Category: My Healing Journey

Nov 10

700a woke up late. Thought for sure I set my alarm but I either hit snooze too much or didn’t set it. Ugh. Made sure I read my daily passage but will have to do my quiet time later.

800 said prayer before heading to dentist. Have to go on highway to downtown. I do not like driving the interstate. I avoid it if at all possible.

930 Dentist appts went well. Kids both have cavities. Jordon actually had several filled today. Dr & staff very friendly and put all our minds at ease. Dezirae even likes this dentist better. Thank you, Lord.

145 Dr appts went well. I’m flat exhausted. No energy at all.

400 crashed in chair in livingroom but feel like I’m about to crash again. No energy.

Dezirae made dinner. She wants me to teach her to make a pumpkin pie from scratch. Words that pleases this mom’s heart.

700 Ladies Mtg went well. Only two other ladies showed up. At least I’m not teaching myself. Challenged them to invite another lady next month plus we’ll do a Christmas cookie exchange.

 

Sinuses congested. Feels like hayfever or sinusitis. Skin itches and nerves feel like they’re crawling. Headache. Neck hurts. Eyes sensitive to lights. Back throbbing. Low rt back burning. Legs throbbing. Hands stinging throbbing. Feet stinging needle pain throbbing with tingling. Exhausted but awake.

Night meds & pain rx taken.

Nov 11

800 started cooking scrambled eggs on stove. Went to look for something in pantry (don’t remember what) Found something in pantry that should be somewhere else. Went to put it away. Found myself straightening in my room. Smelled the eggs cooking and realized I forgot them. Back to kitchen to find them in omelette form and ready to flip. I couldn’t do that intentionally when I try. At least I didn’t burn them.

900 bills paid for 1st half of month.

1000 decided to work on straightening boys room some while Dezirae works on math.

323 can’t push anymore..gonna crash for whole. Whole body hurts. Back sting chilling burning in middle. Hands and wrists stinging. Neck hurts. Light rain off and on today.

436 Joe called to let me know he was on way home. Scared me awake…scared me anyways. Trouble waking. Need to start dinner. I could sleep longer soo tired.

530 didn’t do so hot on dinner. I tried my best but it was mediocre. Families comments hurt my feelings. I know my feelings on my sleeves rather than lash out I chose to go pout outside on bench side of house. Needed to be alone. Felt like crying but was too tired to. I get easily emotional when I’m beyond exhausted. Cried in my heart to God telling Him my woes.

After a bit family came looking for me. Joe talked with me a bit. Joe thought it was funny I went outside to pout.

Little while longer went back inside. It was muggy outside anyways. Kids apologized. Told them I thought it better to go pout by myself than make a scene.  I just need a good night’s sleep and a lot of rest.

Whole body hurts. Hands and wrists swollen and throbbing. Trouble thinking straight. Headache. Rt ear itches inside. Skin prickly stings in some places (hands, face, butt, thighs). Joe’s arm feels like lead ballon, but I need his touch. Legs ache. Feet hurt and tingle sting.

 

Oct 30

730 woke from strange perplexing dream.  Whole body throbbing. Torso stinging. Arms tingly. Slight headache. Center of chest hurts like I pulled a muscle lifting too much.  Feet are chilly but rest of body hot.

815 The best way to warm your heart on a dreary day is to tuck memory verses in the corners of your heart .

845 kava is natural remedy for anxiety?

https://bebrainfit.com/kava-anxiety/

1000 I’m totally stressing over what documentation is needed for Jordon’s driving test today.

1128 Joe went to cook brunch for us but discovered that our stove isn’t working. Ugh!  At least we have instapot, crockpot, & grill to use.

1200p called pc repair shop to check on laptop. They haven’t gotten the part in yet. Ugh!

130 Joe texts me to let me know bc of covid the DMV won’t let parents inside bldg for the registration process. What!? He’s a minor that’s horribly wrong. I knew he’d take the driver test by himself but parent not be allowed in bldg. That’s wrong!!!

Then he informs me he’s suppose to Lysol his car down before taking test. You can’t even find Lysol spray on store shelves right now. This is ridiculous.

400p Chuck came over to check our stove. Discovered that outside breaker was killed during power surge…only producing 110watt instead of 220. Guys going to Lowe’s to get new breaker thing (mind went blank) to change it out.

500 This day is such a blurb. Nerves are telling me they’re stressed out. Need to lay down a piece.

800 decided to try the Lyrica to see how I react to the medicine & hope it helps. I’d much rather go natural route, bit I’m also tired of hurting all the time.

Hiccuping and burping periodically thru day. Three bms this morning.

Exhausted. Pins & needles sensation from bottom of neck to toes. Hands throbbing. Congestion off and on most of day. Mixing up of words & sayings.

I.e. one little two little three little Indians…now hear the word of the Lord. Can’t remember the other ones but kids gave me lots of weird looks then did you mean ….?

1136 exhausted. Dosed off while praying and jerked awake. Hot in part of body but cold in feet and toes. Headache. Skin itches. Chest aches.

 

Oct 31

730 had set alarm to take second lyrica pill. Fell quickly back to sleep.

930 can’t believe I slept this long. Stinging needle pain has eased. Whole body aches. Entire back burning throbbing. Sat up in bed and got very dizzy. Room feels like it’s spinning…not good. I cant take this drug. Ugh! Left hand tingling like it’s waking from sleep.

1000 Joe informs me that I was mean in middle of night to him. Said he rolled over to get close to me and rub my back but I yelled at him to stay on his own side. He asked what he did wrong. I didn’t answer. He asked again. I replied I’m hurting then rolled over and fell back to sleep. All I could do was laugh at what he told me.

Told him I couldn’t take the Lyrica bc it’s making me really dizzy, but the stinging needle pain has eased. He replied well you have to decide which one you’d rather have. I told him neither.

Joe got up and gave me two ginger pills to combat the dizziness.

1020 the cat jump up on my bed and laid in my lap and started purring for me to let her. She sat there for couple minutes then was done.

My eyes feel cross eyed.

530 craving stuffing and I don’t like stuffing. Weird. Wonder what my body is trying to tell me.

Carb cravings can be a sign you’re low in the amino acid tryptophan.

‘The body needs this to synthesise the mood-regulating brain chemical serotonin,’ explains Dr Lowe.

‘A lack of it can lead to low mood, anxiety and problems sleeping.

TRY: Upping your protein intake may help curb your carb cravings — and improve your mood.

Good sources of tryptophan include turkey, milk, eggs, cashews, walnuts, cottage cheese and bananas.

730 decided to take a bath. Concerned I may fall if I try a shower. Boy, what a work out. Took me 30+ minutes and now I’m exhausted.

All the movies Joe’s picked out today are annoying me something fierce and they don’t usually bother me. Still not feeling myself…dizzy and uneasy feeling. Stinging nerve pain is intensifying. Out of breath and need to rest

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2721369/What-choccy-cravings-trying-tell-not-mention-yearning-cheese-meat-rice.html

Dizzy most of day.

1130 p exhausted. Chest & arms hurt from try to clean tub before my bath. Still trying to catch my breath all the way. Hands achy and swollen. Low back throbbing. Legs ache. Lower lft leg tourniquet tightening feeling with numbness & tingling to toes. Congested.

Managed to make chocolate chip muffins. Having homemade bisquick mix helps a bunch. Feet pain pulsating. Headache. Random periodic spasming in legs. Neck hurts.

 

Oct 28

12:15 still awake. Trouble getting comfortable. Legs restless. I’m almost to point of crying.

Three things I’m thankful for…1. My family, 2. God’s Holy Word, 3. God’s unconditional love.

745 head pounding. Body freezing. Getting under covers to warm up. Tired.

800 research if you & body temperature irregulation can be related. Yes it can – due to damage to hypothalamus dysfunction.

Found a brain injury blog

https://www.brainline.org/story/hidden-secret-brain-injury-hypothalamus-dysfunction

*caution there is much foul language which I don’t like.

An egg is one of two perfect foods; it has all the essential amino acids and all the essential fatty acids that our bodies can’t synthesize but require for good functioning and repair plus the latter are needed by the skin for elasticity and moisture. Drink ice water; suck on ice. I tend to push myself, but the fatigue from the brain injury often managed to stop me cold. Pain hurts; fatigue incapacitates.

Note to self: research hypothalamus function & parasympathetic function (these ring bells but not certain why)

825 eating two eggs with red pepper flakes in am to jump start metabolism.

It took 30+ minutes for me to warm up enough to escape the covers. Feet still cold & I feel a bit chilly. Putting on socks.

900 need to work on Dezirae’s grades today. Washed one load of clothes. Bleaching the ring around the tub. Goal today is begin cleaning bathroom. It’s filthy to me. Refilled foam soap dispensers in house & put thieves oil for disinfection.

400 very lethargic feeling and in much pain. Hurricane Zeta about to pound our area tonight. Need a nap.

615 crashed for almost two hours. Woke in time to make dinner. Feel like I could sleep longer. Pain from head to toes.

830 lights flickered

851 stranger yet…lights flickered and half of power went out. Stayed off for about 15 minutes then came back on except window A/C in livingroom.

906

I do not like storms Sam-I-Am.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

Why? It causes changes in the barometric pressure.

This in turn causes me extreme pain and fatigue more than I deal with on a normal basis.

While I’m not in favor of the extra pain, I do thank God for the pain because it reminds me that I’m still alive and God has a purpose to everything under the sun .

Praying all my friends and family stay safe during Hurricane Zeta

1030 suddenly extremely hot and clammy feeling. whole body stings in pain. Low back throbbing. Hands throbbing. Skin itches. Toes tingly. Chest center hurts. Shoulders hurt. Ears hurt. Rt ear ringing.

Drank cup of sleepy time tea. Took night meds plus vitamins. Took naproxen & Tylenol.

 

Oct 29

750a tossed and turned a lot last night. Strange dreams, but slept hard when I did sleep.

Whole body stiff and hurting. Entire back stings. Hands, arms, and legs tingly. Slight headache. Tummy hurts.

Power flashed a few times during Hurricane Zeta but we still have power this morning. Praise the Lord.  Lots of debris all over yard.

1000 decided to work on my blog for little bit.

1215 my parents invited us over for lunch. Sweet.

124 forgot to take morning med/vitamins and I can tell. I’m dragging. Took meds/vitamins. Laying down to rest little while.

200 feeling hot again. Jordon says skin feels clammy.

324 feeling nauceous. Sucking on ginger chew

1145 tired in pain. Headache. Neck hurts. Back hurts. Hands and arms tingling. Hands throbbing. Legs ache & burn.

 

Oct 25

111 finally finished printing the bulletins. Chicken & potatoes in crockpot. My back is killing me in pain. Bad headache. Pm meds taken. Pain med taken. I hurt from head to toe. Rt eye twitching. Hands throbbing. Center of chest throbbing.

650 woke from odd dream with song on mind that I haven’t heard in years. Yet when I woke completely it disappeared from mind. Can’t remember it no matter how hard I try.

Bad headache. Grumpy, angry mood. Whole body aches but no as bad as previous few days. Headache worsening. Took naproxen

1100 head still pounding. Need to find waterproof mascara. My eyes water off half my mascara before getting to church.

100 lunch is delicious. Mark came for lunch and afternoon service. Brought banana bread as a thank you. Church gave Joe gift card to field & stream. Talina sang special song for pastors.

200 I’m exhausted. Brain fog setting in. Kept losing my place playing piano and messing up horribly. Brain swirling. Headache. Body aches.

930 exhausted from the day. Whole body hurts. Skin feels like it wants to explode. Lord please help me get some restful sleep tonight. Low back & rt hip throbbing immensely. Toes tingly. Night meds & naproxen taken. Tummy doesn’t feel as bloated as before. Been trying to stay away from gluten and excess sugars some. Ringworm gone but left scars on neck and lft forearm. Using oils to help diminish the scarring.

 

Oct 26

230a woke from strange dream in a sweat as if I broke a fever. Trouble with balance & stumbled to the bathroom. Drank some water.

500a woke from strange dream. Ache from head to toes.

625 skimming thru FB after posting scripture for day. Come across someone asking for advise regarding sister with concussion…she asked if B3 will help…

*Omega 3 – 3 times a day

*Anti-inflammatory diet

*Biogentical Progesterone Cream

* Cerecomp by Heel

“It will be of great benefit IF you take B3 in the form of flush Niacin AKA Nicotinic Acid.

The flush is a very minor factor when you are dealing with brain health.

In fact the vasodilation from flush Niacin opens blood vessels (yes in the brain as well ) and this brings in oxygen and nutrients we hiked carry away inflammation.

The more and higher the daily dose – the greater the benefits.

I hope this helps.” James Kelly

 

“A great way to reduce inflammation and accelerate healing is by Vitamin C IV (intravenously) because it’s the only way to reach such high concentrations. Also, Glutathione is often used to improve athletic performance and recovery. I recently tried 25g of vitamin c iv and glutathione (dont remember the dose). In Toronto we have a company that offers a nurse to come to your house with everything required. I recommend you look into this. It cannot do harm. But at doses of Vitamin C IV greater than 6g you need to know if the person has a very rare G6PD enzyme deficiency. These people are generally not advised to inject more than 6g/day due to risk of hemolysis (rupturing of red blood cells). Again, this is an extremely rare condition and usually people who have it know.” Dmitry Zhivo

 

Vitamin E is another antioxidant. It is “a potent reactive oxygen species scavenger, which has the potential to reduce oxidative damage encountered after traumatic brain injury (TBI)”. -Dmitry Zhivo

Books suggested:

Concussions Rescue – about TBI and neuro nutrients recommendations

The Brains Way of Healing

Brain hurt after reading all that. Must rest.

845 fell back to sleep. I could sleep longer. I’m so tired.

Arms and hands hurt and tingling. Back hurts. Legs ache. Feet tingly. Whole body sore and tight feeling. Need to stretch or something.

Positive: when I put my t-shirt on this morning it wasn’t tight around tummy. Usually have to try to stretch some so it’s not snug.

955 attempting to prep dinner for crockpot. Low back throbbing horribly. Need to sit a while.

Easily irritated. Grumpy. Not sure why either.

100 that moment when visiting with a friend you use the restroom and flush toilet but didn’t realize that her washer water had backed up in tub and toilet ends up overflowing. At my best attempt to plung said toilet I hurt my back while standing in yucky water. Trying my best to hold it together and clean the mess up. Too much for my body to handle! Oh my body is throbbing especially my back. I feel disgusting. Ugh!

530 Joe & Jordon run to church to work on fixing the roof. Hurricane Zeta heading our way on Wednesday. I’m so over the storms this year. Taking a rest break while they’re gone. My body is throbbing from head to toe.

843 recvd email…History made tonight – Judge Amy Barrett confirmed tonight. Making her the third Supreme Court Justice nominated by President Trump.

1030 drinking sleepy time tea before bed. Hoping it’ll help me fall asleep quicker. Took naproxen. I hurt horribly from head to toe.

Headache. Neck hurts. Rt inner ear hurts. Shoulders ache. Upper back stings. Arms ache. Hands swollen and throbbing. Low back & rt hip throbbing. Skin itchy. Legs ache. Lower left leg tourniquet tightening feeling – same feeling on lower rt leg as well. Feet and toes tingling. Neck has popped several times today. Headache worsens.

 

Oct 27

730 woke from strange dreams to intense stinging pain through body. Whole body stiff and hurting. Hurts to move. Stuffy & congested. Tummy hurts.

800 change sheets. Dezirae helped me finish. Low back throbbing intensely. Ears ringing. Bottom of rt foot feels like glass impaled an inch about inch from dog bite scar. Headache. Skin sensitive.

Check pain in foot. Nothing there.

330 just finished figuring Jordon’s grades for 1st qtr. Head pounding. Exhausted. Feet getting cold. Muscles randomly spasming thru body.

349 fell asleep in chair for five minutes. Decided to go lay down. Tingling sensation in brain.

630 Tears are the way we speak when our lips don’t know what to speak when our hearts are filled with pain we don’t know how to bear. Tears are a language. God understands.

1000 going to bed. I hurt horribly. Taking night meds, pain rx, & drinking sleepy time tea. Prayerfully I’ll fall asleep soon.

Whole body stinging. Headache. Ears ache. Neck hurts. Entire back stinging throbbing. Hands and wrists swollen and throbbing. Arms ache. Elbows hurt. Skin itches and is easily irritated. Chest throbbing. Low back hurts. Rt hip hurts. Legs throb. Lower lft leg tourniquet tightening feeling. Numbness & tingling in both ankles and feet. This much pain cannot be ignored and cause lack of sleep. Feet cold.

Oct 22

530 woke to nerves burning and pulsating in left arm and hand. Tired.

650 tummy hurts. Much mucus. Whole body aches horribly. Strange dreams but think I slept some last night – at least better than I have been.

Trouble waking up. Chest feels tight. Headache. Arms ache. Sharp pain in rt foot when I stand that shoots up leg. Glad Joe told me to take it easy bc I’d probably be hurting worse if I hadn’t.

900 tummy hurts something aweful. Thought it was bc I might need to eat something. Not – it hurts just as bad. Arms and back ache as though I worked out 90 minutes or more.

915 stinging pain begins. Second load of wash in laundry. First load on line drying. My goal is trying to stay caught up on laundry (2 loads daily) – as long as washer cooperates. Using it until we can afford to buy new one.

Was going to try to work on my blog today but my computer died yday. Think it’s the plug. Ordered new one…waiting for it to arrive.

920 feeling nauceous. Sucking on ginger chew and laying down for a while. Let Jordon know.

1030 little over an hour and my tummy feels better.

230 two loads clothes folded. My arms & chest are throbbing. Exhausted. Having Dezirae take the other clothes off line and fluffing in dryer. I need to lay down to rest a bit.

300 still hurting pretty bad. Decided to pick up dinner on way to church.

415 running late. Traffic backed up everywhere…4 bad accidents on highway diverting traffic alternate route. Stresses me out.

445 drive thru speaker messing up. Girl can’t understand what I’m saying. Whew! For moment thought I wasn’t saying it right.

700p asked Joe not to play tonight. Got dizzy during singing had to hold onto the pew for stability. Headache. Hurt from head to toe.

930 just about to doze off and Jakob called Spoke with for few minutes. Doing extra shift and getting bonus for it.

Nerves sting thru body. Chest throbbing. Hands throbbing.

 

Oct 23

730 woke exhausted from bad dream. Don’t remember any details but that I was trying to escape for my life.

Spent a little longer in my Bible reading and praying to calm my spirit.

Scales say I lost 3 lbs this week. Yay!

1030 Jordon asked to cook dinner for me tonight. Jordon cooked steak and baked beans. Dezirae cooked the asparagus and garlic bread. It was delicious.

Decided to paint my toenails after dinner. It was a bit challenging but I did it. Chest hurting now. Ugh!

Moderate pain day. Sinus congestion. Watery eyes. Headache. Neck hurts. Hands ache. Low back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Arms ache. Legs ache. Lower lft leg burning ring just above ankle. Toes tingle and burn. Chest center aches. Tongue tied – trouble saying what I’m thinking. Angry. Easily irritated. Upper back stings. Tired. Easily fatigued.

 

Oct 24

720a in much pain!! I just want to cry . Very rough night. Very little sleep. Rt calf cramping and spasming with Charlie horse pain. Next came cramping & spasming in mid section. Chest hurts horribly with mild icy sensation and burning pain around edges. Hands throbbing. Bad headache. Sinuses congested. What sleep I did have was filled with bad dreams. Please let me get some restful sleep.

I don’t understand bc I purposefully read scripture before falling asleep.

Hands numb and tingly. Hurts to move.

830 Joe sweetly decided to make a nerve pain rub to help ease my pain. He decided to try on my foot first then as it worked decided to rub and massage into both my calves. Thinks I’m having flair up bc of the bad weather coming today.

1030 the pain rub helped ease pain enough to allow me to fall asleep for about an hour and half. Calves still hurt bad but I’m at least able to walk some.

1115 sitting on couch I hear rumbling noises. Decide to listen intently to hear where they’re coming from. They’re coming from my belly!

Oct 19

129 lft ear ringing.

330p BP 113/83 I’m hesitant about taking Lyrica for my nerve pain. Checked drug interaction online with other prescribed rxs. I so wish I had a medical person I could ask bunch of questions that I trust.

 

https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1937-2171,3362-15526,1956-0

Not liking possible side effects…angioedeme – I’ve already had that problem with one of the blood pressure rx’s. Dr has to change It quickly. Feet & legs swelled quickly making it hard to walk. It was horrible and I haven’t even lost all the weight and have gained much since.

 

1125a saw fire truck and ambulance coming down rd. Pulled over even though four lanes. Didn’t realize they were stopping near us on opposite side rd. Apparently pick up lost control and flipped up hill hitting a chain fence and landed on its side. Couldn’t tell if anyone was still inside. Scary to think if we left just a few minutes before it might have been us in the accident. Prayed quick prayer for people involved. Shook me up.

245p let Jordon drive home. Bit shaken more than normal today. Do you know how hard it is to let your teen son drive and try to keep cool when you’re freaking out on the inside? Jordon is good driver don’t get me wrong. I get anxious now when Joe’s driving. I know I can quote Scripture like “What time I am afraid I will trust in the.” I know it’s me. I know it’s a result of my lightning strike. I know the Lord is my protector, but I somehow unconsciously am spazing out for lack of control. I just want to scream, duck for cover, run and hide somewhere. I can argue with myself until I’m blue in the face and pass out, but am I really doing myself any good. I think not. Do I know how to fix it? My only answer is meditate upon Scripture, listen to soothing music, and pray until my spirit has calmed enough to feel at ease once again.

330p reached out to old friend that deals with fibromyalgia. Asked her few questions. I’m really doubting taking drug the PCP prescribed for my nerve pain. I’m not liking the possible side effects – dizziness, drowsiness, constipation, weight gain. I already deal with those regularly. Then to complicate matters it has more possible side effects from interactions with other drugs I’m taking –  slow your heart rate. This can cause dizziness, or feeling like you might pass out, weakness, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeats caqay cause angioedema, a condition associated with swelling of the face, eyes, lips, tongue, throat, and occasionally also the hands and feet.

600 decided to walk to stop sign and back. Exercise suppose to be good.

830 exhausted and going to bed. Hurting all over. Feet touchy.

930p drink sleepy time tea

1000p getting very drowsy. See you in am.

Stinging needle pain ain from head to toe. Neck hurts. Hands swollen and throbbing. Lower let leg tourniquet tightening feeling with numbness.. Stinging left left foot and lower leg.

 

Oct 20

730 having trouble waking.today. in much pain all over. Trouble getting motivated to get up bc I hurt so much.

Bad headache. Neck hurts. Arms throbbing. Torso throbbing. Hands swollen and throbbing. Low back hurts. Legs ache. Feet sting and throb. Toes tingling. Muscles periodically and randomly spasming through body. Pain about 8/9 level.

848

Did you know neuropathy can lead to these problems?

Low blood pressure

Gastrointestinal distress

Chronic fatigue

915 decided to try drinking tea with 2 drops copabia oil & honey

Dizziness

330 Had kids work for 30 minutes cleaning up their rooms. Folded a load of laundry and put it away. Hung two suits. Jordon helped move my dresser to retrieve jewelry I dropped behind it. Horrified at how dirty it was behind there. Decided to vacuum.

Afterwards I’m in so much pain I want to cry. Laying down to rest for a while.

500p Thankful that Dezirae cooking dinner tonight. I’m not up to it.

800p decide to soak in Lavendar and copabia Epsom salt bath.

Watched movie called Healed by Grace.

It’s about a young lady who dreams to be a professional dancer but her life is changed drastically after a tragic accident. I cried through alot of it because I can resonate with the girl due to my having a brain injury.

https://youtu.be/j3fYgQgNsu0

While I don’t question “why?” as I had been praying for God to enlarge my coast, I do have multiple levels of healing I struggle with daily. I do have my moments of meltdown and ask God to please shew me what He wants me to learn through all of this. I do agree that God’s plans are not mine and I’m thankful for how much He has enlarged my coast and the many people I’ve been able to help along the way.

 

Oct 21

530 Joe decided we’d go work on cleaning out the SS Bldg some. I did my best to help. Joe told me to not do too much bc he didn’t want me to hurt myself.

1000p strange dream. Hurt little less but still in much pain. Nerves stinging thru body. Pain about a 7.

Hurt from head to toe. Took night meds. Forgot to take am meds. Took additional supplements plus naproxen and Tylenol. Drink sleepy time tea.