feet freezing, headache, lack of menstruation, lost a little more hair today, nail are more brittle, slight bloody nose, balance off – almost fell couple times today, skin dry, periodic itching, chest hurts
Thankful for
- Received gift in mail today – Christmas Garden flag
- Only one more chemo to go
- God’s amazing grace
- Able to buy toilet paper at Sam’s Club tonight
October 18
5:10 woke thinking it was later. Mouth very dry. Arms ache fiercely. Nose congested. Exhausted.
Scripture: Psalm 27:14; Mark 6; Luke 9; John 6; Proverbs 3:1-2
Physical therapy went well today. Therapist gave me more exercises to do. Worked out for thirty minutes. Able to walk for 5 minutes on treadmill at .8 speed. Explained that I was having my last chemo on Friday and usually sick for a week afterwards so I wouldn’t be able to come next week. Asked for exercises to do at home so I don’t lose my progress. She gladly printed them out with instructions on how many reps of each.
Mom and I went to the food pantry today. I met a lady that has difficulty speaking due to having 3 strokes. I was also talking with a deaf man that works at same place with her. I was doing my best to interpret both for each other. I encouraged her to learn sign language to be better able to communicate. I suggested she check at the Goodwill Education center on Schillinger but I don’t know if they actually do that. Reached out to a former ASL student to ask for help in finding a place for adults to learn sign language for free or minimal cost. She agreed to help me. I got excited to be able to help. Gerald told me that I looked beautiful. Explained that reason I was wearing hat was due to having breast cancer. He told me that he would pray for me. Later when he got ready to leave, he told Mom and I that he loved us. I taught Mom how to say I love you with one hand. I was also able to teach Emily the alphabet while we waited. She thanked me. I refrained from volunteering to teach her because I need to focus on healing right now. Praying God will provide a way for her to learn sign language soon. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to be a witness and an encouragement to others.
Began putting food away once home. Needed to rearrange freezer to fit food. Went to print a freezer inventory list, but ended up creating my own. Saved it to post on my blog later. Whew! I didn’t realize we had that much. Thank you, Lord! Cleaned all produce. Put onions in dehydrator. Sliced cucumbers to dehydrate as well. Washed and dried two loads clothes. Folded and put away load of Joe’s clothes. Dinner in crockpot. Unloaded dishwasher. Covered plants due to it supposed to be getting down to upper 30’s tonight.
Smell of dinner is rubbing my smell the wrong way and turning my stomach. Chose to eat a little anyways. Tasted okay to me. Couldn’t eat it all though.
Dezirae has headache and not feeling well. Told her to take headache medicine and immune boosting vitamins. She went to bed early.
I’m feeling all the workout all over now. Left eye swollen and burning. Feels like glass shards in my eye. Put a few colloidal silver drops in eyes. Eased discomfort temporarily. Both eyes watering. Cyst on head throbbing. Able to get a little more gunk out. Applied apple cider vinegar on cotton ball with Band-Aid to aid in healing. Pain level about a 7. Exhausted and energy is draining quickly.
Thankful for 1. God’s provision of food 2. Good workout today 3. Being able to help Emily and encourage Gerald. 4. Jordon is starting to feel better
For more encouragement, read this devotional on trusting God in difficult times
