Category: My Healing Journey

2019 Jan 25-26

Jan 25

12:47a- Im freezing!!!

8:00a- woke with headache. Ugh!

4:49p- been busy day. Went with Joe to get clutch kit for car & deposit a check. Stopped at store to pick up a few items & ice. Neighbor shot a deer and gave it to us. Joe & kids skinned & cut it up for cooler to drain blood. Had to pick up a car we are borrowing for weekend. Picked up my headache rx. Guy asked Joe to check it out bc he thought it might have bad gas and was shifting odd. Family went for test drive. Joe confirmed bad gas. I forgot to return movie!

My cheeks are flushed and warm even to the touch. Exhausted. Only thing I’ve eaten all day is two eggs and bagel. I’m not hungry just thirsty. Need to rest before my bones hurt worse.

5:14p- muscles in legs are twitching, low back aches

11:59p- movie returned. Bulletin done. Valentine sign up done. Almost packed. Tried for long time to find specific socks had Dezirae helping couldnt find them. Gave up to finish bulletin. Joe found them in my sock drawer. Yeah! Need to keep feet warm on trip. Feet are like ice right now. Ankles hurt. Eyes watering. Legs ache. Low rt back & hip aching. Stomach sore. Arms ache. Head hurts. Tired but wide awake. Fingers and hands hurt.  Skin beginning to feel itchy.

God is so good! In the midst of our current trial, God had food delivered to our back door!!

Jan 26

7:00a- Good morning! Mixed emotions flowing through my bank. My whole body hurts! Headache! I’ve got to figure a remedy. I don’t function well when my head hurts this bad. Too much to do to finish getting ready for the trip. I really should make a list but my head hurts too much to think of what to list. Ugh!

8:00a- Kids volunteer to help me finish getting ready. Sweet. They’re excited to stay with grandparents while we’re out of town. 

9:30a- Decided to paint my nails with metallic nail polish. I like the wavy design it makes.  Took me over an hour bc I kept messing up my thumb nails. Think I redid my lft thumb 10 times, but I got it done. They’re not perfect but it makes me feel better when they look nice.

12:30p- car is packed. Kids dropped off at grandparents. Nerves on edge. I’m exhausted.

12:59p- chilling, icy sensation at base of neck starting to travel down neck. Don’t know why it happens but it feels weird.

1:25p- trying to sew my boots I managed to poke myself with the eye of the needle. Ouch! Gauged my rt index nail. Ugh! Have to put bandaid on to stop bleeding. One more boot to go.

1:50p- decided to use pocket knife as thimble. Poking your fingers with needle hurts. Thread broke when almost done. Stopping for now. My brain hurts!!! Still have to do my toe. Joe says your having trouble with that. To which I reply that’s my every day.  Not gonna quit it just takes me a lot longer to get it down. I’m exhausted! Rt arm cramping.

2:50p- pit stop. Bought ice coffee to see if it’s gonna help my headache & maybe give me energy. I’m tired of taking medicine. Have 6 more days of thrush medicine 4xs day. Yuck! On positive note, my tongue is finally starting to look pink again. 

On way out, a young boy about 8 or so decided to hold open the automatic door. I decided to acknowledge his thoughtfulness and said “Thank you, young man!” He tickled me because he immediately began grinning ear to ear and joyfully replied “You’re welcome!” He had a skip to his step after that. Things that make you smile 

3:47p boot finally fixed. Head still throbbing. Working crossword now. I see the letters A N E V E D N A in top right corner but in my mind at first glance I see Never Do That Again. Shake head read again and I actually see the letters. Might as well as giggle at it. It makes no sense what my mind decifers at times. If I could only get someone to explain. If I don’t giggle and find humor in it all I may end up crying. 

4:30p- can’t take pain anymore taking pain rx gotta get rid of headache.

4:45p- we discussed diploma track for Jordon. Need to sit down with admin for sounding board and help with direction. Overall think doing good. He’ll have 18.5 credits end of sophmore year.

5:30p- broke another nail – 3rd one since started trip- how does one break a nail sitting in a car? Ugh! Headache starting to ease.

6:40p- headache is almost gone

8:00p- stopped for dinner at Waffle House. Now headed to final destination 

Interesting: last couple times I’ve craved chocolate prior to headache never thought about it or put two together

https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/ss/slideshow-migraine-warning-signs?ecd=soc_fb_181030_cons_ss_migraine&linkId=100000003904486

10:35p- can’t believe the difference one Tylenol and one tramadol did for pain in the entire body. Still want to research natural resources for pain. Checking into copaiba. Just need to figure out the dosage. 

Copaiba Oil: 10 Things You Need to Know About This Essential Oil

Slight headache, hands swollen and achy, skin starting to get itchy (mostly at night when I go to bed), neck tender, low back achy,   

*AN IMPORTANT NOTE:  This blog is not in any way offered as a prescription, diagnosis, or treatment for any disease, illness, infirmity, or physical condition.  Any form of self-treatment or alternative health program necessarily must involve an individual’s acceptance of some risk, and no one should assume otherwise.  Persons needing medical care should obtain it from a physician.  Any links shared are only meant for helping one find additional information discussed in a blog post.

2019 Jan 23 – 24

Jan 23

2:47a- still wide awake. Headache has become migraine. Seeing spots in the dark. Skin feels like pins and needles. Background light all way down plus night owl on and this light still hurs eyes. Praying. 10 breaths. Counting blessing. Muscles shaking. Need to calm brain. Next quote scripture. 

6:40a- last time I looked at clock it was 3:17a when I was reaching for melatonin. Awake again.

8:15a- realized I still needed to fix hair and put makeup on. My left hand jerked while putting mascara on and accidentally poked myself in eye with mascara wand. Ouch!

9:12a- made it to co-op in nick of time. Wanted to be there earlier. Headache has already started.

Wind blowing so hard outside I can hear it whistling inside.

2:00p- went to pick up my 2nd round of rx, but found out that they were out of stock. Tech called two other pharmacies and they were out of stock too! Ugh! I don’t have energy for this. Lord, please help.

 3:20p- after little rest I was able to find it at CVS with coupon from goodrx. Thank you Lord.

4:00p- storm rolls through. Too close thunder and lightning roll sounds like boom close to house. Scares me!!! Nerves instantly on edge! Lord keep me safe til the storm passes by!

8:30p- crashed for about 20 minutes. I’m still tired.

9:30p- had Dezirae braid my hair so it’ll be wavy tomorrow. 

10:22p- need to switch to magnesium malate (it helps defeat thrush plus other benefits)

https://www-purehimalayanshilajit-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.purehimalayanshilajit.com/magnesium-malate/amp?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCCAE%3D#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.purehimalayanshilajit.com%2Fmagnesium-malate%2F

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-proven-magnesium-benefits#section11

https://aor.ca/blog/understanding-different-types-of-magnesium

10:45p- feet hurt, legs cramping, hands swollen and achy, eyes bright sensitive, loud noise sensitive, tired but still awake. Feel like I’m forgetting to do something but not remembering. Hmm?

11:36p- skin itches, brain hurts, eyes watery, extra thirsty, hurt all over, tailbone aches, rt hip aching

How does one stop neuropathic itching? Ugh! I just need some sleep please Lord I’m so exhausted.

Jan 24

4:30a- woke thinking I woke up late.

Legs cramping. Headache. Sneezing. Throat dry. 

 Have to take Joe to work bc I need car for sons dental apt. Had fleeting thought of rescheduling but it’s already been rescheduled once before. 

He is working at a post I’ve not been to before today. Had to use GPS to get home. unfamiliar territory. Almost got lost in the parking lot. Just want to cry. Can’t cry need to focus on the road hard enough in the dark as it is.

7:15a- gonna take a nap. I’m exhausted. Need to get rid of headache.

8:00a headache has eased. Hands & left arm numb and tingly. Tummy gurgling (it has been for a few days now. Not sure what that means). 

10:56a- at dentist office Jordon getting cavity filled. waited (wish I had analog clock) 45 minutes before he was called back…think we’d still be in waiting area if I didn’t ask how much longer. 

Feet freezing, headache easing (took migraine rx), hands swollen and achy, lights bright bother eyes, man playing game/video on his tablet across room is as loud as tv, low back & rt hip aching, neck hurts, wish I could calm the itchies.

1:30p- need to pick Joe up from work. Have kids with me to help navigate. I only remember to certain point. Dezirae remembers most of it. Jordon knows how to retrace steps on GPS on phone. I’m a little nerve wracked about it, but trusting God to help us.

2:08p- I made one wrong turn but we didn’t do too bad. A brownish-red bird just flew into the windshield. Scared me. I saw the bird but not expecting it to hit us!  Nerves on edge. I’m tired and feel weak.

2:40p- I just want to cry!!! Our only vehicle just broke down on side of road. The clutch broke. Auto mechanic said it would cost over $1,000 to fix it. We don’t have that kind of $. Lord, what do we do now?

5:03p- Just got car towed to house. Now on way to church for services tonight. Not sure about getting car fixed but I can pray for God to provide.

Mr Tow Truck guy suggested calling around for prices.

Center of chest is turning icy. 

7:21p- Not too familiar with #77 – O That Will Be Glory practiced okay but couldn’t keep up during song service ended up plucking one note. Ugh! Forgot how to end song. Ugh! 

Though flustered all’s fairly well considering all the stress that’s going on especially today with the car breaking down 

2019 Jan 19-22

Jan 19

7:30a- fell asleep sometime after 1am. Woke sometime in middle of night to nose dripping. Grabbed kerchief to stop it. Checked with phone light. My nose was bleeding. Had to sit up bc I started choking. Took a bit to get it to stop. Feels like life drains out of me when it happens. Don’t like that feeling.

I’m aching awfully all over. Hurts to move. 

8:35a- just sitting in bed and nose starts bleeding again. Ugh! I don’t understand what’s causing them nor how to fix it.

5:00 Joe cooking dinner for Dezirae’s dinner – grilled kabobs & bacon wrapped asparagus.

7:08p- sitting at table after clearing table from dinner my nose started bleeding again. I dislike bloody noses – it makes feel very weak afterwards. Took 5 minutes to stop. 

11:58p- my lower back aches as if aunt flow will visit soon. Some days I feel like I can’t catch a break. I had a good day overall.

Jan 20

7:00a- I slept decent I think last night. Woke in a sweat like my body’s decided to start perimenopause symptoms again. I was experiencing it prior to the strike, but it stopped after being hit.  So though most women would hate having those symptoms I’m thankful because to me it maybe that my body might be becoming more normal – though I don’t really know what that is any more.

3:00p- laid down in nursery to take a nap. Just as I was dozing off Joe came into room to tell me about phone call. Not able to fall asleep. lower back throbbing. 

5:30p- Mom asked me about my homemade ranch dip mix recipe. Figured out I made blooper on some of ingredients. No wonder it’s been too strong. Haha!

6:12p- vision is blurry. Muddled through playing piano tonight. Trouble focusing and knowing where we’re at. Neck hurts.

10:18p- I’m exhausted. Hopefully I’ll fall asleep quickly. Whole body aches.

Jan 21

8:00a- forgot to set alarm. Not sure when I fell asleep but it was sometime after midnight. Slept pretty hard I guess. Brr! It’s cold in here.

9:00a- Need to finish grades for 2nd quarter. 

12:30p- My eyes & brain are getting blurry.  I keep thinking, “How did I do this last year. This hurts my brain?” Need to take brake.

2:00p- I’m feeling exhausted all of a sudden need to crash for a bit

8:03p- legs ache, thrush still not gone though I am finally seeing spots of red on tongue…not sure if I should get rx refilled or call Dr. 

11:55p- center of chest aches. Found exercise that helps pop chest to alleviate sharp pain (toe stretches – not what I think it’s officially called but it’ll help me remember), rt hip hurts, lft hand and fingers went numb today, rt ear aches, low back hurts. I just heard an owl in our back yard – that’s pretty cool. He’s quite noisy tonight. I wonder what he’s saying.

Jan 22

8:00a- woke with intermittent twitching in left leg, headache slight, stomach aches slightly, rt ear ringing, 

12:00p- trying to finish up grades to turn in tomorrow. Eyes getting blurry. Putting on glasses to see if that will help some. Nope.

2:00p- center of back feels like ice – need to go warm up!

8:41p- center of back feels like ice again. Remembered I have an electric heating pad. Think I’ll use that to warm up with cup of hot chocolate with coconut oil. 

11:49p- back of tongue is finally starting to look pink front of tongue not so much. Able to finish kids grades today and able to turn in tomorrow. Yeah! Heating pad & hot chocolate didn’t happen.  I tried sitting but it hurt too much so I got up and got sidetracked -washed load of clothes

Lo back hurts, feet ache, headache, eyes watery hands swollen and tingly, neck hurts. Skin feels like pins and needles

2019 Jan 17-18

Jan 17

9:15a- woke to legs cramping, lower back throbbing, hands and arms swollen and hurting, cotton mouth, head hurts, lft ear ringing

11:30a- sharp pain on rt side of head. Touched area where it was hurting. Cyst popped. 

7:23p- face feels flushed & hot. Throat is scratchy. Chest is starting to throb.

11:00p- wide awake. Sharp pain in center of chest. I overdid it with doing bulletin board at church. Any physical activity causes some degree of pain afterwards. 

Working on praying biblical characters for your family. Once I get it done I’ll post it on my blog.  Gotta work on tax info to take to CPA. I couldn’t do it anymore even if I wanted to bc added stress causes all my nerve endings to feel like on fire and bc I get confused easily when it comes to that stuff I’d for sure mess it up. Gotta finish school grades for 2nd quarter. 

Skin itchy. Elbows ache, hands and fingers throbbing, feet freezing. 

Just imagine how us humans feel after being struck by lightning. Trouble is no doctors seem to be concerned enough to study it out to help the thousands of survivors that live to tell about it!

Link I shared on FB was deleted.  Don’t recall what it was.

Jan 18

1:00a- still awake. It’s much harder to fall asleep when pain is so intense.

6:30a- woke to severe pain in center of chest like rib bones are caught against each other and won’t let loose or something like that. Using eo pain roller on chest to ease pain so I can go back to sleep. Feels like I broke another fever.

8:00a- chest pain has eased slightly – eo pain roller has helped. Hands swollen and tingly (like waking up from sleep), low back aches, skin sensitive and slight itchy, rt hip aching.

Thankful to wake another day.

12:00p- Able to post more to my blog.  Upper back stinging needle pain. Brain hurts and feeling cross-eyed a bit. Need to rest a bit.

2:29p- a/c outlet replaced

3:40p- My mom & Dezirae are touching up ceilings from when lights were changed out last year in my husband’s office & SS room. I’ve help a couple times (they won’t let me do any more). Any activity above heart causes great pain.  

6:56p- craving chocolate, rt hip aching, tired, general feeling of malaise

10:43p- I can feel a storm is coming. My muscles are twitching randomly throughout body, calves are tight and ache, rt hip aches, neck region tight and achy, slight headache, hands and fingers swollen and achy.

11:36p- working on balloons for Dezirae’s door in morning for her birthday. Got cold chilling sensation at base of neck and is working down shoulders to back. Feels weird. 

2019 Jan 15-16

Jan 15

4:00p – went to pick up Dezirae’s glasses. Needed to get 9v battery. Decided to go to Wal-Mart so I could get milk & laundry sent booster. Knew I didn’t have cash and needed to use bank card. 

Unable to pull out shopping cart. Had Dezirae help. Legs & feet started throbbing while walking behind cart. Legs begin feeling like lead balloons. Went to check out and discovered that I didn’t have checkbook. Ugh! Had to go home & get it. Decided to go to Dollar store instead.

5:30p back home. Dezirae helped with dinner. So thankful. Steak tips & gravy over mashed potatoes & corn. Yummy!

Guys worked on putting shelf back in Dezirae’s closet. 

6:00p- I finally have Jordon’s 2nd quarter grades done. Now to document Dezirae’s. They’re due on Friday. I feel like I’m late bc I used to have them done within days of quarter ending. Hard for me to stay on top of things now. 

6:45p- took shower. Arms started throbbing while washing hair. I’m still not able to lift arms over heart very long my arms throbbing horribly. I don’t comprehend it. Dr’s don’t seem to understand. Still seaking out answers. Wore out. 

10:19p- I think I’m beginning to feel a little better. Had periods of clarity of thought today. Still get disctracted easily. It amused Dezirae (trying to drain juice from vegetable broth I made, but ended up doing something else. Veggie scraps sat in strainer for a while til I got back around to it when I saw it sitting in sink & Dezirae pointed it out to me). I don’t recall what distracted me. Oh, I think I still have load of clothes sitting in washer. Oh, well.  Oh, no! I forgot to order Dezirae’s birthday cake. I’ll have to do that tomorrow for sure.

Tongue still looks aweful to me. Joe said he thought it’s looking better. It’s getting easier to swallow. I’ve been eating soft foods & limiting sugary foods. Still have several days of yucky rx to swish & swallow.

Legs & feet ache, arms sore like I worked out (which I’m obviously unable to do right now – a one point 6 something gallon laundry soap container is hard for me to hold without dropping right now), hands and wrists swollen & aching, neck hurts – not able to move it too far without causing pain like a crick in neck, rt ear ringing periodically, inner rt ear itches once in a while. Postives – 2nd day without major headache.  

Joe told me I wasn’t suppose to rinse mouth out with water after using rx. Just looked it up. He’s right. I’m not taking it right at all. Ugh! I told pharmacist I had not taken before. Internet says something different than I remember being told. Frustrating! 

There’s always tomorrow to start taking it right. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. 

Jan 16

12:28a- still awake. Muscles in legs twitching. It gets annoying after while. Cannot take melatonin or muscle relaxer or I won’t be alert enough for co-op classes tomorrow. Ugh! Hope it stops soon. Lower back throbbing. Very thirsty.

5:30a- finally fell asleep sometime after 12:30am. Woke to Joe giving me kiss goodbye. Heard strange sound but couldn’t figure out where it coming from. 

6:30a- hands & wrists swollen and achy. Still hear noise – figured out it was toilet. Had to get up to fix it. Low back hurts. Headache starting. 

10:50a- Dezirae’s excited because in choir one of the songs they are learning is “Even in the Valley God is Good”. 

11:15a- nerve endings tingling, pain in jaw is diminishing, headache has eased

Young choir practicing Patch the Pirate songs. I already know them. Yeah!  I feel like I grew up on Patch the Pirate adventures! Gotta figure out how to get cassette tapes converted to cd. I guess rx is beginning to work. 

12:40p- I’m enjoying US Geography co-op class this year. I chose to help in class this year to help me relearn some of information that I lost from brain injury. It’s fun watching kids getting excited about learning. It pushes my brain and most days I end up with headache. Co-op is taxing on me overall and I’m usually done for day afterwards. My kids love it.  

8:37p- just posted devotional to my blog. I’m exhausted. Need to rest. 

10:15p- I am tuckered out. Hopefully, I’ll fall asleep fast. Goodnight. 

2019 Jan 13-14

Jan 13

6:00a- woke to hands, wrists, ankles, & feet throbbing! Muscles in calves twitching. I’d video tape but can’t see inside my legs. Low back throbbing. Slow going this morning. Hard to get motivated to move when you hurt so much.

1:35p- I’m exhausted cannot push myself more.  Need to take nap. Laying down in nursery.

10:54p- I’m exhausted and hurting all over. It’s been a good day in the Lord’s house. Feet are freezing. Have heating pad on them to warm up. Itchy skin. Calves cramping. Chest hurts. Fingers ache. Hands & wrists swollen. Eyes watery. Congested. Stuffy nose. Feet freezing but perspiring. I don’t get that one. Tongue still covered…actually looks worse than Friday. 

https://www.healthline.com/symptom/raynaud’s-phenomenon

Jan 14

8:52a- having such a hard time waking up like I took sleeping pill or something (only took 3mg melatonin). Not like I haven’t tried…been trying since 6:30a. Whole body aches. Fingers tingling. Lower back aches. Neck hurts to move very far.

12:00p- just tracing three hearts for church bulletin board made me feel cross-eyed and dizzy. Time for break.

12:40p- traced other four hearts and laminated them. Need to make tea. 

1:30p- started making ramen soup but got side tracked organizing pantry. Tried to pick up two glass containers but lost grip and they clanged. Brown sugar jar broke! Kids jumped into help as soon as I asked for help. Transferred to empty container only lost a little. 

Had to have Jordon adjust shelf to depth I wanted. Couldn’t figure out or budge shelf to adjust it. Taking more effort than I planned.

2:50p- just realized I forgot to plug in crockpot for supper tonight! Ugh! 

3:00p- finally sitting down to eat lunch (my soup). I’m exhausted. Could’ve stayed in bed all day the way I’m feeling. Had goal to get pantry reorganized today and wanted to get it done. Took me several hours, but it’s almost done. Have to get one of kids to sweep floor. Time to rest again.  

5:00p- Crashed for I don’t know how long. Decided to get up and go put away some laundry. Ended up hanging Joe’s suits with matching shirts & ties. One load of laundry folded on bed. Arms hurt so bad!!!  Have to rest a bit to put clothes away.  Didn’t used to be this way. Learning my new limitations has been a chore. One day I’ll figure it out. 

7:55 face feels hot & flushed. Chills down back starting at base of neck.

Having trouble speaking – slurring words

10:39a- Added Vitamin C 1000mg 2x daily to boost immune system. I just realized that I haven’t had a headache all day. It’s been a long time since I could say that. Thank you, Lord! 

Positive Note

“It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than to complain about what is not given. One or the other becomes a habit of life.”  -Elisabeth Elliot

We can’t control all the adversities in life, but we can trust God to guide us through them.

1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Doesn’t that give you a wonderful peace knowing that there is a God in Heaven that cares about you?

Jan 9

8:00a- slept a little longer than 6 hours. Good. Hands & arms numb & tingling. Low back throbbing. Legs crampy.

8:32p- I am exhausted. Needed to balance checkbook and pay some bills. Ended up trying to collect info for filing taxes. Got myself confused. Took me four hours and a headache.

Also had to go grocery shopping. New menu board is helping. Thank goodness. Dezirae helped me shop. By time we were done, I felt like I was gonna pass out & hurt all over.

Joe & Dezirae helped bring in groceries while I started putting them away. Dezirae helped finish put items away and then I started working on dinner.  

A simple meal (Chicken pot pie, sweet potatoes, & cherry crisp) took me two hours to fix bc I was moving slower than normal due to exhaustion and pain. I wasn’t even hungry by the time it was ready. I even forgot to eat lunch. 

9:56p- tongue has been bothering me most of day. Just looked at it in mirror.  Looks like lesions forming again and it’s covered in white! Ugh! 

Asked question on Facebook. Two responses: geographic tongue or thrush

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.epainassist.com/amp/home-remedies/amazing-home-remedies-to-get-rid-of-geographic-tongue

https://www.healthline.com/health/home-remedies-for-thrush#symptoms

Jan 10

7:30a- having trouble waking. Muscles cramping everywhere. Cotton mouth. Fingers numb & tingly. Left ear ringing. Neck hurts. It hurts to move. 

9:43a- I am so tired. No energy. 

thewholejourney.com/could-it-be-candida

11:54a- Periodic chills throughout day, legs feel heavy & crampy. Trying to get kids grades together to turn in for second quarter. I keep confusing myself on subject and what quizzes were taken & when. Thought I was behind on Jordon’s Science quizzes, but ended up working ahead couple of weeks. Not a bad thing in my state of mind. I have one more subject for him & then I can concentrate on Dezirae. She won’t be as hard -I think- bc she’s not in high school yet.

4:00p- called an made Dr apt for tomorrow at 2pm. Tongue is bothering me. Neck is throbbing rt side. Headache. Tired & no umpf. 

10:29p- Really messing up my words, phrases, etc tonight. Had family in stitches. I’m not even comprehending what I messed up. Whatever I said, one of my kids asked if I needed a lightbulb. I just rolled with it and claimed, “Oh, the abuse I get from my own family. There’s no safe place to run. Oh!” They cracked up even more.

At least we can still have fun together even if it’s at my experience. LOL!

Chest is bothering me tonight. It hurts to laugh. I told Joe don’t make me laugh your hurting me. It was too late anyway bc they were already laughing over what I messed up on that was so funny.

2019 Jan 23-24

Jan 23

2:47a- still wide awake. Headache has become a migraine. Seeing spots in the dark. Skin feels like pins and needles. Background light all way down plus night owl on and this light still hurts eyes. Praying. 10 breaths. Counting blessing. Muscles shaking. Need to calm brain. Next quote Scripture. 

6:40a- last time I looked at clock it was 3:17a when I was reaching for melatonin. Awake again.

8:15a- realized I still needed to fix hair and put makeup on. My left hand jerked while putting mascara on and accidentally poked myself in eye with mascara wand. Ouch!

9:12a- made it to co-op in nick of time. Wanted to be there earlier. Headache has already started.

Wind blowing so hard outside I can hear it whistling inside.

2:00p- went to pick up my 2nd round of rx, but found out that they were out of stock. Tech called two other pharmacies and they were out of stock too! Ugh! I don’t have energy for this. Lord, please help.

 3:20p- after little rest I was able to find it at CVS with coupon from goodrx. Thank you Lord.

4:00p- storm rolls through. Too close thunder and lightning roll sounds like boom close to house. Scares me!!! Nerves instantly on edge! Lord keep me safe til the storm passes by!

8:30p- crashed for about 20 minutes. I’m still tired.

9:30p- had Dezirae braid my hair so it’ll be wavy tomorrow. 

10:22p- need to switch to magnesium malate (it helps defeat thrush plus other benefits)

https://www-purehimalayanshilajit-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.purehimalayanshilajit.com/magnesium-malate/amp?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCCAE%3D#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.purehimalayanshilajit.com%2Fmagnesium-malate%2F

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-proven-magnesium-benefits#section11

https://aor.ca/blog/understanding-different-types-of-magnesium

10:45p- feet hurt, legs cramping, hands swollen and achy, eyes bright sensitive, loud noise sensitive, tired but still awake. Feel like I’m forgetting to do something but not remembering. Hmm?

11:36p- skin itches, brain hurts, eyes watery, extra thirsty, hurt all over, tailbone aches, rt hip aching

How does one stop neuropathic itching? Ugh! I just need some sleep please Lord I’m so exhausted.

Jan 24

4:30a- woke thinking I woke up late.

Legs cramping. Headache. Sneezing. Throat dry. 

 Have to take Joe to work bc I need car for sons dental apt. Had fleeting thought of rescheduling but it’s already been rescheduled once before. 

He working at post I’ve not been to before today. Had to use GPS to get home. unfamiliar territory. Almost got lost in parking lot. Just want to cry. Can’t cry need to focus on road hard enough in dark as it is.

7:15a- gonna take a nap. I’m exhausted. Need to get rid of headache.

8:00a headache has eased. Hands & left arm numb and tingly. Tummy gurgling (it has been for a few days now. Not sure what that means). 

10:56a- at dentist office Jordon getting cavity filled. waited (wish I had analog clock) 45 minutes before he was called back…think we’d still be in waiting area if I didn’t ask how much longer. 

Feet freezing, headache easing (took migraine rx), hands swollen and achy, lights bright bother eyes, man playing game/video on his tablet across room is as loud as tv, low back & rt hip aching, neck hurts, wish I could calm the itchies.

1:30p- need to pick Joe up from work. Have kids with me to help navigate. I only remember to certain point. Dezirae remembers most of it. Jordon knows how to retrace steps on GPS on phone. I’m a little nerve wracked about it, but trusting God to help us.

2:08p- I made one wrong turn but we didn’t do tpo bad. A brownish red bird just flew into windshield. Scared me. I saw bird but not expecting it to hit us!  Nerves on edge. I’m tired and feel weak.

2:40p- I just want to cry!!! Our only vehicle just broke down on side of road. The clutch broke. Auto mechanic said it would cost over $1,000 to fix it. We don’t have that kind of $. Lord, what do we do now?

5:03p- Just got car towed to house. Now on way to church for services tonight. Not sure about getting car fixed but I can pray for God to provide.

Mr Tow Truck guy suggested calling around for prices. Mr Transmission on Airport to check price.

Center of chest is turning icy. 

7:21p- Not too familiar with #77 O That Will Be Glory practiced okay but couldn’t keep up during song service ended up plucking one note. Ugh! Forgot how to end song. Ugh! 

Though flustered all’s fairly well considering all the stress that’s going on especially today with car breaking down 

 

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Jan 5

7:00a- I’m so tired. Neck hurts, rt hip aches, hands tingly & achy, feet ache, legs hurt & feel like I tried to run a while, stuffy & congested. I am cold.

Strange dream…I lost something important (don’t recall what it was) was  running to find it looking everywhere but it was nowhere to be found.  

7:30a- headache has already set in. Taking rx to get gone. Hands quite swollen. Ring is cutting off the circulation on lft finger. I don’t like not being able to wear my ring.

10:00a- visitation Joe made me stay at church so I wouldn’t overdo it. I’ve been doing that a lot this week. Seems as if I’ve taken two steps backwards. If I could only get the pain to diminish, I could get more things done. 

12:00p- started working on bulletin, Bible certificates, and other things we need for tomorrow. Gonna take most rest of day bc I can only do so much and have to take breaks so it won’t give me headache.

2:00p taking a break to relax in chair in the livingroom. Enjoying hallmark with Dezirae while guys are hunting.  

10:30p finally finished printing last thing we need for tomorrow – at least I think so. Finding that lists are my friend more and more – only struggle to remember where I wrote them. 

I’m tired and hurting.

10:43p attempted to french braid my own hair for first time since injury. Able to do it, but oh the pain! Any time I have to raise my arms it causes great pain in my arms, hands, upper back, shoulders, & neck.  Palms itch. If I could only figure out how to overcome that obstacle, I could get a lot more done. Hair will be wavy for church tomorrow.  🙁  Usually, if I want my hair done, I have to ask for help. 

Lower back aches, feet tingly, hands swollen, achy, & tingly, tongue still patchy white – have to take 2nd dose of flucanazole.  Hurt all over. I’m cold.

Jan 6

6:50a- Woke from strange dream

8:30a- Having rough morning. Parts of me itches like crazy, parts feel like it’s on fire. Bad headache. Severely congested as if having allergy attack. Hands swollen and achy. At least my feet are warm for now. I’m exhausted.

Applied Lavender, Frankincense, coconut oil to itchy skin, took nasal spray, zyrtec, & naproxen. Drinking plexus slim on way to church.

Listening to CD from Lighthouse on way to church. It blesses my soul and calms my spirit. I Bless Your name, Lord! Thank you for all that You are and your mercy on me. Help me to focus on You and all that is eternally important. My suffering will only be temporary for Joy comes in the morning! 

9:39a- Tried to pick up my Bible for prayer time, but my fingers failed me. I couldn’t hold it, dropped it to floor and jammed my thumb. Ouch! 

12:00p- Joe changed up order of services without prior warning. It totally upset me. Hymns – only singing 2 verses instead of three  & cut out a hymn to save time (it happened to be one of hymns better I can play). He decided to show 2018 slides again, bc several members were sick when he showed them last week. He apologized for throwing everyone off. I thought, “Excuse me?  What about your wife who’s having difficulties functioning as it goes most days as it is? Now you’re throwing my routine off in church and I’m suppose to keep my composure and I’m singing the special music next? Lord, help me bc I just want to run away right now.” Apparently, while I was deep in thought, I was giving him the evil eye bc he said something about looking at him that way. And I heard someone say, “I know that look and you’re in trouble” or something like that. 

I thought, “Lord, help me.” 

Got up behind pulpit to sing & temporarily forgot the tune to the song. Ugh! Inside I cried, “Lord, I know You’re there bc I’m about to sing You’re there all the time but how am I gonna do that if I can’t remember how it goes? I made it through the song but not without a few off notes. I hate when I mess up. Sang from heart though. My Lord has been and is there all the time in every trial and circumstance. Thank you, Lord.

12:30p- Joe informed me that he invited a church family to stay and eat lunch with us. I was okay with that. However, the meat some how ended up getting turned on warm instead of high and it would take quite a while for it to be ready. Joe ended up running to local grocery store to pick up some fried chicken to save the day. I enjoyed the fellowship. I was exhausted though and doing my best to hang on. It’s hard to think straight when my brain has been taxed this much.  

4:07p- Crashed around 2pm and slept almost two hours. Waking up from nap I stretched and got a cramp in my upper back. How does that even happen? Not funny. 

7:00p- My husband and I had privilege of explaining the meaning of eternal life with a young girl after church tonight. It’s a joy to share the light of God’s truths.

10:53p- Center of chest hurting, sharp pain in right elbow, rt hand aches. Tired but awake. Bright lights bother eyes. I think I need to get eyes checked at different doctor. My vision seems to be getting blurrier in the distance. Hands are now numb and tingly. Upper body hurts.