Life is hard. Kindness, courage, and love will help you prosper.
Author: Melissa
Hello, my name is Melissa. I grew up as a pastor's kid and am now a pastor's wife. I'm married to Joseph Smith, who is the Pastor of Pine Air Baptist Church in Grand Bay, AL. We have three miracle children here on earth and two in heaven.
As of July 18, 2017, God graciously allowed me to survive being struck by lightning. Five years later on March 31, 2022, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer HER2+ and HER2-. Today, I can say, together with God's help, I am an OVERCOMER!
Because He lives and His mercies renew every morning, I can say I am a Lightning Survivor, Cancer Warrior, and Daughter of the King!
7:00a – woke with neck hurting & body generally stiff and achy.
Had more energy today than in long time and not hurting as much.
11:53p – hands tingly and achy, neck still stiff and hurting, wide awake, headache, legs ache, low back hurting, rt elbow aching, rt ear itchy and hurts.
Enjoyed some much needed “grounding” yesterday while enjoying God’s handiwork in the land and sea. Thankful for God’s faithfulness and mercies for they are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
October 17
951p Neck hurting. Migraine. Got stressed out at church over song service bc we forgot a song (only 3 listed not 4…Joe said shake hands after 2nd verse on 2nd song & song leader had people shake hands after 1st verse)…trouble playing songs…two of hymns caused extreme pain in hands and arms while playing, etc. Now tearful sharp needle pain in upper back and shoulders.
October 18
7:30a- woke with neck hurting, slight headache, hands swollen and achy, stinging needle pain in upper back, eyes watery
Webster defines RENEW as to make like new; restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection; to make new spiritually: regenerate
KJV Dictionary defines RENEW as to renovate; to restore to a former state, or to a good state, after decay or depravation; to rebuild, to repair to make new
Romans 12:1-2 says “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
A person can be pulled at from many directions during the week making it tough to be successful negotiating all the demands from life in general.
Whether you must work to help provide for the family, deal with bosses and coworkers, juggle housework, pay bills, keep up with doctor appointments, raise children, do laundry, cook, clean, do home repairs, complete car maintenance, participate in social engagements, endure physical ailments, etc., these things can get you bogged down with unrealistic expectations of what you can handle with the resources you have.
You often find yourself emotionally and physically exhausted. Then, you find yourself resisting making commitments and fearful of the choices you make.
The “renewing” in verse two in the Greek language means renovation: renewing. In order to renew our minds, we need to determine to spend much needed time with the Lord on a daily basis. We must pursue Christ asking Him to reveal the truth we need for the day, and pray that He will provide the wisdom and knowledge (James 1:5) and strength (Isaiah 40:31) that we need for each day.
Went to church to vacuum foyer and fall décor. Carpet on front porch more ripped. Lifted the piece blowing in wind and accidentally ripped it more. Decided to rip it all off. Had to chisel/scrap some of glue spots on bottom half. Came home and soaked in Epsom Salt bath to ease pain.
October 11
5:30a- woke with bad headache, whole body aches 4.5, neck throbbing, hands swollen and achy, feet tingly, low back hurting
8:00a- woke in a panic. Suppose to get up at 7am. Thought I hit snooze the second time, but apparently not! Now late…gave myself a headache & bloody nose! Ugh! Read two passages in Bible.
Cooked egg for Dezirae. Packed her a lunch and out tge door by 8:30a. Volleyball tournament in Semmes. Have to borrow a car to get her there.
10:00a- decided to make batch of homemade bisquick mix. Messed up royally! Direction asked for 5 TBPS of Baking powder. My eyes saw 5 cups sugar. Realized it after I dumped 5th cup of sugar on top of flour. Able to scoop out 2 1/2 cups of sugar.
Next mishap was the baking powder. I grabbed what I thought was baking powder and measured out 5 TBPS. Kept going. It wasn’t until I was putting items away that it was actually corn starch! Ugh!
I let Jordon know what I did. While chuckling, he came and gave me a hug and replied, “It’s okay, Mom!” Awh!
I replied, “I’m not getting much right today.
Jordon reiterates, “It’s okay, mom.”
I said, “I know. It’s just frustrating at times.”
11:00a- able to weed 2nd half of my flower garden in front yard. Also, planted winter onions in a tote.
12:21p – received notification that Dezirae’s game was over and she was free to go home. Had to let them know that I didn’t have access to a car until my husband gets home. One of the other moms graciously offered to bring her home. Thank you, Lord.
1:00p- able to plant green beans & bell peppers in totes too. Prayed they will grow and produce fruit. I don’t have a green thumb, but I’m trying.
3:00p- went out soulwinning with my family to pass out fliers for our church’s revival services. The very first house my sister & I approached the guy was rude! He told us that we needed to get out of the neighborhood. When we asked why, he told us because he was fixing to sick his dog on us. We told him we didn’t want to cause any trouble. As we turned to walk away, he proceeded to try to sick his dog on us! The dog didn’t do anything. I couldn’t walk very fast because I have to use a cane for balance. We kept on going. In my mind, I shook the dust off my feet and prayed that one day this man will get saved.
After thought – what man in his right mind sicks his dog on a cripple woman walking with a cane. Shame on him! Thank you, Lord, for the dog not coming after us because the whole neighborhood would’ve heard me screaming!!
5pm- back home to eat dinner. Thankfully, dinner was in crockpot pot. I’m exhausted.
6:00p- the events of day are catching up to me. I’m really hurting and ready for bed. Still have a bad headache. Gonna have to take a migraine pill…nothing else is working.
7:30 – watched Courageous with family. Noticed my headache was starting to ease. Finally. Hard to think straight when head hurts that much.
10:17p – going to bed. I’m tired, but wide awake.
Low back throbbing, ears itch, hands swollen and achy, toes tingly, feet hurt, neck hurts, upper back achy, hiccups, tired but cant sleep, arm hurt, calves starting to cramp & ache
Sundays just wear me out so much. It’s hard to get up Monday mornings and get going let alone staying motivated to keep going. So tired and wore out.
9:37- I purposely didn’t take a nap so I would fall asleep easy bc I have to get up early to take Joe to work in order to get the car tomorrow. Epic fail! I’m still wide awake!!! Ugh! I’m seriously in pain all over! I only managed to help both Jordon & Dezirae in math today, wash 3 loads of clothes, and cook dinner. Lord, I need Your healing, guidance, and provision. Food is a need, help provide please.
October 9
Busy day today…
5:15am- took my husband to work so I could have car
6am- youngest child started working on school work
7:30am- woke middle child up to start school work.
8:15am- I actually tried walking a little in our neighborhood. Able to walk up and down most of our street (about 1/10th of a mile) before I started hurting too much.
9am- couldn’t go no more…crashed & took cat nap
10:00- food pantry to get some groceries
10:20- put food away. Helped middle child with math (attempted too. I’ve forgotten how to do Geometry. Thankfully, he’s been smart enough to figure it out by my just reading it back to him. I want to re-learn…only thing I’ve managed to remember is how to work the algebraic equations once they’re in place)
11:00- went to TBI mtg. Residule effects of TBIare similar to those of a stroke victim. Can look for stretching exercises for stroke victims that might help. TBI group will be able to get help with Dr appts. Thank you, Lord.
1:20- went to pick husband up from work. Husband drove home. Traffic too congested for me to handle.
3:40- taking daughter to her last volleyball game. Tournament on Friday. Able to stay for JV game and one match of varsity game. Hurting too much and muscles starting to cramp in legs. Had to go home.
3:54p – Today my son was assisting me by offering me his arm to help me walk. He was walking a little too fast for my speed so I was trying to politely tell him to slow down by reminding him that I was a turtle not a hare. It didn’t come out that way. Instead I said, You’re going a little too fast. Remember I’m a tortoise not a turtle.”
He chuckled and replied while patting me on the arm, “It’s okay, Mom, I knew what you meant.”
I replied, “Oh, what did I say?” He repeated what I said. I also chuckled and said what I meant to say.
Later I looked up difference between a turtle and a tortoise. Turns out that on land a tortoise is faster than a turtle. Haha!
6:45pm- Joe graciously made dinner so I could rest. Food is almost always delicious when it’s made with love!
6:50a- woke at 3am left arm and elbow throbbing, heart felt like it was racing, had trouble falling back to sleep
7:30a- I hurt all over. Feet ache. Calves ache. Hands swollen and achy. Rt elbow hurts. Stomach hurts. Eyes feel crusty and heavy. Neck hurts. Head hurts. Tired.
11:26p – been on go most of day. Kids been big helps. Dezirae’s team lost, but fought hard. Jordon made dinner.
As I’m relaxing I’m feeling the day hit me hard. I hurt as though I was in a bad fight! Made brownies for tomorrow. Beef in crockpot browning overnight for sloppy joes. Pain is keeping me awake. Husband so tired he’s sawing logs right now.
Oct 6
A peek in the window of a lightning survivor….
I have memory loss and have forgotten how to do many things. Knowing that I should know how and forgot is frustrating at times. And there’s no rhyme or reason as to things I can and cannot remember.
For example… I planned a simple dinner meal for tonight – Chicken Veggie Stir Fried Rice. I’ve made it more than a dozen times, yet I simply have forgotten how to do it. Thankfully, there’s the internet & Pintrest that I can quickly look it up.
Then there’s the issue that my upper body strength and stamina have dimishished so much that I have to ask for help stirring after a while because my arms wear out and I start hurting more than I can bear. Or I get side tracked easily and end of forgetting to add certain ingredients or mixing up the directions.
I’m not complaining in the least. Life has been much harder since the anomoly. I am thankful for God’s faithfulness and that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
I just figure since my type of injury isn’t studied enough because doctors don’t think it happens enough that maybe allowing others to take a peek at some of my struggles may helps others know how to be more supportive with those who struggle with the same type of injuries as I do.
But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Isaiah 64:8
“I will serve Thee because I love Thee
You have given life to me.
I was nothing before You found me,
You have given life to me.
Chorus:
Heartaches, broken pieces,
Ruined lives are why You died on Calvary.
Your touch was what I longed for,
You have given life to me.”
It’s amazing to think that God has the power to put back together the broken pieces of our lives. We are the clay and He is the Potter. Clay when placed in the Potter’s hand can be formed into something wonderful and new.
Our heartaches don’t have to mean the end of hope. We just need to place our trust in Him and allow Him to work in and through our lives. He will take our broken pieces and form them into something beautiful in His time.
I enjoyed ladies conference last weekend, but it was too too much for me. I’ve been in so much pain since and so tired. Tried to pick up refill of pain med only to find out it has been taken off the $4 list at Wal-Mart. I couldn’t afford it now I’m scramblin to figure out what to do.
Family has been trying to be understanding, but I feel they’re getting tired of it all. If only I could get someone to explain to all of us so we can understand it better.
Lord, we’re struggling and I’m not even able to afford my meds anymore. Please I need you to supply our needs. What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.
My brain hurts, sinuses are horrible, neck hurts, low back hurts, both hands and wrists swollen and throbbing, rt hip hurts, left eye feels droopy, nose hurts, feet & legs ache, tired but cant sleep…
Oct 3
Don’t know what I’ve done, but I’m in so much pain!!! Both calves are cramping and spazzing. Feet hurt. Hand and arms swollen and aching. Entire back throbbing. Headache. I’ve taken pain rx & it hasn’t touched it. Indigestion. Neck throbbing. Exhausted but still awake.
Waiting to see how He alone is going to turn this present trial into a blesing!
Oct 4
8:19a-I still hurt all over! Left elbow throbbing. Legs and feet hurt. Hands and forearms swollen and achy. Back hurts.
12:00pm- left hand and arm shaking horribly and uncontrollably
Webster defines graces as… unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification
KJV Dictionary defines grace as… Favor; good will; kindness; disposition to oblige another; Appropriately, the free unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive from him.
Therefore, as ye abound in every thing, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound in this grace also. 2 Corinthians 8:7
Grace is the love of God shown to all men regardless of status, race, size, or appearance. It’s the peace of God that calms even the most anxious soul. It’s the undeserved favor of God.
It’s not getting what we deserve. We deserve eternal damnation in the pits of hell. Yet, God, who is rich in mercy, loved us enough to sacrifice His only begotten Son (Ephesians 2:4). He gave us the eternal Hope of salvation.
God’s grace sought us out even though we have nothing in return to give. His love is unconditional. Grace can turn a life around from hopelessness to one full of hope & vitality.
Additional Scripture: Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Timothy 1:9, John 1:14, 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, Hebrews 4:16, James 4:6, Psalm 103:8, Titus 2:11-12, 2 Peter 3:18
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I may not know how everything works, but please help me to trust You more. Without You nothing else makes sense. Thank you that Your grace is sufficient in times of need. I ask that you help my family and I to grow in grace and in the knowledge of You. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Hymns of Praise: 1. Amazing Grace 2. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing 3. ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus 4. Grace Greater Than Our Sin 5. To God Be the Glory
“I will serve Thee because I love Thee 
