Category: My Healing Journey

Nov 19

5.00 sky is awake so I’m awake. Ugh!  Too early.

6.00 read Bible on phone & pray for today.

6.30 need to get going. Whole body aches, but not as bad as I thought I would. PtL! 

Eyes crusty on edges. Lft shoulder sore like I pulled a muscle and achy.

8.15 taking Dezirae to Dr.  Asked nurse about being cash patient. $125 initial plus what ever tests to run. $60 per visit thereafter. Kids Dr is an internist. Could possibly see her. Neat…knew she was pediatrician but not internist too. Not so sure about pricing though. If God wills, He will provide.

Toes are freezing. Legs ache. Balance off way much today…have to keep catching myself. The fluorescent lightning is hurting my eyes. Putting sunglasses back on. 

https://www.growingupherbal.com/echinacea-versus-elderberry

10.30p still have blood tinged nose. Going to try Tylenol arthritis for day or so to see if bloodiness will clear. I suspect Naproxen is one of contributing factors. The other factor I’ll get checked out after first of new year.

Whole body aches. Sore from head to toe. Very busy day between appointments. I’m exhausted too. Rt ear hurts. Using vicks on cottonball in ear to ease discomfort. Ear canal swollen. Headache.

Nov 20

4.00a woke to severe stabbing pains in stomach.

6.30a alarm goes off. I’m exhausted. Strange dream…only thing I remember is I was searching for something that was extremely hard to find. What ever it was it was important to be found. 

Very congested. Eyes watery. Hands ache

Researching ways to make life simpler for planning meals. Tried making a meal plan board with several different recipe meal cards, but it’s too complicated for brain to compute. Tried the 6wk meal plan, but it’s too much for my brain to compute. So far I like the weekly meal plan with grocery list under each day, but I strongly dislike the color yellow & I prefer organized boxes to help me shop in grocery store so I not repeating steps and aisles multiple times. I found a grocery list I like to use for most part, but it’s for people with babies which I have teens and I try to make my own cleaners so I don’t go down those aisles much.

There might be something to the Tylenol Arthritis. I didn’t wake as in much pain as I usually do especially after a busy day. I still hurt but not as bad.

8.30 Kids have play practice today for program on Friday. Kids chattering before practice begins is bothering my brain. Head hurts and lights bothersome. Moving to dark room. 

10.45 preschoolers are adorable ringing their bells, but oh does it hurt my head so. Remembered I keep ear plugs in my purse. Put them in to dampen sounds. At least my hair covers my ears so you can’t see the bright orange plugs. It amazes me how well I can hear still with plugs in ears. 

12.30 allowed Jordon to drive to store from co-op. Had a close call. He did good job correcting himself. I’m tired and my nerves are shot. Took back driving after he parked. Explained me being tired makes nerves more jittery and they don’t mix. He agreed.

2.28. I’m exhausted. Need to rest a while. Nerves feel like they’re on fire. Feel like I’m going to crash. 

Nov 21

6.30 awake several times in night. Pain causes troubled sleep at times. Strange dreams – ones I don’t want to remember.

I hurt all over. Comforter feels like lead. Headache. Hurt from head to toe. Decided to let kids sleep in a little since they’ve been ill this week.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/aging-scientists-find-physical-cause-of-fibromyalgia-062113#1

7.30 hands stinging. Feet especially right getting sharp stabbing stinging pain making me jump! Rt ear ringing and achy. Neck hurts. Shoulders & back hurting. Chilling sensation going down spine to lower back. Lower back throbbing. Legs ache. Don’t know how to get the sharp stinging stabbings to stop.  

https://www.verywellhealth.com/staying-warm-fibromyalgia-chronic-fatigue-syndrome-715593

11.45a finally finished Jordon’s costume for tomorrows play. Took me few hours just to figure out how to cut it out. Took me few hours today to sew it together. Had to look up how to sew sleeves on. I almost did it wrong. Good thing I thought to google instructions for sleeves. I would’ve been horrified. It’s a bit too large, but it’ll work. But I did it!! Thank you, Lord!  

3.00p helped Jordon put some stuff in car to take to church. Muscles in legs now spasming. Low back throbbing. Short of breath. Hands ache.

4.00 taking pain rx to help me get thru this evening

 7.24 left side back throbbing. Arms and hands stinging.

11.50p lower back & left side cramping & throbbing pretty bad. Hands swollen, achy, & tingly. Speech not matching brain thoughts. Neck hurts. Chest center hurting. Hiccups. Headache. Tired. Jakob bday tomorrow and I’m not ready. Jordon offered to help make cake. Sweet boy. Taking muscle relaxer. Need sleep lots going on this weekend.   

Nov 16

Nerves been randomly stinging off and on all day. 

Nerve repair supplements

Lipoic acid 300mg 2x daily, 

Acetyl-L-Carnitine 2,000 mg a day, Inositol (500-1,000 mg a day), and vitamins B6 (50-100 mg a day) and B12 can actually help heal the nerves and decrease or eliminate the pain

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complementary-medicine/200811/eliminate-nerve-pain-naturally

6 Supplements for Nerve Health

7.00p Joe & Dezirae brought home a boar. Thankfully, all I have to do is pack it to put in freezer. My nose not going to handle it tonight nor my back and nerves. I’ve been in much pain today and not been able to move much.

11.00p Think I’ve developed an allergic reaction to bleach. Put some in water to disinfect items used to process boar. Now my hands and arms are itching like crazy!!! Think that’s why I steered away from using it. Ugh!

Bad headache. Hurting to tears.

Nov 17

6a woke from nightmare. Brain feels like it’s spinning inside my head. Congested. Runny & bloody nose. Need to find a decongestant that won’t cause bloody nose. 

7a corner of eyes crusty. Slight headache. Whole body aches. Hands swollen and achy. Rt hand tingly. Low back throbbing. Tylenol sinus to get congestion under control.

8.15 leaving for church. I really need to practice piano more but it hurts my brain so. I’d much rather sing than play but glad I can so others can worship properly in services. Music – the right kinds – can be soothing to the mind, body, & soul. Praying God sends us a pianist.  

8.30 sneezing like crazy. Forgot to take the Tylenol sinus. Got distracted. I do that a lot. Lol. 

Sure would like to pick some pecans.

Jakob gave me his old phone. Switching sometime today but have to get him to help me.  

10.00 Filling in for primary Sunday school class. I know Bible story – Zacchaeus – so it was easy to teach. Sang Zacchaeus was a wee little man. Read passage from Luke 19. Had to use finger to follow along to keep me in place. Played game with memory verse Acts 16:31. Got dizzy and had to grab chalkboard so I wouldn’t fall. Hailey noticed and made comment. 

Had to sit for bit. Did Bible review asking questions about God and Bible. It helped to have teacher book, Joyful Life, to ask questions. It made them think.

11.00 Still dizzy. Asked God to help me play. Feels like everything is moving to the right. It’s really hard to focus to play when my brain is spinning.

Part of dream came back to me while I was playing piano…I went back in time and was conversing with Henry Wordsworth Longfellow in country meadow. We were comparing our poetry. Next thing I know there were bombs going off all round us and we had to run for cover.

Back is stinging. Headache. Throat very dry. Muscles very tight. Hurts to move neck.

1.15 I am exhausted. Whole body aches. Nerves stinging in hands. Headache. Toes tingling. Feel like I’m about to shut down and crash. Nerves tingly with hint of fire thru body. Laying down a piece.

3.45 ended up taking two hour nap – longer than I intended, but I needed it.

4.00 decided to work on research for next Scripture journaling theme. Christmas in mind. Also thinking about Fruit of Spirit. Just did Love. Decided on Joy.

5.00 getting headache. Prompted to go to look for book to help with counseling on assurance of salvation. Burdened to help daughter with her assurance and get it settled once and for all. 

5.15 while talking with her, nose starts gushing blood. Took about 5 minutes to get it to stop. Feeling weak.

Book had illustration that Joe & I could expound upon to help her understand things better. Praise the Lord she got it settled!!! 

6.50 rt hip throbbing. Back stinging. Headache worsening. Taking Naproxen. Don’t understand why I continue to take that. It helps with inflammation but doesn’t touch nerve pain. Rt ear ringing. Feet prickly stinging tingling.

8.00 family made hospital visit after church. Church family in hospital. Finally on right meds…feeling better…praying he will be able to go home tomorrow.

9.00 Jordon helped me make dinner when we got home. Grilled cheese & cream mushroom soup.  

Took Joe his soup and plate. Got my bowl to go sit down. Didn’t realize Joe’s feet sticking out and I tripped. I tried to fuss at him and say, “I have hot soup in my hands don’t trip me”. Instead I said, Hey, I have hot soup on my brains.” Jordon replies, “Ha! We can tell Mom’s tired.” All we could do was to laugh. Lol! Funny things I say especially the more tired I am. 

10.00 trouble choking easily over liquid or even my saliva. Congested. Simple pt exercises getting me out of breath. Haven’t been able to do them much this week due to pain and exhaustion. 

Whole body hurts. Random traveling stinging needle pain thru body…mostly in back right at moment. Exhausted. Skin itchy. Think I might need to take benadryl but hesitant due to bloody nose earlier. Took muscle relaxer to see if it’ll knock me out before getting too miserable. Rt shoulder aching. Center of chest aches. Taking pain rx too.

Nov 18

6.30 woken from a strange dream. (On my way to prom with several friends. Upon arriving at school and before I could get out…He was my best friend but I couldn’t remember his name. Why couldn’t I remember?) Just as I began to open my mouth my alarm went off and I woke up! Ugh!

Whole body aches. Lower back muscles spasming. Headache has eased but not gone.

8.00 trying to get caught up on recording grades. Hard to believe it’s 5th week of 2nd quarter. Both kids not feeling well. Dezirae’s cough sounds like it’s starting to settle in chest. Jordon not feeling good either. Ugh!

Marmalade didn’t set so we need to reboil. Adding pectin this time. 

2.14 Im so tired and brain hurts. Nerves stinging in arms and hands. No clue what to have for dinner. Need to rest a bit. Can feel a crash oncoming.

2.28 marmalade redone. Tastes good.

4.15 Joe asked for biscuits to go with marmalade. I will oblige, but I’m done for day. I’m really hurting so.

9.38 rt hip throbbing. Low back throbbing. Head hurts. Hands throbbing. Random muscles spasming through body. Neck throbbing. 

Shoulder muscles tightening and very sore.

https://neuropathyhelp.co/

10.40 sharp stabbing pain lft back head. Bad enough to make me stop what I was doing!

Skin itchy all over. Took pain rx & muscle relaxer. 

Nov 13

6.30 I hurt all over and so tired. I don’t want to get up. Hitting snooze. 

7.30 didn’t mean to stay in bed that long. Dezirae knocks door to let me know we have hour before leaving. Ugh! Bible read Psalm 61. Decide not to do pt exercises this am. I’m really hurting. Headache. Sinuses congested.

9.30 just discovered I forgot to take morning meds & vitamins. Explains extra tiredness. Better check bp. Bp 108/86 hr 88 guess not too bad. Drinking sleepytime tea to help me go to sleep. Eyes watery and feel extra heavy. Rt hip super throbbing. Skin itchy. Low back throbbing.

10.40 woke to severe burning indigestion. Vomited just after chewing couple papaya enzymes. Had to change clothes. Hurting worse. Feel like I need to take benadryl. 

Nov 14

8.00 woke up late. Besides hurting all over I feel yuckie. Read Bible & devotional. Must have faith and take God seriously.

8.45 Decided to take leap of faith and take hot shower without Joe here. I’m doing it scared and asking God to help.

9.15 Had couple close calls. Arms cramping and had to rest them few times. Kept dropping things, but I didn’t fall. I’m exhausted and aching like I just worked out, but I’m safe. PtL!

10.00 looking for 2nd orange marmalade recipe found neat way to start plants indoors. Think I’m going to try it out. Found two 2 liter bottles to repurpose and recycle. Planting green peppers and Rutgers tomatoes. Labeled and dated planters. Placed on window seal in front window. Hope it works this time. I do not have green thumb…well the only green they may slightly possess is envy of those who can grow gardens. Lol. I seem to only be able to grow aloe, roses, and amaranth so far.  

1.24 attempted making orange marmalade in crockpot but it didn’t turn out. Apparently I didn’t use enough oranges and it looks burnt. Trying again. Dezirae helping this time.

Kids have bunch tests today. My brain hurts and feeling foggy. Vision starting to blurr on edges. Need to rest but I only have 2.5 hours before needing to leave. Feeling stressed. Playing music to ease stress.  

4.00 Jordon driving to church. As if nerves not on edge enough it starts to lightly rain half way to church and traffic gets busy. By time we reached post office my nerves had enough, I told Jordon to scoot over and I drove until we got out of heavy traffic and I let him drive rest way to church. He did very good his 2nd time only driving. This mama’s nerves are shot though. Enough strezz for one day. Lol. 

5.00 cooking dinner. Had to ask for help to drain noodles. Center of chest is really hurting. Rt hip really hurting too.

5.30 discovered one of my favorite meals…tuna noodle casserole. Jakob says it’s always been. I couldn’t remember. Made extra to help family at church out. Love my church family.

8.00 feeling flushed. Vision is blurry on edges making it difficult to focus. Sweet spirit in church tonight. 

10.30 neighbors are playing their music loud tonight. My nerves are rebelling and don’t like it too much. Skin feels like it’s jumping all over. It doesn’t help that I’m already hurting from the cold weather. 

Misplaced my pj pants and have to wear my sweatpants to keep warm…not as comfortable for me. 

Rt side cramping sharp jabs. Rt hip throbbing much. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness in lft foot. Hands swollen and achy. Brain fog lifted ever so slightly. Center of chest throbbing. I’ve overdone it again. 

Lord, please make neighbors stop playing their music so loud. Nerves are jumping to rhythm of the beat. Ugh! Not healthy for anyone let alone me right now. Maybe need white noise to drown out music. Headache. Pain rx & benadryl taken. 

Nov 15

6am slept all night PtL! Gotta take Jordon to work. Think I’ll let him drive.

7am stopped at store for butter. Found good deals on meat. Meat is almost out in freezer. 

8am decided to finish making marmalade. 

9am finishing up my bible reading and devotions. Able to write new one today.

12.30 finishing up canning the last of the marmalade. Tastes pretty good. Made 24 – 8oz jars. Dinner in crockpot. I’m so tired and starting to really hurt bad. Done what I can do for now. Time to rest.

Musclez in back and abs are screaming too much done today. Hands swollen and stinging, throbbing. Rt hip throbbing. Calves burning. Headache. Resting for while.

5.30 Got word of unexpected health concern with church members family. Offered to watch children while wife go sits with husband in hospital for while. God please be with this family. They have been through so much lately. Please gird them with Your strength and mighty power in amidst their trials. Comfort their hearts and lay your healing hand on him. Amen.

Making dinner to feed the kids too.

10.50 I’m tired but wide awake. In much pain from overdoing it today. Hands stinging and swollen. Feet sting. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness. Calves cramping and burning as if I walked one hundred miles (couldn’t even walk a half mile right now if I wanted to – don’t know where that number popped out from hehe). Rt hip throbbing. Butt hurting. Nose itching. Muscles in back tingly and hurting. Neck very sore & stiff. Head hurts. Sinuses in face hurt. Cramping in rt side. Shoulders hurt.

Nov 10

5.30a woke to Joe’s alarm. Woke from strange dream. Can’t fall back to sleep.)

Nose stuffy. Insideds shivering. Rt hip throbbing. Headache. Whole body aches. Eyes watery.

6.30 inside I’m excited about the day but my outward body is having trouble moving. Thankful God’s plans are best. It’s been great having friends staying with us. It’s nice to have a friend that gets what your feeling or going thru (she got double concussion from bad car accident several yrs ago. Experiencing some of same issues I’m dealing with from my tbi). Gotra get up and going…I can smell Joe searing the roast for lunch.

10.30 brain feels like its swimming today…vision extra blurry on edges, dizzy, unstable – almost fell few times, but able to grab something to catch self

11.00 easily distracted – had hard time playing offertory bc someone was talking. Turned head too fast and got dizzy. Irritated me so much I wanted to stop and tell person to shut up. Ugh! Remembered piano teacher’s instruction to keep mind on piece and play best you can til piece is finished

6.30 sudden sharp pain in lft abs & center of chest. Lasted about 13 minutes

10.30 sharp stabbing pain in rt side. Rt hip throbbing! Hands swollen and achy. Headache. Center of chest hurting. Took pain rx. Muscles spasming in upper lft leg. Skin itching upper lft leg.

Nov 11

6.30 rough night. Fell asleep sometime after midnight. Woke every two hours thereafter.

Joe asked if I was okay before leaving for work. Told him I was hurting all over. Asked why. Told me I had bad nightmare last night. All I remember is being stuck in same dream over and over. I feel like I’ve been beat up. Headache and exhausted.

9.00 I finally fell back to sleep around 7 and slept til 9. Still tired.

Decided to push past comfort zone and do extra chore – fixed box fan bc cover coming off & cleaned it, hung load of towels. Not so sure hanging towels good idea (its such a nice day) bc I’m really hurting now.

1.00p decided to take kids to Krispy Kreme for rewards of good grades. Stopped at thrift store. Found 2 t-shirts for Jordon’s quilt I want to make him for Christmas. Still need a few more but I’m getting there.

10.00p I really hurting now. Definitely not too good idea pushing to do extra day before having to report for jury duty. I’m hurting almost to tears. 

Gotta figure out herbs/oils to reduce nerve pain.

Nov 12

 5a so not today ready for today

7.30a never been to court house. It’s so big. Lots of people here. I have no idea where to go. Officers have all been so kind. People several giving me compassionate looks like they’re sorry I have to be here. Anxiety starting to fester. I’m overwhelmed & scared. Balance is off keep having to adjust and gain my balance so I don’t fall. 

Thankful for the tall pillars to lean on. Strange guy asks me where to go. I tell him I have no clue bc I’ve never been here. He says oh and disappears into the large crowd ahead of me. 

Crowd starts moving. Not sure where they’re heading. I decide to follow. Oh, they’re heading to elevators. Officer is letting jurors only on elevators at this time to go to 8th floor. Oh, that’s me. I guess I’ll follow. 

Once off elevator, another officer instructs people to make sure that jurors have summons filled out & hands out instruction manuals. Once filled out, instructed to wait in long line to enter courtroom. I only made it halfway down long hallway of line of people and had to sit in chairs to rest a while before I could walk more. Eyes began to well up with tears. Told myself not now. Quoted “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee”. Tears got bigger. Not helping. Gave self pep talk. After resting, got in long line. Boy, there’s a lot of people here. Tears started leaking from eyes. Can’t fall apart now haven’t even made it in courtroom. 

Finally made it to doors. Lady checks my summons to see if filled out right. Explained to her that I’d never been here before. Tells me it’s ok and to take summons to blonde lady. I ask her which blonde lady bc there’s two up there. She chuckles and says she didn’t notice. Asked which colored blouse. She didn’t answer. I proceed to slowly enter room and walk towards front. I’m exhausted, getting dizzier, Lord, please give me strength.  After approaching the lady, I asked her to check regarding my summons.  I explained that I had been struck by lightning and am still dealing with after effects.  I wrote letter but never heard back.  She checked computer.  She informed me that I had been excused and apologized for the inconvenience of having to come downtown.  I thanked her and was glad to get out of there.

I got so turned around when I left the court room I had no clue where to go or how to get out of there.  I had to ask an officer how to get out of here.  He kindly escorted me to the elevator and to main lobby on bottom floor.  I thanked him for his service.  He smiled. 

Glad that my Mom had come with me because I knew it was going to take me a long time to get back to the vehicle.  Had to stop frequently to rest to get enough energy to keep going. Thankfully, the bus driver that brought everyone from the parking lot to the courthouse spotted me attempting to return to our vehicle.  She stopped the bus in the middle of the road and told us to hop on.  I thanked her repeatedly for her help.  She smiled. 

Thankful for God looking out for me today and all the help along the way.  I do not want to experience this again in the future.  Extra stress adds exponential pain to the scheme of things.

10.53 I’m exhausted and really hurting. Rt hip throbbing

Nov 7

6.00 took a while to fall asleep. I think the peppermint tea helped me fall asleep before midnight. Woke at 3.30 to severe sharp pains in center of chest. I’m so hurting all over!!! I don’t feel like moving at all. 

2.00 having very off feeling day. Hard to focus or get motivated to do anything. Got Joe’s rebate request in mail. Started planning lesson for school got side tracked several times. Know I’m suppose to be doing something important but can’t remember it. Checked to do list – it’s not written there. Need to get better plan of cleaning upset. 

4.30 we were suppose to leave already for church and I’m not even ready. Entire functional system has been slow moving today and I’m really hurting. Dezirae tried to get my help in science and I couldn’t even push through brain fog to understand to help her. 

6.00 rt hip is throbbing worse than toothache. Pain rx not even touching it.

11.50 insides feel like they’re spasming, whole body hurts, hands throbbing, rt hand itches, very tired, feet cold, tummy growling, lft thumb crampinf, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, rt hip throbbing, Elbows stinging.

Nov 8

7.00 relived lightning strike incident in my dreams last night except this time we call 911. I wouldn’t let them take me until Joe got home from work. I’m in much pain this morning. Hurts to move. Feet are numbish. 

6.30p friend arrived safely from out of town. Glad they’re here.

11.59p rt hip giving me a fit. I so hurt and so tired.

Nov 9

7.00 slept fair. Whole body hurts. Headache.

8.00 Joe sweet enough to make breakfast – made pancakes. 

9.00 blew nose. It’s bloody. Ugh! Bp 127/76 hr 70 Not sure what’s up. So tired and I haven’t done anything.

1.30 Joe, Jakob, & Dad left for church. Meeting other preacher’s on ordination counsel about ordaining Joe. Upset I can’t be there. Jakob going to take pictures for me. He’ll be presented church & bible tomorrow before church tomorrow. Exciting day!

2.00 rock n roll playing in thrift store is making my nerves jumpy and hurting!!! I must vacate premises. This noise is bothersome.

7.30 nose bleeding. I’m feeling weak. I don’t know why it happens.

10.00 extremely tired. Joe thinks the naproxen is cause of nosebleeds. Said the three months I was granted permission to take tramadol the nosebleeds went away. I’m thinking he may be right. 

I don’t see how the gabapentin is helping at all. There’s gotta be a combo of natural remedies that will reduce nerve pain. 

Nov 4

5am woke from horrible nightmare I don’t want to remember to abdomen spasming & cramping bad. It hurt so bad it hurt to move and emotionally I just want to cry.

6.30 Whole body aches. Kept reliving nightmares after I fell asleep. Why is my brain bringing that situation back up again? I’ve dealt with it, had counseling for it, and have forgiven my trespassers. Is my brain trying to relieve trauma suppressed in muscles to memory where it won’t hurt anymore? 

12pm spent morning writing excuse request for jury duty due to current medical and mental issues, making phone call to check on something, washed two loads, & put dinner in crockpot – I am exhausted. In need of a nap. Whole body aches. Temp was about 60ish when I got up. 

6pm took kids to bank and store. Glad they had wheelchairs at store. Kids helped me do little grocery shopping. By time we got home, I was really hurting and exhausted. Kids helped bring groceries in and put some of them away. Thankful I had put dinner in crockpot this morning.

Center of chest throbbing. Whole body aches. Sipped some peppermint tea so hopefully, that’ll help ease the pain and woo me to sleep. Can’t take any more Ibuprofuen bc I took my limit today.  (I hope I’m using right emojis…certainly don’t want to say something I didn’t mean to. Is there a dictionary on emojis the wonder?? Pushed through some of my pt exercises. Tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness about six” up from ankle down to foot on lower left leg. Headsche. Muscles spasming in upper lft leg. Low back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Throbbing pulsating pain in rt foot. Rt jaw aches.

Nov 5

3.30a woke from nightmare. I was being attacked. My body feels like I was beat up badly. I almost fell out of bed too. 

5.00 must have been moaning in my sleep. Joe asked if I was okay. Told him I had bad dream. He came and laid down near me, hugged me, and kissed me several times. So sweet. Helped me feel safe again. 

10.30 TBI mtg. Had mtg with Ron & Theresa to catch them up on what’s been going on. Encouraged me to change atty. Need to find Dr to work with me. Could’ve had a stroke being off bp rx like that for two weeks. Not safe. Ron going to work on getting set up for an actual neuro testing for TBI. Teresa going to reach out to local organization that may have some $ to help me get copies of my medical records. 

Nov 6

6.30 rough night. Trouble falling asleep then wake up every couple hours. Whole body aches. 

8.00 decided to make stew for dinner. Trying to use up items in freezer to prepare for new deer meat. Didn’t label bag not sure if it’s pork or deer bones. Arms hurting from prepping veggies. Need to leave for co-op soon. Taking pain rx to last. 

11.20 hands, arms, low back throbbing from washing few dishes from last class. I’m exhausted too. Jordon misplaced my key fab. Ugh! 

3.30 decided to make pumpkin cookies. Had to ask for help. Got cookies dropped on sheet and realized I forgot to add sugar. Ugh! Think I need to stop and rest my brain and aching body a while.

10.00 kids helped me process carved pumpkin we were given today. From cutting into chunks, to baking, to peeling off skin, to cutting in pieces, to pureeing, to putting in bags for freezing. It took about 3 hours. We got about 20 cups of pumpkin puree. Thankful for their help. Couldn’t have done it without them. I’m exhausted and hurting, but feel accomplished. Looking forward to the pumpkin goodies to be made in future. Also, trying to dehydrate some of puree to make pumpkin powder. We shall see. I hope my muscle and body don’t regret extra work tomorrow. I hurt from head to toe.

Nov 1

7.00 woke several times from nightmares in the night. My whole body hurts!!! Eyes watering. They seemed so real!

8.00 Woah! It’s cold outside in November -38°! My bones hurt. It hurts to move.

5.55 stomach has been hurting all day. Back’s been stinging for bit now. Chest hurtz. Hands swollen and achy.

Managed to use bread machine to make pizza crusts for homemade pizza tonight. Wanted to do more today but its hard to push thru the pain sometimes

9.00 back pain has increased exponentially!!! I’ve barely been able to move. Stomach severly bloated. Periodic sharp pain lower lft abdomen. 

10.00 Joe helped me to bed. Daughter asked if pain level was a 20. Told her by Dr scales it couldn’t be a 10 bc I’m not asking to go to ER. She chuckled and said that’s funny bc you’d never ask to go to ER. (I wasn’t being funny). Told her by Dr’s scales it’s probably a 9. She then made comment that she could tell I felt bloated bc she could see it even under the covers.  

I’m hoping that’s its bad case of constipation rather than I did too much today. Either way I think a cup of chammomile tea sounds good about now. Maybe I can drink my way to better health thru herbal teas. 

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322624.php

Nov 2

Woke not hurting as bad as last night but still pretty bad. Whole body hurts.  As long as I don’t move much center of chest & back pain is medium. 

8.00a family went to yard sale before visitation. I really wanted to go but couldn’t force myself to go. Knew it’d be better to rest up for church tomorrow.

9.00 ate 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast & glass water. Gave me indigestion. Ugh!

Thinking combination of new exercises, doing little much, and cold weather aggravated costocondritis again. May neex to do Ibuprofuen regimen again.

10.50p taste buds off tonight. Sleepytime tea tastes disgusting to me. Only able to get down half cup. Head pounding. Whole body aches. Center of chest sharp pains if I move wrong otherwise throbbing thru to back. Legs ache. Muscles randomly twitching in legs. Feet cold. Neck throbbing. Turn radius small – shooting sharp stabbing pain in body if turn neck too far. 

Nov 3

6.30 woke thinking I overslept. Had several nightmares – all of the ones I can remember parts of I thought I saw someone I knew but when started towards I couldn’t find him. On a horse farm riding horse in one; in a quaint small town near downtown in another.

Whole body aches and I have headache. Chest sore. Took Ibuprofuen 800mg. Gotta kick out the costo so don’t have to do steroids. Dropped on of extra pt exercises last night hoping that’ll help too.

7.30 decided to eat oatmeal for breakfast. Need more fiber.

8.00 trying to get ready and I’m wearing out quickly but I don’t have time to rest in order to be on time. Need to remember to set my alarm. Bp 119/78 hr 87

9.30 A headache I do have. My right hip is starting to hurt more.

7.50 My rt hip is throbbing with pain shooting down to foot. Ugh!

Oct 28

7.00 woke from nightmare to headache, calves cramping, and muscles twitching randomly in body. Whole body aches and stiff. Eyes watering.

7.28 still laying in bed reading my Bible chilling burning sensation in center of chest

8.00 doing morning pt exercises. Lft shoulder back area cramping. Ugh! Hurts to move. Very tired. 

11.00 PT today. Blair checked out some of my exercises to see how I’m doing. Entire back from neck down is very tight. Adjusting exercises. Need to wake up core muscles to get them strong again. Back muscles very tight in neck and shoulders area and tight down spine. 

Tara checked my vestibular system. Blair asked to give brief background and what going on with dizziness. 

Tara said she could see my eyes skipping in exercises she asked me to do.  Amazing that she could see when my peripheral vision got blurry. 

Tara suggested I seek out a neurooptimologist. They specialize in vision problems. This helped to validate some of issues I’m having. Blair said this type of Dr would be good to have on my team.

7.00p- reclining in chair in livingroom using heating pad. Back muscles cramping and stinging. Need to relax them.

9.00 wore out from today. Going to bed early. 

9.30 indigestion kicks in ugh! Muscles randomly twitching thru body. Sinuses congested. Hands throbbing. Butt hurting. Low back throbbing. Shoulders and neck tight and throbbing.  

Oct 29

12.00 still wide awake. Whole body hurts. Pain rx not touching it. Taking muscle relaxer. Think I’ll take a benadryl instead.

7.30 Joe & Jordon cooked dinner for me. Dezirae made cheese cake for dessert. Yum!

8.30 drinking sleepytime tea with heating pad on back.

9.15 Crashed in chase lounge for 30 minutes shortly after drinking tea. Guess I was more tired than I thought

10.00 whole body hurts!! Rt ear aches. Hurts to move. It’s been raining off an on all day. 

Tweaked PT VOR exercises are making headache worse. 

11.00 muscles thru body stinging. Pain rx and melatonin taken. Hope to fall asleep soon so I don’t feel the pain.

Oct 30

7.30 oh, my body hurts!!! I don’t want to get up. Muscles randomly twitching in legs. Cramping in rt side. Rt hip throbbing. 

Gotta figure out how to overcome the nightmares just about every night. 

It’s most likely spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12. 

8.00 it’s raining and cold front is on its way. No wonder I’m hurting. Gotta push thru as I can.

https://www.healthline.com/health/nystagmus#types

6.00 I am so hurting right now!! Pain from head to toe. Soaking in Epsom Salt bath for while. Taking pain rx too. Major indigestion too. Ugh!

10.50 bp 114/82 hr 78 at least my bp is down in spite of muscle and joint pain. 

11.43 looking into nystagmus and how it relates to TBI. 

http://www.scielo.org.za/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0256-95742017001100013

https://www.neuroskills.com/brain-injury/mtbi-and-concussion/visual-dysfunction-related-to-mtbi/

https://www.aao.org/eyenet/article/traumatic-brain-injury-visual-disorders-what-every-2

Oct 31

5.00 woke in much pain from strange dream. Thunderstorms wreak pain to my bones and muscles. Decided to read Bible and devotional book on phone.

6.30 limbs keep going numb and tingly. Gonna try to sleep little longer while I pray.

Oct 25

6.00a woke to migraine! eyes throbbing, brain feels swollen like its going to pop out of my head!!! Took bp 151/99 hr 64. Took Tylenol and Edarbyclor. My bp needs to come down now. This is ridiculous. Eyes crying from pain. 

6.30 Joe rubbing my neck, head, & shoulders to relax the muscles. Feels good. 

7.00 migraine eased from 10 to 8 but pain is still pounding. Eye throbbing. Took relpax. Migraines can be debilitating. Ugh! 

7.30 Joe sweet. Made me breakfastin bed. Two egg biscuits with provolone. I’m not hungry but I ate them anyways. I’m loved❤

8.00 I feel aweful. Joe told me I had to stay in bed all day. Normally I would contest but I don’t even have energy to. Think I’ll take a nap.

10.00 feel worse than before. Head pounding!!! Bp 158/108 head hurts to lie down anymore

2.00 soaking in Epsom Salt bath for while. Don’t feel any better but at least I’m clean 😊

2.32p Dr agreed to let me resume taking the Edarbyclor for my blood pressure. Thank the Lord! Hopefully it’ll come down soon so I can start feeling better. 

3:00 muscles randomly twitching in legs

5.00 a friend so kindly brought dinner for us tonight. It worked out wonderful for us. Never heard of Cowboy Grub before, but it was delicious.

11.45p trouble falling asleep. Bad headache but not migraine as previous in day Neck hurts. Hands ache. Rt arm aching. Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down rt leg. Low back throbbing. Lower left leg tourniquit tighten feeling. Feet tingling. Muscles feel stiff and ache.

Severe thunderstorms today. Ended up with two separate tornado warnings for our area. One actually touched down amd did damage north of us. Skin feels like its crawling periodically. Unnerving. Calves cramping. Wish I could find something naturally effective to wipe out the headaches for good. Bloated and gasy. Rt side cramping

Oct 26

7.00 woke to pounding headache. Hurts to lift head. Whole body aches.

8.00 Joe sweet decided to make pancakes for breakfast. Took am meds. Decided to make cup of decaf coffee w almond milk. 

10.00 bp 139/93 hr 65

10.20 conversation with son. Son asked opinion. Dad gives opinion. Son expressed his having trouble with opinion. I told son to “Wipe your sleeves off your feelings” instead of “Wipe your feelings of your sleeves”. Lol!

12.15 starting to remember more things about past. It’s almost like I’m coming out of an episode of amnesia or something. It’d be great to be able to regain old memories. I feel sometimes like I lost a lot of things.

3.00 Joe took us to cbc fall festival towards end so there wouldn’t be as many people. Able to visit with few friends. Nice to be out of house for change. Got 2 pumkins given to us. Yay! Get to make homemade pumkpin pie for Thanksgiving. 

10.00 heading pounding again. Of course, that probably comes from taking rest of evening to do bulletin. Had to ask Dezirae to help finish them. Thankful she likes helping me and wanting to learn things I do.

 Neck muscles and upper shoulders tight and throbbing. Hands ache. Low back & rt hip aches. Feeling some better than yday. At least bp going in rt direction now. Legs ache. Muscles randomly twitching thru body. Feet hurt.

Oct 27

7.00 whole body aches. Strange dreams. Woken before I could finish…might be a good thing as weird as it was. Head hurts

7.30 decided to eat hard boiled egg for breakfast. Ended up choking on it and having sharp chest pain making me stop in tracts. Oh, that hurts!!!

8.00 Bp 128/82 hr 65 Headache worsening. Took pain rx. Need to find something that actually works. Morning meds taken. 

9.53 I’m exhausted. I could use a nap. Eyes hurt. Head hurts.  

12.48 feel like I’m going to crash. Need to lay down a bit. Nerves tingling all over body. Vertigo acting up. Headache. 

1.20 neck popped and now I have tingling sensation in my lft ear

3.00 tingling in ear lasted bout half hour. Only slept bout thirty minutes. 

5.00 worked on love for little bit. Headache. Rt hip throbbing. 

6.00 brain hurts and vision blurred. Messed up playing hymn…stopped before I was supposed to…thought we finished. Oops. Hard to follow where we’re at in song. Next song I almost played too many verses. It’s virtually  impossible presently for me to see keys, notes, and song leader at same time. Then there’s my hands not playing keys my brain thinks it should be.

9.30 frustrated bc I’m struggling to plan meals like I used to, I’m upset at myself bc I can’t remember what a traditional Thanksgiving dinner is suppose to consist of let alone plan one for church (at least I have last yrs sign up sheet saved on computer – but I don’t think that’s even right), my mom is telling my story and is messing it up. I’m just in bad mood and everything’s rubbing me wrong way.

10.00 having bad moment and bad attitude where I don’t feel adequate. Started trying to read book. I’m in middle of second chapter and I can’t even remember what I’ve read. Ugh! The only thing that has stuck is Psalm 61:2 and that’s because I have read that verse multiple times to myself (preaching to the choir) about leaning on the Rock when I’m overwhelmed.

Oddly enough the second chapter of book is titled “Admit That You Are Stuck and Struggling”. Oh, I admit that in a heart beat. I’m stuck in my short term memory and don’t know how to fix it. I’m struggling with balancing everything and trying to figure out how to relearn things and adapt to my new self. 

Thankful the Lord has brought me thus far and has protected me. There’s been plenty of times I could of and probably should have had a heart attack or stroke since lightning strike especially with the blood pressure issue. 

Lord, please help me to learn to adapt to the new me and overcome where I can. Help me to be a vessel of honor leading others to You even in my valley.  

11.45 headache. Neck throbbing. Shoulders and upper back throbbing. Lower back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Legs ache. Hands swollen and achy. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some tingling. Burning tingling pain in center of chest. Very tired but brain not slowing down. Pm pt exercises. Nerves in lft hand and back stinging.  

Oct 22

6a woken by musles spasms in legs. Had nightmare. Headache. Low back throbbing. Pins and needles sensation in hands, forearms, and feet. Very thirsty. EO Pain Relief roller apply to back of neck.

7:09a I guess some sleep helped a little. Bp 133/87 hr 63 currently. 

7.45a Head pounding. Electrical pulsating sensation in arms and legs (almost as if I had tens unit on and turned up tad too high). Pain in left side of chest for brief moment. Whole body aches. I feel miserable. Ears ringing. Lights bothersome. Dizzier than normal.

10:29 mom took me to food pantry. Took Bp after putting food away. Bp 131/93 hr 76

12.00p Bp at Dr office was 141/88 hr 71. Bp with my machine 142/88 hr 72. Mom let them know about the Left Ventricular Hypertrophy. But I can’t remember date of diagnosis. Nurse will let Dr know and give me a call this afternoon.

Interestingly, nurse was able to pull up my records on her screen. Saw the ER report that says patient was struck by lightning. Hmm? I know I was bc I’m dealing with and feeling the after effects. Maybe I should start gathering my records so I can read over them at my pace. It’s important to be an advocate for your health.  

I’m probably confusing Dr’s bc my bloodwork came back normal. Yay me! I think the homeopathic things are helping (eg. Diatomaceous Earth milkshakes with chia seeds, the intermittent fasting, thyme tea, red raspberry leaf tea, green decaf tea, colloidal silver – of course, not all at the same time) keep my organs functioning properly and me off antibiotics.  

Major headache, neck hurts, vision feels blurred on edges of eyes, trouble thinking straight, lightheaded, dizzy, muscles randomly twitching thru body, back aches, lft side hurts like I pulled a muscle, feel like I’m running fever but I don’t

10:00p rt hip throbbing like toothache with sharp pain shooting down leg to foot, low back throbbing, headache bad (I don’t know what to take to get rid of it), lower lft leg just below chin tourniquet tightening feeling with some tingling to foot, upper back hurts, random sharp stabbing pains in rt elbow, eyes & brain feel blurry, neck throbbing, tingling in lower legs, hands ache, tired but awake. Night rx taken.

Oct 23

7:15 woke with a bad headache. Sinuses congested. Whole body aches. Low back & rt hip throbbing…at least no shooting pain presently. Nightmare – trying to escape from somewhere. 

I need to get better. I need to be able to function properly. Sipped some Thyme tea with peppermint and copabia oils. 

9.00 Bp 151/92 have horrible headache. Took Tylenol sinus.

11:30 Need some food in house. Decided to go to Sam’s with Jordon. No way I can walk Sam’s yet used wheelchair. Just that little bit wore me out. Legs throbbing. Sinuses in face hurt horrible. Buttock ache, arms soar. Couldn’t lift 6lb box of spaghetti noodles. Had to get Jordon to do it. Nerves pulsating thru body as if injured and wanting attention. Rt hip aches. Toes cold. Eyes watery. Tired. Neck hurts. Need to rest a while.

4.50p face feels flushed and cheeks feel like they’re burning, headache still bad, short of breath after making batch of stain remover (recipe on my botlle) & helping Dezirae put tablecloth on table, nerves in hands and arms stinging, muscles randomly twitching in legs Bp 146/99

5:07 Told Joe I couldn’t get rid of headache. Joe said to take 2 aspirin. Doing so.

6:30 head still pounding. Lights bright. I feel like I’m burning up. Going to lay down in dark room for while. Took migraine rx. 

7:00 dinner. not hungry eating bc I need to been drinking mostly fluids. 

7:30 applying ice pack to head and heating pad to throbbing rt hip. 

11:00 having trouble going to sleep 

Marker exercise and x to x making headache worse PT. If doc don’t do anything tomorrow I’m going back on Edarbyclor. Maybe once bp is back down to normal I can cut pill in half. Indigestion kicking in. Chewing papaya enzymes. Sinuses severly congested.

Back muscles stinging. Hands swollen and achy rt wrist throbbing. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling. Low back aches. Heart feels like its racing. I’m exhausted. Feel like I’m falling apart from inside out. Ears ringing. 

Lord lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou has been a shelter for me. Please give me sweet rest tonight. This poor soul is weary and heavy laden and I need rest from this pain. Lull me to sleep with Your sweet lullabys so I may wake tomorrow rested and ready for another day. Thank you, Lord. 

Oct 24

8.00 slept until 5am then off an on rest of night. Strange dream. Woke up very tired at 7.30a. Hit snooze few times. Hard time waking up. 

Read Bible & devotion book on phone. Prayed a while.

Galatians 6:9 – And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. 

Still have headache but not as bad as yday. Ydays was causing tears. Neck tight and hurting. Chilling tingly sensation in back of head, neck, upper back, and back of upper arms. Ears ringing. Whole body stiff and achy. Low back & rt hip hurting.

10.00 bp 161/101 hr 64 

Decided to try to rest a bit. Did morning PT exercises. Laid on chase lounge for while in livingroom. 

2:00 almost forgot to eat lunch. Chose to eat ham & cheese with tomato and lettuce tortilla wrap & hb egg. 

4:00 Bp 156/94 hr 74

Headache. Upper back stinging. Feeling flushed. Cheeks feel like their on fire. Upper chest feels like it has itchy hives. Look in mirror upper chest is splotchy. Hands throbbing. Rt hip & low back throbbing. Bloated majorly – jean skirt that’s normally loose is almost too tight. Legs ache.

9.26 muscles in rt side spasming. Headache worsening. Lights bothersome. Feet getting cold & I have socks on. Cheeks feel hot. Bloated.