Walking Through Faith in Challenging Days
November 1-3, 2022
Walking through faith during extreme trials means learning to carry physical weakness while clinging to spiritual truth. These entries reflect a few days in November 2022, capturing the balance between pain, fatigue, family life, and trusting God throughout it all.
November 1
6:45 trouble waking. I’m so tired. Strange dream (woke from dream that we were sitting down to eat dinner. I looked at my plate and there was a giant bee on it. I refused to eat it.) Stomach aches. Body hurts. Feel like I could sleep for hours more.
Song: ♫ I Am Free ♫
Scripture: Ephesians 1:18; Matthew 20-21
Get up to read Scripture to Dezirae and pray with her before going to school. Once she left, I locked doors, turned off lights, back to bed, set alarm, playing wholetones music.
Woke feeling more exhausted than before I fell asleep. Thought I heard someone at the door. It was just the cat.
Working on canning applesauce. Put vitamins and medicines for the week in the med caddy for Joe and I. Listening to my first podcast about interview with Chris Wark. Need to research questions to ask about the PET scan.
Electrician came out to give estimate for fixing meter box. What a mess. It’s going to cost $1600 to fix because of new code laws and requiring installation of smoke detectors in all rooms of the house plus replacing items in meter box. I just want to cry. We don’t have that much money.
He did say a prayer asking God to heal me of the cancer. He lost his wife to stage 4 lung cancer two years ago.
Internet person never showed. Took me long time to figure out how to circumnavigate the automated system because it has power outage flagged for my phone number, but that information is wrong. Ticket called on Sunday got cancelled. New ticket created, but it won’t be until tomorrow before they came come out. Ugh!
Highlight of my day. A young lady from PCC contacted me about helping us design a logo for our church. I was going to surprise Joe, but I think I need to involve him. We need to consider purpose, colors, cross, pine tree, etc. This is exciting, but I don’t want to make mistake.
Actually able to eat lunch and dinner with incident today. Finding I digest better with help of papaya enzymes. Still have nasty, salty, chemical taste in mouth, but I think it’s eased a little. Starting to feel a smidge better though I have no energy and wear out easily. Arms and hands get numbish and tingling if I lay on them wrong or on certain positions. Hands have the dropsies periodically throughout day.
Joe drew me an Epsom salt bath to see it’ll help. It felt good to relax in the warm water, but I got bored after 15 minutes or so. To get full benefit, I have to soak for 40 minutes.
Thankful for 1. Dezirae doing some grocery shopping 2. Able to eat two meals today 3. Made my first batch of applesauce and all the jars sealed first time 4. Even though things seem bleak financially, I know God can provide.
November 2
5:00 woken by Joe giving me a kiss before leaving for work.
Song: ♫Lord, You’re Amazing♫
My mind goes to the electric issue and internet issue then jumps to all the other things that need to be fixed in the house. I begin praying and telling God all that needs to be fixed and how we don’t have the money to fix them. I explain that I don’t want to worry about them but it’s hard not to. I ask God to provide.
Scripture: 1 Peter 2:9; Luke 18:15-19:48; Psalm 2
Actually start to feel like a human again. Able to wash two loads clothes and fold and put away 1.5 loads. One load still in dryer. Able to do few chores around house.
Internet was finally reinstalled today. Thank you, Lord. Surprised the tech by knowing his name. Lol.
By 7:00pm I was totally drained of all energy.
Worked some on the scripture journaling calendar for this month. I’m a bit behind from being sick. That was rough stuff. There probably was a time when I should have went to hospital, but I didn’t want to go. I’d rather be in comfort of my own home.
Symptoms: left eye twitching periodically throughout day, easily out of breath upon exertion, easily fatigued, lack of energy, upon waking didn’t have any desire to get going, but forced myself, both arms and hands numb and tingling upon waking, legs ache, feet tingling, periodic headache, runny nose, itchy eyes, left eye suddenly began swelling after dinner and very itchy – swollen to twice size and hard to see out of. Not sure what caused it – maybe from dusting some in house today. Lightheaded at times especially if getting up too fast. Rapid heart rate. Periodic chest pain. Coughing with production of phlegm at times. Dry mouth. Extreme salty chemical taste in mouth that makes me gag at times. Stomach pain. Gas. Forehead seems extra dry today as if peeling from sunburn.
Thankful for…
- Internet being fixed
- Able to get some chores done
- Feeling a little better
November 3
3:00 woken by coughing. Used restroom. Fell asleep fairly quickly.
5:00 woke thinking I heard my name.
Song: ♫Standing on the Promises♫
Scripture: Romans 13:1; Mark 11; John 12; Hebrews 11:1
Left eye still hurts and feels swollen. Decided to wipe my eye with a warm wet rag. Upon doing so, an amaranth seeds fell out of my eye. I didn’t even know it was in there. Wow. My eye is starting to feel better. Looked up what ed-a- hist was last night. It’s basically Allegra-D. Decided to take 1/2 pill to see if it’ll help with my allergies and congestion. Nose wouldn’t stop running y’day even with nasal spray.
Up with Dezirae to read devotional and pray with her before school. Load of blankets in washer. Filled sugar, creamer, salt and pepper shakers and I’m wore out. Need to rest a while.
Energy draining fast today. Diarrhea came on quickly after eating early lunch. After several hours, I let Joe know I wasn’t going to be able to go to church. I was looking forward to it. Took 45 minute nap this afternoon. Still tired. Not supposed to do any exercise today so I guess I’m just resting. I know I usually only drink water but having to do a strict diet for the PET scan makes me want to drink something else when I can’t. Frustrating, but I’ll abide because I don’t want to jeopardize the test. I’m praying for good results.
Symptoms: arms and hands numbish and tingling upon waking each time. Left eye watery and hurting. Swelling went down a bit after removing the seed. Felt some better but still hurts. Periodic ringing in ears that lasted ten to twenty minutes each time. Noticed my overall pain level wasn’t as bad today. Lethargic. Easily out of breath. Woke exhausted making it difficult getting up. Diarrhea came on quickly after lunch – still have it at bed time but not as bad as earlier.
Thankful for… 1. Overall pain level not being as bad today 2. Joe got paid few days early 3. Internet fixed 4. Able to work on Thanksgiving advt for church FB page
Prayers 1. Good results of PET scan 2. Diarrhea to stop 3. Eye to stop hurting 4. God to provide for all our needs 5. God to guide, bless, and protect our children 6. Wisdom in writing November devotional and scripture journaling calendar
