Life is hard. Kindness, courage, and love will help you prosper.
Author: Melissa
Hello, my name is Melissa. I grew up as a pastor's kid and am now a pastor's wife. I'm married to Joseph Smith, who is the Pastor of Pine Air Baptist Church in Grand Bay, AL. We have three miracle children here on earth and two in heaven.
As of July 18, 2017, God graciously allowed me to survive being struck by lightning. Five years later on March 31, 2022, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer HER2+ and HER2-. Today, I can say, together with God's help, I am an OVERCOMER!
Because He lives and His mercies renew every morning, I can say I am a Lightning Survivor, Cancer Warrior, and Daughter of the King!
6.00 took a while to fall asleep. I think the peppermint tea helped me fall asleep before midnight. Woke at 3.30 to severe sharp pains in center of chest. I’m so hurting all over!!! I don’t feel like moving at all.
2.00 having very off feeling day. Hard to focus or get motivated to do anything. Got Joe’s rebate request in mail. Started planning lesson for school got side tracked several times. Know I’m suppose to be doing something important but can’t remember it. Checked to do list – it’s not written there. Need to get better plan of cleaning upset.
4.30 we were suppose to leave already for church and I’m not even ready. Entire functional system has been slow moving today and I’m really hurting. Dezirae tried to get my help in science and I couldn’t even push through brain fog to understand to help her.
6.00 rt hip is throbbing worse than toothache. Pain rx not even touching it.
11.50 insides feel like they’re spasming, whole body hurts, hands throbbing, rt hand itches, very tired, feet cold, tummy growling, lft thumb crampinf, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, rt hip throbbing, Elbows stinging.
Nov 8
7.00 relived lightning strike incident in my dreams last night except this time we call 911. I wouldn’t let them take me until Joe got home from work. I’m in much pain this morning. Hurts to move. Feet are numbish.
6.30p friend arrived safely from out of town. Glad they’re here.
11.59p rt hip giving me a fit. I so hurt and so tired.
Nov 9
7.00 slept fair. Whole body hurts. Headache.
8.00 Joe sweet enough to make breakfast – made pancakes.
9.00 blew nose. It’s bloody. Ugh! Bp 127/76 hr 70 Not sure what’s up. So tired and I haven’t done anything.
1.30 Joe, Jakob, & Dad left for church. Meeting other preacher’s on ordination counsel about ordaining Joe. Upset I can’t be there. Jakob going to take pictures for me. He’ll be presented church & bible tomorrow before church tomorrow. Exciting day!
2.00 rock n roll playing in thrift store is making my nerves jumpy and hurting!!! I must vacate premises. This noise is bothersome.
7.30 nose bleeding. I’m feeling weak. I don’t know why it happens.
10.00 extremely tired. Joe thinks the naproxen is cause of nosebleeds. Said the three months I was granted permission to take tramadol the nosebleeds went away. I’m thinking he may be right.
I don’t see how the gabapentin is helping at all. There’s gotta be a combo of natural remedies that will reduce nerve pain.
As we observe this Thanksgiving day, let us not only remember the Pilgrims who made the treacherous journey seeking to find a new home in order to worship freely, but also remember to thank God for His many blessings in our lives. May we count them one by one that we may remember what He has done!
5am woke from horrible nightmare I don’t want to remember to abdomen spasming & cramping bad. It hurt so bad it hurt to move and emotionally I just want to cry.
6.30 Whole body aches. Kept reliving nightmares after I fell asleep. Why is my brain bringing that situation back up again? I’ve dealt with it, had counseling for it, and have forgiven my trespassers. Is my brain trying to relieve trauma suppressed in muscles to memory where it won’t hurt anymore?
12pm spent morning writing excuse request for jury duty due to current medical and mental issues, making phone call to check on something, washed two loads, & put dinner in crockpot – I am exhausted. In need of a nap. Whole body aches. Temp was about 60ish when I got up.
6pm took kids to bank and store. Glad they had wheelchairs at store. Kids helped me do little grocery shopping. By time we got home, I was really hurting and exhausted. Kids helped bring groceries in and put some of them away. Thankful I had put dinner in crockpot this morning.
Center of chest throbbing. Whole body aches. Sipped some peppermint tea so hopefully, that’ll help ease the pain and woo me to sleep. Can’t take any more Ibuprofuen bc I took my limit today. (I hope I’m using right emojis…certainly don’t want to say something I didn’t mean to. Is there a dictionary on emojis the wonder?? Pushed through some of my pt exercises. Tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness about six” up from ankle down to foot on lower left leg. Headsche. Muscles spasming in upper lft leg. Low back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Throbbing pulsating pain in rt foot. Rt jaw aches.
Nov 5
3.30a woke from nightmare. I was being attacked. My body feels like I was beat up badly. I almost fell out of bed too.
5.00 must have been moaning in my sleep. Joe asked if I was okay. Told him I had bad dream. He came and laid down near me, hugged me, and kissed me several times. So sweet. Helped me feel safe again.
10.30 TBI mtg. Had mtg with Ron & Theresa to catch them up on what’s been going on. Encouraged me to change atty. Need to find Dr to work with me. Could’ve had a stroke being off bp rx like that for two weeks. Not safe. Ron going to work on getting set up for an actual neuro testing for TBI. Teresa going to reach out to local organization that may have some $ to help me get copies of my medical records.
Nov 6
6.30 rough night. Trouble falling asleep then wake up every couple hours. Whole body aches.
8.00 decided to make stew for dinner. Trying to use up items in freezer to prepare for new deer meat. Didn’t label bag not sure if it’s pork or deer bones. Arms hurting from prepping veggies. Need to leave for co-op soon. Taking pain rx to last.
11.20 hands, arms, low back throbbing from washing few dishes from last class. I’m exhausted too. Jordon misplaced my key fab. Ugh!
3.30 decided to make pumpkin cookies. Had to ask for help. Got cookies dropped on sheet and realized I forgot to add sugar. Ugh! Think I need to stop and rest my brain and aching body a while.
10.00 kids helped me process carved pumpkin we were given today. From cutting into chunks, to baking, to peeling off skin, to cutting in pieces, to pureeing, to putting in bags for freezing. It took about 3 hours. We got about 20 cups of pumpkin puree. Thankful for their help. Couldn’t have done it without them. I’m exhausted and hurting, but feel accomplished. Looking forward to the pumpkin goodies to be made in future. Also, trying to dehydrate some of puree to make pumpkin powder. We shall see. I hope my muscle and body don’t regret extra work tomorrow. I hurt from head to toe.
7.00 woke several times from nightmares in the night. My whole body hurts!!! Eyes watering. They seemed so real!
8.00 Woah! It’s cold outside in November -38°! My bones hurt. It hurts to move.
5.55 stomach has been hurting all day. Back’s been stinging for bit now. Chest hurtz. Hands swollen and achy.
Managed to use bread machine to make pizza crusts for homemade pizza tonight. Wanted to do more today but its hard to push thru the pain sometimes
9.00 back pain has increased exponentially!!! I’ve barely been able to move. Stomach severly bloated. Periodic sharp pain lower lft abdomen.
10.00 Joe helped me to bed. Daughter asked if pain level was a 20. Told her by Dr scales it couldn’t be a 10 bc I’m not asking to go to ER. She chuckled and said that’s funny bc you’d never ask to go to ER. (I wasn’t being funny). Told her by Dr’s scales it’s probably a 9. She then made comment that she could tell I felt bloated bc she could see it even under the covers.
I’m hoping that’s its bad case of constipation rather than I did too much today. Either way I think a cup of chammomile tea sounds good about now. Maybe I can drink my way to better health thru herbal teas.
Woke not hurting as bad as last night but still pretty bad. Whole body hurts. As long as I don’t move much center of chest & back pain is medium.
8.00a family went to yard sale before visitation. I really wanted to go but couldn’t force myself to go. Knew it’d be better to rest up for church tomorrow.
9.00 ate 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast & glass water. Gave me indigestion. Ugh!
Thinking combination of new exercises, doing little much, and cold weather aggravated costocondritis again. May neex to do Ibuprofuen regimen again.
10.50p taste buds off tonight. Sleepytime tea tastes disgusting to me. Only able to get down half cup. Head pounding. Whole body aches. Center of chest sharp pains if I move wrong otherwise throbbing thru to back. Legs ache. Muscles randomly twitching in legs. Feet cold. Neck throbbing. Turn radius small – shooting sharp stabbing pain in body if turn neck too far.
Nov 3
6.30 woke thinking I overslept. Had several nightmares – all of the ones I can remember parts of I thought I saw someone I knew but when started towards I couldn’t find him. On a horse farm riding horse in one; in a quaint small town near downtown in another.
Whole body aches and I have headache. Chest sore. Took Ibuprofuen 800mg. Gotta kick out the costo so don’t have to do steroids. Dropped on of extra pt exercises last night hoping that’ll help too.
7.30 decided to eat oatmeal for breakfast. Need more fiber.
8.00 trying to get ready and I’m wearing out quickly but I don’t have time to rest in order to be on time. Need to remember to set my alarm. Bp 119/78 hr 87
9.30 A headache I do have. My right hip is starting to hurt more.
7.50 My rt hip is throbbing with pain shooting down to foot. Ugh!
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Happy Monday! I can hardly believe it’s Thanksgiving week!!
I apologize for the lateness of this post. I accidentally popped my left arm out of place over the weekend and was in excruciating pain. I got sidetracked trying to get an appointment with my chiropractor.
Thankfully, my chiropractor was willing to fit me in this morning to get this taken care of. I am now ordered to take it easy over the next several days to allow my shoulder time to heal. Then I will start exercises as I am able to strengthen the muscles and ligaments to prevent any more dislocations or subluxations in the future. I am looking forward to spending time with family.
This week’s devo is “How Well Do You Know Ed?” written by Jan Neill!
Please take the time to read as she wants to encourage US today! I hope that you have an absolutely amazing week!!!
How Well Do You Know Ed? – Jan Neill
In Joshua we find that the 2 ½ tribes of Israel had completed the task of fighting with the other tribes to subdue the land- and were returning to ‘their’ side of Jordon. Not the Promised Land God had provided but their choice (whole new discussion on this one- later) but where they asked to stay.
Upon crossing over they stopped to build an alter for reflection, and remembrance. Joshua 22:34 And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad called the altar Ed: for it shall be a witness between us that the LORD is God.
I don’t know about you, but I often can be caught in the “God answers prayer for the deserving, staff, preachers, pastors wives, … and on it goes, but He isn’t as interested in my, my life, my needs as those IMPORTANT People, the Bible College crowd,.etc. (insert lie of the Devil that is whispered in your ear.)
We all need more ED… we need to make memorials, alters and remembrances of WHEN GOD did more than meet our needs, wants , and how He made ways we cannot see. In this world we are so bombarded with all the reasons that God, cant- won’t – or could use as reasons to NOT hear and care for His children. Our children, and grandchildren will live in a world that will continue to challenge who God is and that He is sovereign, mighty, holy, loving… all the attributes we KNOW about God, but can easily forget when the blows and challenges of the world constantly beat us up.
Who / what are the Ed’s in your life that when hard times come, and it seems the answers you pray for are delayed, that you can look to and remember .. several years ago after having been diagnosed with stage 2 type 2 melanoma, I can still tell you to this day the spot on the freeway where I surrendered my will to God for my health, and successful treatment and surgery, I can tell of begging God to save my then lost husband and provide me a Godly mate and a Christian home, and on and on the list goes.
We have a new member of the family this year and as I’m thinking of pulling out old pictures to share with her to show her the family, our history, who these people were that are so important to our history and who made a difference, as we move toward Thanksgiving and thinking about being thankful, grateful and blessed…. Perhaps it’s a great time to reflect on Ed, and maybe even share with our families the alters that God has made for and with us… ”That in times to come these shall not be forgotten.”
Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
What a glorious assurance that He who was willing to sacrifice His life for mine will have my best interest at heart. Thus, I must learn to trust that whatever He allows to come into my life will purposefully work out for His glory and my good.
Having this knowledge should spur us to be kind, be strong, and stand courageously against the wiles of the evil one. This should also encourage our faith and hope that God’s ways are perfect.
7.00 woke from nightmare to headache, calves cramping, and muscles twitching randomly in body. Whole body aches and stiff. Eyes watering.
7.28 still laying in bed reading my Bible chilling burning sensation in center of chest
8.00 doing morning pt exercises. Lft shoulder back area cramping. Ugh! Hurts to move. Very tired.
11.00 PT today. Blair checked out some of my exercises to see how I’m doing. Entire back from neck down is very tight. Adjusting exercises. Need to wake up core muscles to get them strong again. Back muscles very tight in neck and shoulders area and tight down spine.
Tara checked my vestibular system. Blair asked to give brief background and what going on with dizziness.
Tara said she could see my eyes skipping in exercises she asked me to do. Amazing that she could see when my peripheral vision got blurry.
Tara suggested I seek out a neurooptimologist. They specialize in vision problems. This helped to validate some of issues I’m having. Blair said this type of Dr would be good to have on my team.
7.00p- reclining in chair in livingroom using heating pad. Back muscles cramping and stinging. Need to relax them.
9.00 wore out from today. Going to bed early.
9.30 indigestion kicks in ugh! Muscles randomly twitching thru body. Sinuses congested. Hands throbbing. Butt hurting. Low back throbbing. Shoulders and neck tight and throbbing.
Oct 29
12.00 still wide awake. Whole body hurts. Pain rx not touching it. Taking muscle relaxer. Think I’ll take a benadryl instead.
7.30 Joe & Jordon cooked dinner for me. Dezirae made cheese cake for dessert. Yum!
8.30 drinking sleepytime tea with heating pad on back.
9.15 Crashed in chase lounge for 30 minutes shortly after drinking tea. Guess I was more tired than I thought
10.00 whole body hurts!! Rt ear aches. Hurts to move. It’s been raining off an on all day.
Tweaked PT VOR exercises are making headache worse.
11.00 muscles thru body stinging. Pain rx and melatonin taken. Hope to fall asleep soon so I don’t feel the pain.
Oct 30
7.30 oh, my body hurts!!! I don’t want to get up. Muscles randomly twitching in legs. Cramping in rt side. Rt hip throbbing.
Gotta figure out how to overcome the nightmares just about every night.
It’s most likely spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12.
8.00 it’s raining and cold front is on its way. No wonder I’m hurting. Gotta push thru as I can.
Matthew 5:16 – Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
As Christians, we are to be salt and light in this world. As salt, we are to seek to influence others with our lives showing Christ’s unconditional love. As light, we are to be witnesses concerning the truth of the Gospel.
Salt works internally while light works externally, affecting everything they reach. Hence, our lives should exemplify Christ both spiritually and physically with all with whom we come into contact.
May our lives influence others in such a way that it draws them to Christ. Praying you have a dynamic day!🍁
Happy November 15th! Can you believe next week is Thanksgiving??? I love this time of year! This week’s devo is “What Do You Believe?” written by Julie Myers! Please take the time to read as she shares with us this week! I hope that you have an awesome week!!!
What Do You Believe? – Julie Myers
John 11:18-26,38-44
What do you believe? Not just what you think you believe or what you say you believe. What do you believe in your heart about Christ?
This story is one that hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been struggling in conversations with a friend who had decided that God wasn’t for her anymore. She had a lot to say about everything that was going on in the government and with the pandemic. Though, I had noticed her behavior coming up to this confrontation, it seemed like she wasn’t living as she believed it for a long time. It began with head knowledge and never seeped into her heart.
John 11:23-27 Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again. Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? She saith unto him, Yea Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.
If you read these words at a glance, you would think that she agreed with Him. Look closely though. She did not agree with what He said He was, she agreed with what she thought He was.
This is our struggle. This is a real thing. WE put it in our heads what we think He is saying instead of reading the words and meditating and believing. We move forward with our heads in our Christian walk instead of it manifesting in our hearts and then when things do not work out the way we believe they should (our perception or expectation fails) we doubt God’s goodness.
John 11:38-39 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.
Jesus knows what He is going to do. He knows what He is capable of and though Martha is right there in the presence of the Lord her gaze is not on Him it is on the physical things of this world. Her words betray her thoughts. The physical death of her brother and even the smell are her focus. They are very real things yes but they are the things of this world, not the things of eternity and the miracles of God.
Though in verse 40 Jesus says to her Said I not unto thee, that if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
He gently reminds her that she has to believe to be able to see it. Not just in her head but in her heart. And though we continue to doubt and forget, our God is still good and still providing though we are not looking at it and watching for it. Do we believe it?
John 11:41-44 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. And when he thus had spoken, He cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with gravesclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
Jesus even says in His prayer to the Father – He knows His Father hears Him always but because of the people who are standing by He said it so that they would believe. Even with Martha, though she was caught up in the here and now, in today’s moments and drudgeries- He showed her a miracle still.
I don’t know if Martha ever saw the miracle through the circumstances of her “now’s.: She isn’t mentioned past this passage. I do know that my friend –‘my Martha’ – gained a new view and started looking for them.
6.00a woke to migraine! eyes throbbing, brain feels swollen like its going to pop out of my head!!! Took bp 151/99 hr 64. Took Tylenol and Edarbyclor. My bp needs to come down now. This is ridiculous. Eyes crying from pain.
6.30 Joe rubbing my neck, head, & shoulders to relax the muscles. Feels good.
7.00 migraine eased from 10 to 8 but pain is still pounding. Eye throbbing. Took relpax. Migraines can be debilitating. Ugh!
7.30 Joe sweet. Made me breakfastin bed. Two egg biscuits with provolone. I’m not hungry but I ate them anyways. I’m loved❤
8.00 I feel aweful. Joe told me I had to stay in bed all day. Normally I would contest but I don’t even have energy to. Think I’ll take a nap.
10.00 feel worse than before. Head pounding!!! Bp 158/108 head hurts to lie down anymore
2.00 soaking in Epsom Salt bath for while. Don’t feel any better but at least I’m clean 😊
2.32p Dr agreed to let me resume taking the Edarbyclor for my blood pressure. Thank the Lord! Hopefully it’ll come down soon so I can start feeling better.
3:00 muscles randomly twitching in legs
5.00 a friend so kindly brought dinner for us tonight. It worked out wonderful for us. Never heard of Cowboy Grub before, but it was delicious.
11.45p trouble falling asleep. Bad headache but not migraine as previous in day Neck hurts. Hands ache. Rt arm aching. Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down rt leg. Low back throbbing. Lower left leg tourniquit tighten feeling. Feet tingling. Muscles feel stiff and ache.
Severe thunderstorms today. Ended up with two separate tornado warnings for our area. One actually touched down amd did damage north of us. Skin feels like its crawling periodically. Unnerving. Calves cramping. Wish I could find something naturally effective to wipe out the headaches for good. Bloated and gasy. Rt side cramping
Oct 26
7.00 woke to pounding headache. Hurts to lift head. Whole body aches.
8.00 Joe sweet decided to make pancakes for breakfast. Took am meds. Decided to make cup of decaf coffee w almond milk.
10.00 bp 139/93 hr 65
10.20 conversation with son. Son asked opinion. Dad gives opinion. Son expressed his having trouble with opinion. I told son to “Wipe your sleeves off your feelings” instead of “Wipe your feelings of your sleeves”. Lol!
12.15 starting to remember more things about past. It’s almost like I’m coming out of an episode of amnesia or something. It’d be great to be able to regain old memories. I feel sometimes like I lost a lot of things.
3.00 Joe took us to cbc fall festival towards end so there wouldn’t be as many people. Able to visit with few friends. Nice to be out of house for change. Got 2 pumkins given to us. Yay! Get to make homemade pumkpin pie for Thanksgiving.
10.00 heading pounding again. Of course, that probably comes from taking rest of evening to do bulletin. Had to ask Dezirae to help finish them. Thankful she likes helping me and wanting to learn things I do.
Neck muscles and upper shoulders tight and throbbing. Hands ache. Low back & rt hip aches. Feeling some better than yday. At least bp going in rt direction now. Legs ache. Muscles randomly twitching thru body. Feet hurt.
Oct 27
7.00 whole body aches. Strange dreams. Woken before I could finish…might be a good thing as weird as it was. Head hurts
7.30 decided to eat hard boiled egg for breakfast. Ended up choking on it and having sharp chest pain making me stop in tracts. Oh, that hurts!!!
8.00 Bp 128/82 hr 65 Headache worsening. Took pain rx. Need to find something that actually works. Morning meds taken.
9.53 I’m exhausted. I could use a nap. Eyes hurt. Head hurts.
12.48 feel like I’m going to crash. Need to lay down a bit. Nerves tingling all over body. Vertigo acting up. Headache.
1.20 neck popped and now I have tingling sensation in my lft ear
3.00 tingling in ear lasted bout half hour. Only slept bout thirty minutes.
5.00 worked on love for little bit. Headache. Rt hip throbbing.
6.00 brain hurts and vision blurred. Messed up playing hymn…stopped before I was supposed to…thought we finished. Oops. Hard to follow where we’re at in song. Next song I almost played too many verses. It’s virtually impossible presently for me to see keys, notes, and song leader at same time. Then there’s my hands not playing keys my brain thinks it should be.
9.30 frustrated bc I’m struggling to plan meals like I used to, I’m upset at myself bc I can’t remember what a traditional Thanksgiving dinner is suppose to consist of let alone plan one for church (at least I have last yrs sign up sheet saved on computer – but I don’t think that’s even right), my mom is telling my story and is messing it up. I’m just in bad mood and everything’s rubbing me wrong way.
10.00 having bad moment and bad attitude where I don’t feel adequate. Started trying to read book. I’m in middle of second chapter and I can’t even remember what I’ve read. Ugh! The only thing that has stuck is Psalm 61:2 and that’s because I have read that verse multiple times to myself (preaching to the choir) about leaning on the Rock when I’m overwhelmed.
Oddly enough the second chapter of book is titled “Admit That You Are Stuck and Struggling”. Oh, I admit that in a heart beat. I’m stuck in my short term memory and don’t know how to fix it. I’m struggling with balancing everything and trying to figure out how to relearn things and adapt to my new self.
Thankful the Lord has brought me thus far and has protected me. There’s been plenty of times I could of and probably should have had a heart attack or stroke since lightning strike especially with the blood pressure issue.
Lord, please help me to learn to adapt to the new me and overcome where I can. Help me to be a vessel of honor leading others to You even in my valley.
11.45 headache. Neck throbbing. Shoulders and upper back throbbing. Lower back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Legs ache. Hands swollen and achy. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some tingling. Burning tingling pain in center of chest. Very tired but brain not slowing down. Pm pt exercises. Nerves in lft hand and back stinging.
