Category: My Healing Journey

Sept 3

4:30a- still took me while to fall asleep at least until pain rx calmed some of intense pain. Woke at 4:30 feeling like my heart was racing, but it wasn’t. Still in lot of pain but not as bad as last night. Pain level maybe a 6.

6:30a- took Joe to work – my car down – body can tell I haven’t driven a standard in while…muscles in legs cramping/twitching especially lft leg, low back & rt hip throbbing

Anxiety kicks in on higway. So trying not to scream or jump when another car gets too close for comfort or car merging onto highway makes me wonder if they’re going to yield. I know in my brain that… God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2Timothy 1.7); but it’s like that part of my brain was injured and the anxiety rears it’s ugly head no matter what. I get enough criticism and I can beat myself up over it as well, but none of the negativity is going to help me overcome. It’s like my brain and body go into automatic fight or flight mode whether I want them too or not. Loud noises even set me off sometimes. How does one overcome ptsd? Simply by acknowledging the issues and taking it one day at a time. A few things that are helping me are: deep breathing, quoting scripture, grounding (be aware of your surroundings using my senses – taste, touch, sight, smell, & sound).

https://www.verywellmind.com/grounding-techniques-for-ptsd-2797300

Ears ringing, congested, rt shoulder/back icy hot throbbing, hands swollen, achy, & tingly, lft ear hurts, chest hurting, 

8:24a- started to do morning pt exercises but fell back to sleep. Feel like I could sleep longer I’m so tired.

MSM is definitely helping with my allergies. I’m still a little stuffy, but not as congested as I was couple weeks ago. Trouble with eye exercises this morning. Eyes didn’t want to cooperate and trouble with counting. Did complete them. Now have headache.  

9:00a- Decided this year for scripture memory for school this year to do it through teaching them scripture songs. Started with a fun one. 

Proverbs 17:22 – A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Interesting how my memory is so messed up since lightning strike, but most of the scriptures I memorized have stayed with me especially those I leraned to music.

10:50a- Jordon just got stung on back of heel walking back into house. Have baking soda paste on it right now. Had to calm him down & tell him to breath. Ugh!

11:00a- Jordon noticed bee flying inside window in front of house. Do you know how hard it is to remain calm so your kids will stay calm when inside you want to spazz out!?! Dezirae gave me some hairspray. I managed to spray it but missed first time. Sprayed second time on spot. Once I knew I got it, I used vacuum cleaner on that sucker. 

11:46a- had to scrub filter for water purifier. My whole body aches, nerves screaming & lightly stinging throughout body. I’m exhausted. Need a calgon moment to calm my nerves. Too much drama in one day for me my nerves to handle. Still have volleyball game. People just don’t know/understand how much of a challenge that is still for me. My rear end is still bruised from bleachers of game last Friday. I’ll bring my earplugs for sure. 

4:00p- left for vball game. Pit stop at bank. Need cash for entrance. Made it safe and on time.

11:24p- double header went until 8:30. Half way thru couldn’t stand sitting in bleachers nor pain in chest…sat along wall to support back. We lost but they put up a good fight towards end.

ASL class ready for tomorrow. Stressing because of unknowns. Number in class? Will they enjoy what I prepared? Will I stutter or mess up what I’m going to say?

I did tonight while at game. Trying to tell my husband something I was thinking of but it wouldn’t come out. Had to pause to slow brain down and said, “Just minute, I need my thoughts to catch up to my brain.” Lol!

No! I need to take time to breath (deep breaths). Relax myself as best as possible. Ask God to help me do my best and let Him handle the rest.

Debating doing pm exercices. I’m exhausted and really hurting. Music will soothe me.

Pain in center of chest extenuating (not sure what word is suppose to be presently) thru to back, low back throbbing, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with numbness up to just below knee cap, headache, rt ear hurts, skin itching, joints hurt to bones, toes tingly, brain jumbled, neck hurts more on rt side than lft.

Need to pick up Rx’s tomorrow at pharmacy. Feeling shaky. Head pounding. Rt hip now hurting.

Sept 4

4:30a- fell asleep sometime after 1am. Excruciating pain in center of chest!!!! Yesterday was too much for me. Headache. I just want to cry . Have to take Joe to work again bc my car still down. Lord’s gonna have to get me thru today.

6:30a- laying back down for little bit with ice pack on chest. Hopefully that’ll help ease pain some. 

Muscles randomly throughout body, lower left leg numbish and tourniquit tighten feeling, headache

7:12a- whole body aches, ice seems to have taken edge off stabbing pain 

11:36a- thankful I only teach one class this year. It’s small. Helper in 2nd class. Free last hour. I’m wiped and nerves are all jittery. 

2nd hour we helped kids make haystacks. Chow mein noodles, 1 pkg of chocolate chips, 1 pkg butterscotch chips). Hands arms have chocolate on them by time we we’re down. 

2:00p- had to stop at store to pick up few items. Muscles/nerves in arms, back, and legs screaming. Feel like I’m fading. Set security alarm off walking into the store. Don’t know how or why. Odd. No wheelchairs available. Walked behind buggy slowly. Had kids split up to get items. Dezirae stayed close by to keep eye on me.

Feel like I’m gonna crash. Chest hurting more again. Hard time staying awake. Asked God to help get me home safely. He did. Kids put grocerirs away and cooking lunch. I crashing on couch as I type.

Muscles spasming thru body. Exhausted. Chest center throbbing.

Moved to adjust on lounge severe stomach cramp kept me from moving at all for several minutes. Ice pack helped ease chest pain back down. I feel plain aweful. Lightheaded and dizzy. May have to call Dr.

Feels like my body is one big muscle cramp. I’m suppose to be getting better not worse. 

6:30p- crashed around 4:40ish. Joe woke me to feed me dinner in bed. Still feeling lethargic but not as wiped before crash. Muscles still quite jittery. Chest center starting to ache again. Trouble holding phone.

10:30p- took muscle relaxer to calm nerves around 7:30p still awake. Muscles not twitching as bad.

Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, rt leg some numbness and tingling, back throbbin, lf t arm throbbing, nerves are stinging

Sept 1

 having hard time waking up

Whole body aches, tailbone bruised throbbing – it so hurts to sit down. Didn’t fall asleep until after 1am.

Feeling dizzy this am.

https://noravisionrehab.org/patients-caregivers/about-brain-injuries-vision/dizziness-balance-problems-related-to-vision

12:30p- tired, sleepy, eyes hurt 

2:00p- laying down feel like I’m going to crash.

4:00p- tried taking hour nap but I was still wiped out. Feel like I could sleep longer. Need to work on bulletin board for 9/11 & Hometown Heroes Sunday.

7:24p- lower back & rt hip throbbing, brain feels weird, eyes hurt, neck aches, lights bothersome

10:20- in lots of pain , skin itches, having trouble keeping eyes open, headache, rt hip screaming pain with periodic stabbing sharp pain shooting down rt leg to knees, low back throbbing, lymph nodes on both sides of neck swollen, sharp pain in rt neck, under rt arm skin hurts feels like shirt too tight though it’s not, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness feeling with some numbness 

Sept 2

8:00a- crashed fast and hard I did last night. Long I slept though broken off and on too. Entire back and arms throbbing. Nose stuffy. Headache. Face itches. Eyes watery.  

10:00p- decided to go to thrift store to look for hangers for boys room. Found soft pillows for livingroom, two tops, basket for give away, tablet although screen cracked, 3 packs of hangers though I had to search them out.

12:00p- thrift store trip wore me out. Feel out of breath. Headache.

1:30p- sweet corn bread casserole in the crockpot. Sitting now to rest while watching hallmark. Wifi keeps buffering. Ugh!

5:00p- dinner at parents. Played couple games. 

7:00p- tried to help Dezirae unravel volleyball net. Jordon took over. Decided to trim grass with scissors by my outdoor table. Don’t have weedeater. Got 1/4 area done before tiring out and hurting too much.

8:42p- shoulders throbbing, back throbbing, hands swollen and achy, headache, neck throbbing, bones ache thru body, legs feel heavy, low back throbbing. Haven’t taken pain rx all day and boy can I tell. Pain level about 7/8 right now.

10:30p- sharp pain in rt side, shooting pain in legs, skin itches, muscles spasming randomly throughout bod

Trying something…having kids charge their phones in kitchen and I’m turning mine off…want to see how it’ll effect my sleep if any.

August 29

7:30a- having trouble waking up today. Took a benadryl last night due to severe congestion. Also took pain rx & migraine rx. I guess it made for sleepy combo. Able to breath this morning. Severly stiff and in much pain this morning but at least migraine has eased. Still have slight headache.

Listened to wholetones music for almost an hour trying to calm overactive stinging nerves. Helped.

Lots to do today to get prepared for Joe’s birthday party after church tonight. What would take normally couple hours will take me all day. I’m learning to think outside box in order to get things accomplished.

1:00p- Eclaire cake made and in fridge. Sloppy Joe’s in crockpot. Jordon cut up the broccoli and cauliflower for me. Much appreciated. Broccoli Cauliflower Salad made and in fridge.  I feel like I’m forgetting something. 

I’m really sleepy. Slight headache. Pain level is a about a 4 but I did take pain rx around 9am.

1:40p- decided to wash some of dishes I dirtied. Only got part way before back was hurting too much to stand any longer. 

1:30p- really tired feel crash oncoming laying down a piece 

7:44p- rt hip throbbing, rt jaw aches

Headache

11:50p- low back & rt hip throbbing, lft hand and wrist numb & tingling, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness and tingling, headache worse, tired, upper back hurting, center of chest hurting, can feel my heart beating, muscles randomly twitching thru body 

August 30

6a- woke with headache, eyes watery,  toes tingly, 

1;00p- PT with neuro students. Had me walk 6 minutes up and back. Determined that as I get tired from exercises my right side gets more wobbly. About half way thru my legs started feeling like lead.  Toes tingly after walking.

Clothes line exercise showed issues with my shoulders. Wish I could remember the verbage they used.

They did several other tests to check my eyes motor control. Eyes show I’m still having trouble with vertigo. 

Update: yday session went well. They definitely tested my limits (in a good way) and discovered new information along the way. i.e. – I was struck on left side of brain and right side of body  is affected.  Convergence insufficiency in eyes.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/convergence-insufficiency/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352739

*I guess that would explain why it’s been difficult to read since the lightning strike.

Some of the students admitted they were intrigued about lightning survivors and said they went home after last session and looked up information about lightning survivors. 

At the end of session, several had questions about what I deal with now versus prior to strike. I was able to tell them about the lightning strike and electric shock survivor Facebook group that has been helpful. I was even able to share some of the struggles I’ve dealt with regarding finding Dr’s willing to help and some of the things that have been beneficial along the way.

 Some were even intrigued at the lack of medical help for long term recovery. 

They were very appreciative of my willingness to participate. They even gave me a “Thank You” card.

I am thankful they were interested in learning and for their professor’s willingness to help me. God worked in mighty way & allowed seeds to be planted.

11:00p- wore out from today’s events.

Center of back left side aching with stabbing pain. Having troubl3 holding phone in hands – keep dropping. At least my headache is gone. Bloody nose.

August 31

7:30a- I’m in much pain. Whole body hurts. Tailbone feels bruised from sitting on bleachers. Shoulders and arms ache. Hands nd arms were numb uopn waking. Low back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Hands swollen and throbbing. Lowr lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness. Rt ear hurts. Neck hurts. I don’t want to get up.  Left ear ringing. Bloody nose.

9:00a- started taking bulletin board down to change it out for 9/11 & Hometown Heroes Appreciation Sunday. Had to ask for help to finish taking it down. My arms started stinging & rt arm cramping. 

10:00a- so sleepy today. Joe had me drive car once we got to street to knock doors. Guys able to lead a lady to Christ.

12:30p- Mom, Dezirae, & I work on sprucing up front of church. I was able to rake a wheelbarrow full of pine needles for flower beds before pain was too much to bare. After resting a bit, Joe told me he needed to take me home bc I was going to overdo it.

Dezirae found my biology books! They somehow got put in clothing closet area? Weird?

3:00p- need to lay down feel like I’m going to pass out. Guys working on hunting stuff keep moving bed little. Make me feel like I’m tossed on stormy sea. Decided to move to Dezirae’s bed.

4:30p- still feel tired but need to cook dinner & do bulletin for tomorrow. Really need to start on it earlier in week. Gotta try to get my brain in gear.

11:30p- finished bulletin about 10:30. Got dizzy when going to restroom. Sore all over. Neck hurts. Hairline itches like crazy like allergic reaction to something. Hair touching skin bothersome. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with numbness more than usual, lft hand went numb, lower back throbbing, center of chest tender with mild icy feeling, upper shoulders and back achy with pins & needles sensation, pins & needles sensation in  legs below knees, lower back/butt bruised and painful to touch, bruise on left upper arm (think I fell into dresser but not 100% certain), cramping in middle back region, neck hurts, periodic ringing in ears today, middle toe on left foot throbbing like it was bit, periodic coughing like I’m choking on fluids, tongue still looks odd 

Didn’t drink enough water today. I’m very thirsty. 

August 27

6:30- whole body aches

8:00- headache oncoming, rt hip & low back aches, face hurts

12:15p- just folded load of clothes from yday. My arms especially rt arm started cramping pushed thru until load was folded. Rt arm burning cramping, out of breath and exhausted. Time to rest til cramping subsides. 

4:30p- put clothes away. Remembered I needed to shred chicken for dinner. By time I get chicken shredded my back throbbing and shoulders burning. Need to lay flat to rest back a while.

6:00p- muscles twitching in lower lft leg outside

7:45p- stomach cramping and hurting

8:30p- lower back really throbbing. Heating pad applying. 

10:15p- doesn’t seem as if heat is helping…hard to think strait hurting this bad. Sipping chammomile tea.

August 28

5:00a- stomach and back cramping/throbbing most of night. Fell asleep doing breathing exercises. Tossed and turned most of night trying to get remotely comfortable.

6:00a- cramping has eased some. I hurt horribly from head to toes. Feel like I was beat up. Hurts to move. Sinuses congested severly. Trouble breathing.

8:00a- headache, feet tingly lft more than right, lower lft leg just above ankle tourniquit tighten feeling, hands swollen and achy, eyes watery, center of chest aches

Going to see if hot shower will help.

2:00p- PT study went well. There were 10 advanced neuro physical therapy students in the class today. Their assignment was to do an inital evaluation to determine what was wrong and different injuries. It was quite interesting and challenging at times.

I brought my usual paperwork that I bring to new apts but gave at end of class. They were amazed but very thankful that I chose to participate. 

They even challenged me…asked me what my goal was in all of this. I wasn’t sure how to answer.  Told them to be able to do more physically bc I’m not able to do half of what I used to and to be able to encourage others to get the help they need.

They will meet with professor (my physical therapist) tomorrow to discuss they’re prognosis and come up with action plan. 

Friday they will finish up testing they weren’t able to complete today and discuss action plan with me. I will ve able to give my input as well. 

11:50p- I’m exhausted and hurting all over. Migraine included. Rx taken. Hope to sleep some tonight. 

August 25

2am- awake

5am- awake

7:00a- alarm goes off. I’m in much pain especially my lower back. First thoughts why does it have to hurt so bad?! 

8:48a- still in lots of pain. Had to get daughter to help curl back of hair as my arms already cramping. Just want to lay down til pain goes away. On positive side, migraine has eased some though still have a headache.

11:30- Reni made my day. She decided to sit with me during church. She paitently waited until I was done playing piano then scooted to snuggle next to me once I sat down. Decided to take pic and noticed our toes were painted same color. 

Decided to make list of items that I see need to be done around church so 1. I can feel like I’m getting something done, be focuzed on what needs done, and 2. I can delegate help when people ask to help.

A lot of times when  when people ask how I’m doing I really don’t know how to answer. I’m always in pain sometimes more than other times.  It’s hard for me to know where I’m at  compared to where I’ve been because of my memory until I refer to my notes.    When people ask how they can help I’d not sure how to answer. Sometimes I don’t know how to help myself  because I’m uncertain on what exactly is going on.  To be frankly honest, I’m finding to relearn how to do lots of things.  Some is due to the fact that I’m limited in physical function. The muscles on my rt side have become weak and cramp easily at the simplest chore. I’m having to learn how to go about daily chores in differents. It’s almost like learning how to be left handed instead of right handed. Yet even then I face challenges bc if I do too much I cause severe muscle and cartlidge inflammation in my chest which is very painful and puts me down for days sometimes weeks. 

Planning meals has been quite difficult. I have trouble making decisions. I’m unsure if the family is going to like it. I don’t even remember if I like it half the time. My taste buds have changed. My husband is having to relearn me bc things I used to like I don’t like anymore. I don’t even remember what my favorite meal was prior to strike.

I remember that I like strawberries and still do. I loathed the color yellow. Now I like sunflowers but I still dislike yellow – go figure?  

Basically, I’m learning to rediscover myself all over again.  It’s frightening and exciting and overwhelming at times all in one package. 

Sometimes I feel like a new child discovering all the different things in the world for the first time again. Sometimes I get frustrated because I know in my brain I should know things already (how to cook, how to clean, balance checkbook, name of objects, etc.), but for some odd reason I just can’t remember it. Sometimes my mind is just blank and I have no clue what I’m suppose to be doing.

I’ve been trying out avenues of meal plans to simplify that part of taking care of the home. Right now I’m working on planning a six week rotating schedule. Having a meal schedule not only helps me know what I plan to have for that day but also what items I need to have on hand for that week.

10:09p- severe cramping under rt rib!!!!

Pic insert x2

August 26

6:00a- pain in back pulsating like bad toothache. Lights bothersome. I hurt all over. Sinuses congested. Eyes watery. Weird dreams.

9:30a- chilling in livingroom Jordon asks me about how long my apt would be. Oh, no! I totally forgot about it lost track time. I’m going to be late!!! Ugh!

11:06- PT tested gait walking. I have improved speed by .7 millimeters per second. I don’t recall all she said but that’s a good bit of increase since starting PT in end of May. Thank you, Lord!!!  Something about it decreases chances of falls and improvement of well being. She’s adjusting pt exercises to help with coordination skills bc they’re quite lacking presently. 

Muscles in lower back aches and tingly.

12:20p- I’m exhausted and hurting all over. Just tried to move bed out from wall so can put headboard at head of bed. Had to ask Jordon for help. Don’t have right kind of rails to attach head and foot boards. Looks good though.   Wish I could remember what she said about the gate speed thing.

1:09p- center of chest rt side hurting, low back throbbing, hands ache

10:40p- lower back & rt hip throbbing, stinging needle pain in lft thigh, lower left leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, chest aches, upper back & shoulders ache and hurt to move much, headache, hands swollen and achy. Skin extra sensitive to touch – hair on lft arm couldn’t see it but sure could feel it about drove me crazy until I could get it off me. Random muscle spams in legs.

Just remembered to order MSM. If only I could get relief from pain once in a while. 

August 19

11:15a- hiccups already in day one of homeschool. Desktop CD/DVD player not reading any discs whatsoever. Ugh! Follow all kinds of online instructions to no avail. 

In middle of this my Mom pestering me about books I need to mail for my sister. She decides to help by coming over to take them to post office bc I can’t buy media mail postage online. Misplaced a textbook and can’t remember where I put it.  Jordon trying to jog my memory by asking questions. Refuses to let me lift anything heavy. I know this is true but my stubborness wants to say No I can do it.

Stress doesn’t suit me. Middle of chest now is hurting and has icy burning sensation. 

5:16p- Mom dropped off a store bought lasagna to help for dinner. Made homemade bread but the yeast never rose

11:18p- whole body hurts, hands swollen and achy, low back throbbing, center of chest throbbing, upper back stinging, stuffy nose, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling, 

August 20

9:00p- busy day. Food pantry a big blessing. School. Still can’t find textbook I misplaced and don’t remember where I put it. Headboard and footboard given and delivered to us. Answer to prayer. Feel like sinus infection oncoming. Short of breath easily. Lethargic. Severly congested. Blowing nose much. Sneezing much. Homemade Chicken noodle soup. Harvested Greek oregano. Went to store to get rx filled and few groceries. Former student now a store manager there. So happy for him. 

Inflammation still much in center of chest. Limited activities. Cut son’s hair…in doing so my rt arm cramped up. Had to rest little bit before finishing up even then rt arm burning.

Stiff body upon rising. Sinuses amuck. Face hurts. Ears ringing periodically. Chest hurts. Lethargic. Exhausted. Hands swollen and achy. Rt ear hurts. Rt hip aches. Low back aches. Upper back stinging. Neck hurts. Limited  turning range.

10:27p- trying to wait for oldest son to get home. My skin itches & muscles cramping. Lymph nodes on lft side neck swollen. Difficulty swallowing. Feels like meds got stuck in chest. Miss my little night light. Have to remember to grab it. Teeth hurt rt side. Nerve endings starting to feel like they’re on fire. Headache worsening. 

August 21

5:30a- woke to terrible pain in lower back. Whole body achy and stiff. Head hurts but not as bad as last night. 

Thinking I may need to add zinc to my routine. Looking for multivitamin that will have most of vitamins I take so I can reduce amount of pills taken at one time. https://livenaturallymagazine.com/timing-is-everything/

10:00a- Co-op mtg today. Kids sign up for electives. I’m teaching ASL for 8th-12th grades.

3:00p- wore out trying to figure out where I put that textbook. Daughter’s been doing the lifting. Whole body aches. Upper body tensing. Neck hurts.

9:00p- Costocondritis trying to rear it’s ugly head. Heating pad & ibuprofen. Lower back throbbing. Headache. Whole body achy and stiff. Sinuses congested. Trouble swallowing. No PT exercises tonight…maybe just breathing.

10:00p- whole body hurting. Hands swollen, achy, numbish, tingling pins and needles thru body, feet hurt, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling, shoulders stiff and burning, sharp pain shooting down lft side of torso, skin itchy, stomach hurts. Hey, hey, hey, at least my pain is letting me know I’m alive. 

11:02p- becoming more clutsy. Just spilt my water on my night stand. Tripped over my feet getting up from dinner almost fell. Caught myself.

August 16

2am- jerked awake. Almost fell out of bed too close to edge.Pain increaseth. Ugh! Took pain rx.

4am- woken by stinging needle pain. Tried to look up how to reduce it so I could get back to sleep but couldnt focus eyes well enough to read. Drank glass of water. Deep breathing. Few PT exercises.

5am- alarm went off. Thought I hit snooze.

5:19a- Joe tells me it’s time to get up. Ugh! Need to take Jordon to work. Stepped wrong getting out of bed and sprained my left foot.

6:19a- home again. Stinging needle pain in upper torso and arms and hands. Laying back down hope to get little more sleep. Rt hip aches. Neck hurts. 

11:27a- Joe calls says son forgot the check to get his twic card for his job. No happy camper. Day thrown off. Have to drive on interstate during busy time into area I’m not familiar with. Not suppose to finish sentence with preposition but unable to think how to reword sentence momentarily. 

Mom calls to ask about coming over to help with upcoming event. Tell her I’m not home. Asks me to call when I get home. 

Accident on exit I get off backing up traffic. Orange juice I drank at breakfast is not agreeing with me. Feel knot in stomach and not feeling too good. 

Joe tried to tell me directions but it’s not registering. Put address in gps but it tells me to turn wrong way off exit. Have to turn around. Almost rear ended three times. Nerves are a muck. Trying to ease nerves by music on radio but songs not helping. Finally make it. 

12:30p- finally make it home. My nerves are tingling all over. Need to sit and rest to ease nerves. Feeling exhausted like I’m going to crash. 

Eat lunch – turkey & cheese rollup. 

2:00p- Joe comes home tells me I need to call my Mom. I forgot to call. 

I text her to let her know I need a nap and I’ll call her in a bit. 

4:00p- knew I was exhausted but wow

5:00p- making cookies for friend who showed kindness recently as a thank you. 

Making dinner. Not able to stand too long at a time without my back pitching a fit. 

10:45p- stomach still upset. Hurting all over. Feels as if I may loose my cookies. Ugh! 

Oh, man I forgot to pkg up cookies for shipping. Not sure if I’ll have time in am but I’ll try. Church activity tomorrow. 

I wish I could have a day to rest from everything. I’m so tired. Headache.

11:15p- holy cow! A cricket is loud when it decides to perch on your night stand and sing. Scared me!

August 17

5:00a- woke to lower back and rt hip throbbing, stinging burning pain in upper back, rt wrist and elbow throbbing like I sprained them. 

12:27p- got to share my praise about getting physical therapy with Pastor Dean Miller. He said it was amazing all the obstacles I’ve overcome already. He thanked me for sharing. Looking forward to hearing him speak in little bit.

1:15p- nerves stinging in arms, hands, and upper back. Took pain rx. Trouble with balance today. Seem to be more dizzy.

10:59- stomach and back cramping, lft lymph node on side of neck swollen, congested stuffy nose, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, back aches, rt hip throbbing

August 18

6am- tired. Crashed when I went to bed last night. Congested and stuffy. Face itches. Bad taste in mouth. Thirsty. Feet hurt. Low back aches. Rt hip aches. Ears hurt. 

7a- had to use lint roller on blouse. Just doing that cause upper rt arm to cramp and shooting pain in whole arm. Have to rest it a little bit so I can get ready for church.  Used pain roll on.

Dizzy.

9:40a- neck popped. Neck hurts. Feeling weird inside my brain. Not sure how to explain. Brain kind of swimming. Dizzy more.

Tripped over my feet and almost fell. Ugh! 

 10:26a- chilling burning sensation in middle of back of head down to center middle of neck and back. Eyes feel very heavy trouble keeping awake. Sleepy all of sudden. Don’t feel right.

1:30p- as I was preparing lunch, had to sit and close my eyes bc I couldn’t go anymore. Having friend for lunch but struggling to be hospitable bc trouble keeping eyes open. Serving lunch it started to rain a little. I wonder if that has anything to do with this disabling feeling oversweeping me.

Crashing oncoming to overcome.  

4:00 Joe came to wake me. Scared me in process as I opened my eyes just as he was coming in room. Wasn’t expecting movement and it startled me. He giggled bc he did exact opposite of what he was trying not to do. Still very tired. Feel drained. Lft arm completely numb when I woke.

 Head hurts, neck hurts. Rt hip & lower back throbbing. Stuffy nose.  

5:30p- slight bloody nose.

6:00p- two kids sat with me during church. Gave them color sheets and crayons with which to color. One of girls decided to add to her page. She leans over and asks me what color I was. I chuckled and asked what color do you think I am? She says she didnt know. The other girl whispers, “silly shes tan!” I chuckled even more and said I’ll take that. Kids crack me up with sillezt things sometimes.

11:35p- I’m exhausted and hurting all over. Not mentally prepared for school to start tomorrow. 

Mentioned to a lady that school starts tomorrow. Her response was “So your vacation is over.” I’m hoping she didn’t mean it the way it came out but let’s back this train up. What vacation? I’m never on vacation. We’re raising three children. Homeschooling two teens. Wife. Mother. Pastor’s wife. Lightning strike survivor with complex issues of recovery.  Revitalizing a church. Where in there do I have time to be on vacation??? Let alone the money to even afford one??

Lord, please help first day of school to go smoothly. Thank you.  

Freezing. Socks on feet to warm up. Exhausted and hurting all over. Took 1/2 muscle relaxer and pain rx. Need my sleep for tomorrow.

August 13

5:30a- pain all over body as if I’ve been badly beat up. Eyes watery. Stuffy nose. Toss & turn most of night trying to get comfortable. Random muscle spams thru body. Weird dreams.

10:20a- PT looked at progress so far even with the Costocondritis set back I’m still improving. That’s a relief. Exercises she’s having me do is for core strengthening and to ease the vertigo and headaches. 

10:30a- Praise: My PT (physical therapist) has asked me to be part of a study with some of her students (could be up to 10). Since my case is so unique and complex, it’d be perfect to challenge their brains. 

This is exciting for me because it’s getting the word out in the medical field for lightning survivors and their many complex issues they deal with afterwards. Praying that it’ll trigger medical interest in studying and helping more survivors.

11:50a- at TBI now, pt had me try new exercise. Boy oh boy my lower back is throbbing.

Ron told me he dropped off medical request personally at my old Dr office. He hasn’t heard anything, but when he gets copies of my medical records. He’s going to give me a copy of them. Old Dr office is being burger about releasing my medical records. Ugh!

2:50p- once again I’m stuck in a store bc of thunderstorm. Noticed a pattern. Just minutes prior to storm I get a wave of strange feeling (don’t know how to describe) and feel like I’m about to pass out. This happens before  it’s raining. 

My muscles have tensed up immensely.  When lightning strikes I jump every time. 

Currently sitting on floor behind buggy in front center aisle. Several people have asked if I was okay. Sweet. Explained to 2nd lady I was struck two yrs ago and just waiting storm out.  A store employee asked if I didn’t mind if she asked how it happened.  Told her. She said she wondered if it could do that. I told her it could.

3:40p- finally able to make it home. I need to rest a while. Exhausted. Drinking D.E. to help reduce inflammation plus it has host of other benefits.

5:00p- making dinner (salmon patties, yellow rice, & broccoli) is wearing me out. I ask Jakob to take his sister to vball practice so I can get some rest.

7:05p- While in livingroom, hear odd noise. Got up to investigate. Eventually located  noise coming from bedroom. Alarm went off  but it was seascape noise. It wasn’t very loud either. Don’t know how it got set to 7pm. Hearing is definitely magnified still. Wonder how I would do on a hearing test?

9:30p- I’m exhausted and hurting more. Took  ibuprofen 800mg. 

Took about half hour or so to fall asleep. 

Don’t understand the tourniquet tightening feeling in middle of lower lft leg down to feet. Entire back throbbing especially lower back. Headache. Hands swollen and achy. Sinuses congested. Face hurts. Ringing in ears off and on. 

While in livingroom hear odd noise. 

August 14

7:00a- woke exhausted. Entire body hurts. Gotta work on healing the gutt brain barrier – just not too sure how to on a limited budget. Lord, please provide. 

Entire back throbbing, hands and arms ache, chest aches and is tender to touch, neck hurts, sinuses congested, eyes watery, stomach aches, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, rt elbow aches, 

Need to make list of things I need to get done today. Gotta do better on that. Working on a system for meal planning to make things simpler and easier for me. Brain gets going. Thinking I have all this to do and gets me overwhelmed bc my pace is much slower than used to be. Still working on finding the right balance for me. Summer slipped away and school begins next week. Oh, so much to do and so little time. Lord, I need thee every hour please help.

11:52p- got quite a bit accomplished today though still not ready for school to start Monday. Told Dezirae that first week we’ll have to work thru the hiccups. 

Tomorrow is Joe’s spiritual bday. I’m surprising him with meatball subs for dinner. He’s been craving them. I don’t like ’em. Not fond of sub bread. It’ll have to be crockpot style bc we eat at church on Thursdays. Also going to have kids help me make peanut butter cake with peanut butter icing. Yum!

Whole body aches though I think the Ibuprofuen regimen and D.E. is helping reduce the inflammation. Chest still sore. Still not able to lift much or extinuate myself too much.

Headache, hands swollen and achy, scheduled apt with physical therapist for student lab sessions, shoulders tight and achy, back throbbing, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling, didn’t get the weird sensation and passing out feeling when it thunderstormed today so that blows that theory out the water,  stomach periodicall had sharp achy pains during day, muscles randomly spazzing thru body all day. Ringing in ears off and on. Chest starting to throb. Feet cold. Thirsty.

Thank you, Lord, for helping get done what was accomplished today. Thank you for reminding me to pay mtg. 

August 15

7:45a- made peanut butter chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. 

8:00a- decided I was craving eggs for breakfast. Cooked 2 eggs for myself. Kids can eat the muffins.

8:30a- went outside to check on tomato plant. Need to transplant it but can’t decide where. Decided to harvest my amaranth. 

9:00a- son asked if I was going to food pantry today. Oh, I totally forgot about it!! 

9:20- left for food pantry. At least I didn’t miss it. Ron (a tbi coordinator) was glad to see me. God provided apples. Dezirae has been asking for apples. Thank you, Lord.

1:00p- Muscles in upper torso feel tight and hurt so much that I feel like I’m crashing. Headache. Neck hurts. Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down to rt knee. Toes tingling. Back aches. Muscle feel tight in torso. Hands swollen and achy.

Laying down a bit then need to make Joe’s birthday cake. Heating pad on back for 20 minutes. Took Ibuprofuen 800mg to ease inflammation and pain. I really need to get back on msm. Didn’t realize how much it was helping.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/the-benefits-of-msm-88324

1:30p- printing something for business mtg tonight. Printer not cooperating! Ugh! Dezirae graciously agrees to make cake while I fuss with printer. 

2:30p- made coleslaw for dinner. Had to have Jakob help cut cabbage head in half. Didn’t have enough strength to push knife thru. Using ninja blender to chop cabbage and carrots. 

Poured filtered water into jugs. Rt arm is cramping. Dawns on me left side of brain was struck so my entire rt side is weak. Switch to lft hand to pour water into filter to refill.

Wash few dishes. My rt arm is now throbbing and hurts to move. Low back throbbing from standing too long. 

Asked Dezirae to finish making the peanut butter frosting for cake. We’ll put it on at church to give cake time to cool.

Now need to lay down a piece for muscles to calm so I can keep going. There are days I get frustrated with not being able to do as I could. There are days I am just glad to still be alive.

Trying to teach myself how to type on phone with 2 hands…not doing too well especially with rt hand cramping. Thank the Lord for autocorrect.

 I wonder how one drains the negative effects of lightning strike from the body? Is that such a thing?

6:45p- chatting before service. Mentioned I’m not sure I’m ready for school to start on Monday. Mom surprized Dezirae already has vball game on Monday though co-op doesn’t start til Sept. She tried to scold me for agreeing to start teaching ASL again. It didn’t work. I reminded her that Dr said that TBI patients need to challenge their brains to overcome. She didn’t like that too much. I’m not bothered. No ones going to always agree with what I do or how I do it but as long as my husband is okay with it and I have peace after praying about it – that’s what matterz. Besides, I know my students will be patient with me when I get flustered bc I’m having trouble with my brain to speak syntax. I will also have a mom friend as a helper who has been there for me since my lightning strike. I’ve got confidence my Lord will see me through. (I still have no clue how I made it thru that first year afterwards, but taking this last year off has been a BIG help too.) 

8:30p- husband told me that one of his coworkers had oral surgery today. I thought that was interesting bc I felt God laid that person on my heart this morning so I took time to pray for this person though I didn’t know what going on. Person is doing well and should be able to return to work tomorrow. They said they could feel the prayers and was appreciative of them. 

10:15p- need to have Jordon at work by 6am. I’m exhausted but wide awake. Hurting like crazy all over. Hard to get comfortable. 

August 10

7:30a- fell asleep sometime after midnight. Woke arpubd 4am bc I was almost falling out of bed. Hard time falling back to sleep. Awake again at 7am. 

I hurt horribly all over. Muscles randomly cramping thru body but concentrated in abdomen area. For while it felt like heart was fluttering evertime I took breath. Put hand there to feel muscles fluttering in that area. Severely congested and sneezy. Hurts to breath deep. Neck throbbing. Hands achy and swollen.

Song on heart this morning…

 And Jesus said come to the water stand by my side I know you are thirsty you won’t be denied  I felt every   teardrop when in darkness you cried  and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

9:55a- this explains why sleeping on my stomach feels better on my neck though it’s suggested to sleep on my back https://www.spine-health.com/wellness/sleep/mattresses-and-sleep-positions-each-back-pain-diagnosis

Praying for a dishwasher. I can no longer wash dishes as it causes much pain and grief physically. 

9:40- so tired, tummy hurts, ache all over

10:23p- mid lower lft leg numbish and aches, neck aches, rt hip throbbing, low back aches. I’m exhausted. Hope to sleep tonight. 

August 11

Slept about 6 hours.  Feel like I could sleep longer. 

Having trying day. Forgot to make my energy drink. Forgot my church bag at home – it has my Bible and church bulletins. Ugh! Forgot to get grape juice for communion tonight service. Trouble talking. Equilibrium is very …I’m thinking squirrely but I know not rght wrd. Whatever the word my balance if off and my head feels like it’s being tossed to and fro on a stormy sea. 

Forgot paper that I wrote songs I picked for offeratories for this week. I’m struggling to focus on walking and just being here today. I don’t know how to express what’s going on in order for people to understand my dilemma.

Song leader accidentally skips song. Routine thrown off. Flustered.

Forgot to give my husband the tithe check. Once I sit at piano to play, it takes all my energy to focus to play. If my focus gets broken it throws me off. Struggling to keep my dignity (composure)…just want to cry. Joe asks me about check. I answer but there goes my focus.  I need to run hide to refocus but can’t. In middle of service. Ugh!  

I mess up playing offeratory. Attempting to play and sing special today.  Sound system too loud it’s hurting my ears. I say something and continue. I remember my piano teacher’s wisdom if you mess up while playing keep going. I mess up little bc I lost my place in music. I keep going. I want to cry but remain composure.

My neck, lower back, and rt hip throbbing. Nerve endings pins and needles dancing. 

https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/Understanding-TBI/The-Recovery-Process-For-Traumatic-Brain-Injury

https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/Understanding-TBI/What-Happens-During-Injury-And-In-Early-Stages-Of-Recovery

https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/Understanding-TBI/Brain-Injury-Impact-On-Individuals-Functioning

(as I read this article, my heart cried because I relate to many of symptoms stemming from the tbi. I know not severity or what part of brain was damage bc tests were not taken. I guess in a way I’m mourning the loss of my old self and struggling to figure new self out). 

https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/Understanding-TBI/The-Impact-On-Family-And-How-They-Can-Help

1:30p- feel crashing on coming.

2:30p- woken by lightning

5:30p- Costocondritis rearing it’s ugly head. Center of chest stabbing pain from from to back. Tried to pop chest…only small pop…still throbbing stabbing pain. Take naproxen. Hope it takes edge off by start of church. No lifting for me for quite a while.

6:30p- didn’t make it thru whole song service. Pain so intense I wanted to yell. Told my husband I couldn’t do it anymore. Quit playing piano in middle of song and walked out of auditorium to nursery. Tried to get chest to pop but couldn’t. Mom came to check on me. Told her it’ll eventually pass but it’ll take time. Need to make Dr apt. May need steroids to reduce inflammation. 

https://draxe.com/health/inflammation/costochondritis/

August 12

9:00- hurting so bad all over it hurts to move. Back is stinging. Chest pain much thru to back. Rt hip stinging throbbing. 

Call into Dr. Talked with nurse. Waiting to hear if Dr wants to call in script or see me first. 

Lazy day most of day. Had to take time apart to rest due to Costocondritis. Called Dr. Nurse called back. Said she’d put note into Dr to see what he wants to do.  Nurse called back. Said Dr wants me to try Ibuprofen first before the steroids. Rx called in.

Taking Naproxen right now until I can get the Ibuprofuen.   

Need to go pick up Rx & bsnk. Called Publix to see if rx was ready and how much. Rx 11 for 14 pills. Yikes. Can get store brand for 100/$2. Don’t think so. At least I know Dr wants me to try for a week before calling back. 

Son tried to burn tea bags making tea bc he forgot about it. Almost caught them on fire. Came home to smoky house smells like burnt something. Yuck! Made him clean  pan with baking soda and vinegar.   

Mom came over to massage my feet. Area over right ring to was knotted indicating trouble with lungs area. Couple other tender spots but not like lung area.

Simple dinner – tuna casserole with peas and garlic bread. 

I ache all over. Center of chest very tender and sore. Lower left leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, legs ache like I tried to workout (I didn’t), feet ache, neck throbbing, stuffy nose, congested.

Started taking D.E. today. It’s suppose to help reduce inflammation. Would rather do it naturally as possible. 

Got word that a friend was finally approved for disability today. Praise the Lord! Don’t know how it all works but happy for him.  

10:00p- went to take pm meds/ vitamins. Accidentally took am ones instead. Ugh! 

August 7

Woke up in pain hurting all over. Overslept. Forgot to set alarm. Didn’t finish pt exercises last night bc I fell asleep in middle of them. I was beyond exhausted.

Need to finish planning school lessons. Prepare for church back 2 school party on Saturday. Pay bills. Now husband wants me to put together flier for next month’s event to send to printer in next couple days. I’m stressing out here but trying not to. 

2pm- It’s starting to thunder here. Nerves on edge. Senses seem hightened. Made Amish All Purpose Cleaner. Have to let it sit overnight.

3pm- it’s storming. Nerves hurt. Low back throbbing with burning. Hands swollen and achy. Feet hurt. Left heel feels bruise. It hurts when I step. Utterly exhausted! Need to lay down a while.

8pm- excruciating pain in center of chest. Feels caught won’t let loose. Joe lifted me up and spine cracked all way up. Laid on chase lounge with heating pad for over an hour. Took naproxen to reduce inflammation. The pain causing tears to leak out my eyes.

9:40p- Joe helped me up to go to bed. I’m overly exhausted. Hope to sleep it off.

https://www.healthline.com/health/costochondritis

August 8

5:30a- woke to cramping in back bad. Feels like I’ve been beat up badly. Neck throbbing. Just want to cry . Don’t know what I did to cause this much pain. 

7:27a- attempting to do am pt exercises…only able to do some…too much pain some causeth. Back cramping & throbbing, neck throbbing, headache, rt hip aches, severely congested, arms hurt, feet hurt, lft ear hurts. Think I need thyme tea this morning.

Today is going to be a rest day but thankful I’m alive.

8:50a- just about every move makes my chest and torso hurt worse. Ugh!  

Decided to try to balance checkbook and pay bills. Not easy task these days. Finished making the All Purpose Cleaner with Thieves. 

10:22- took me almost two hours to figure out mistake I made in checkbook and get it balance. Brain feels blurry and hurts. Vision feels blurred. 

12:00- ate lunch – leftovers. First thing I ate today. Not hungry. I hurt so bad all over. Chest pain increaseth. Exhausted. Taking pain rx. Just want to go back to bed.

1:50p- dinner in crockpot (kielbasa, potatoes, green beans, & red beans). Time to lay down a piece. Hopefully, some rest will ease up pain. Sadly if chest pain doesn’t ease I’m gonna need to gp to Dr’s. Sneaky suspicion I may need steroid to ease up the inflammation. Wonder if there’s a natural remedy?

7:23p- rt hip chilling burning pain, it hurt my hands and arms to play piano tonight, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling and numbish, neck aches, center of chest aches. Realized why I feel chilled in rt hip…my water bottle is behind me. Lol

10:40p- tried to do pm pt exercises. Nope. Made pain increase so I stopped. so wish I could fall asleep as fast as Joe. Big rt toe feeling weird. It’s like electrical pulses are vibrating thru it. Lower left leg just above ankle and down feels numbish and aches, calves ache, buttoxk aches, rt hip throbbing, center of chest hurts, lower back throbbing, headache, neck throbbing, hands ache, tingling sensation traveling randomly in back,  eyes hurt. I’m exhausted. Tired to do night pt exercises. Stopped after second one because it increaseth my chest pain. Frustrating! Must rest a few days.

11:50p- upper back stinging and cramping, center of chest hurting worse

August 9

6:50a- almost 1am before I was able to fall asleep. I hurt so bad I don’t want to get up. I dislike when I hurt this bad bc it’s easy to be grumpy and snappish. I don’t want to be that way towards my family bc they already put up with so much. I hurt all over.  

9:08a- just had funniest thing to me happen. Got robot call reminding me my rx was ready. I started laughing because I had called on it yday and mentioned I hadn’t gotten call yet. When I started laughing, the computer paused. When I was quiet, the computer would start all over again. It repeated about 5xs or so. I needed the laugh. 

2:23p- out running errands. No wheelchairs available at walmart. Walk behind buggy. 3/4 way thru pain too much and pooped out. Sitting on floor to rest so I can finish up. Family sweet enough to run get items still needed. Afraid to see bill. Cold feels good on aching body. 

2:30p- started to not feel well…lightheaded & feeling like I’m going to pass out. Few minutes later bottom let loose & it started thunderstorming. Ugh! 

Had to sit down for little bit. Decided to chew gum to see if that’ll help. It helped ease the passing out feeling.

3:00p- So we’re stuck inside Wal-Mart for a while & I’m exhausted due to no wheelchairs. Trying to keep calm in between lightning strikes. I’ve already jumped couple times but so didn’t other people. 

3:45p- rain let up enough to go to car. Son accidentally dumped cupcakes over messing up 80% of them. Ugh! Think they’ll be salvageable but won’t look that pretty. 

4:00p- made it home safe. Able to salvage all but 1 cupcake.  Now resting a piece hoping my nerves will calm down from fight or flight mode. Whole body throbbing, nerves in legs jumping, back throbbing, stinging, neck throbbing, headache, upper back stinging, rt side cramping