Author: Melissa

August 6, 2017

8:08am – I hate taking so much Rx!  Bp is 137/92.  I don’t like feeling like this…unbalanced, back pain, dizzy, & something’s wrong 🙁

I can only move at a turtle’s pace or I get dizzy.

11:23am – Couldn’t play the piano for church today – too dizzy.  It was nice singing for a change, but some of the music notes made me dizzy.  It was like I could see the notes dancing off the page making me dizzy.  I had to stop.

8:34pm – My eyes are hurting and sensitive to bright lights.  Have to wear sunglasses inside.

For those whose ailments make it difficult to go to church, I understand now. I’m not going to let my current trial keep me from church.
I loved all the (((hugs))) from the kids today. It made my day.  I’m flat wore out, but feel blessed.

August 7, 2107

I love how God puts nuggets of love in His Word for us.

“Zephaniah 3:17 – The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”

8:38am – Took a little while to fall asleep last night because just as I was drifting off my body would unexpectedly jerk and wake me up.  Did it several times.  Joe sweetly kissed me on my cheek several times made me feel loved and safe.

10:35am- Slept hard last night once I fell asleep.  Woke up with crick in my right neck.  Haven’t slept that hard in a long time.

August 8, 2017

4:05am – Woke up in a lot of pain shortly after 4am.

Took pain pill.  Mind started racing and when I closed my eyes it felt as if I was sitting in front of slot machines.  Too much spinning going on.  It took a long time to fall back to sleep.

4:36pm – Back has been hurting more than normal today.  Now has cooling sensation on left side.

Trouble messing up sayings and word. (ie. thinking outside the bubble)

Figured out the hard way if I try to lift anything it causes much pain in my back later.

9:45pm – Very dizzy today.  Joe’s sick.  Joe had fender bender at work today.  Joe also got call for job interview tomorrow, but he has to run store by himself tomorrow.  Praying hard God makes a way for him to get better paying job.

Joe called me to let me know what happened while I was in line waiting for something. By the time it was my turn, I was balling like a baby.  I couldn’t contain the sorrow.  A nice lady asked was going on and prayed with me.  Said that she would put me on her church’s prayer list.

10.33pm – Random muscle jerking as I’m falling asleep.  This is going to be a long night.

August 6, 2018

Heard this song today on the radio today.  It has special meaning to me as I heard it for the first time after we had our first miscarriage back in November of 2000.  It sure was an encouragement to me today.

BETTER THAN I (from: Joseph: King of Dreams)

by David Campbell & John Bucchino

I thought I did what’s right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

Chorus:
You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don’t know is part of getting through
I tried to do what’s best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is to put my trust in You.

Chorus:
For, You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

Coda:
I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If I let You reach me
Will You teach me.
(Repeat Chorus )

For, You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
I’ll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

August 2, 2017

Muscles in my back hurt so bad that I want to cry.   I’m taking muscle relaxer so I can go to sleep.

 

August 3, 2017

8.52am – Woke up in much pain and my head hurts!

10.58am – Saw my Dr. today.  Dr said I was making small improvements (that’s good). My blood pressure was 171/11 & temperature was 95.  I’m in a lot of pain today.  I may have some nerve damage.  He’s referring me to Neurologist. Given Rx for pain & muscle spasms.  Dr says it’s going to take a while to heal. Nerve damage can take several months to heal.

Thankful that I’m still kicking (not literally).  Going to try to keep pushing forward as I’m able to encourage healing.  God’s got this.   You’re continued prayers are appreciated.

11:00am – Stopped in to see my Mom (she works at Chiropractor’s) to say “Happy Birthday”.   Dr. Shouppe has not treated one (1) lightning strike victim in 31 years of practice (I’ll be his first)!   Dr. said asked me some questions.   My mom has also been talking about me.   Dr said I suffered nerve damage and that takes the longest to heal from several months to more months.

He encouraged me to stay active as I can endure it to encourage healing.  Suggested I play card games and multi-sensory activities.

 

August 4, 2017

8:48am – Long night.   Woke up feeling like someone punched me in the back.  Left eye is blurry.

2.41pm – Not feeling well.   Feel like I’m gonna hurl.   Left eyes still aches.

6:11pm – Thunderstorm going on.   Laying in bed with my eyes closed. Saw a blue streak of lightning and it scared me!!!   Body immediately tensed up!   This is not fun.   Lord, please help me.

11:13pm – Blood pressure is extremely high.   Took Epsom Salt bath, BC powder, and a second blood pressure pill.

 

August 5, 2017

10:57am – Cried myself to sleep last night.   I feel a little better than yesterday, but still feel yucky.   Blood pressure is still up 140/95.

6:00pm – Finally got my blood pressure down after eating fruit, taking magnesium 500mg, fruit smoothie with diatomaceous earth, and ¼ aspirin tablet.

Tried to make dinner, but only got half way through before my back pain was too much.  Had to ask for help.

July 30, 2017 – Woke up dizzy and not feeling well.  Got into argument with Joe over the days of us taking Jakob to college.  Began crying because it was all too much.   (Our eldest son, Jakob, was getting ready to leave for college for the first time.  I so was not ready both physically and emotionally, but I knew in my heart that he needed to go.)

I’m getting another headache.  I think I need to find something to balance my hormones.  I don’t understand why my emotions are all over the place.

Noticing that I can do some math problems a little faster in my head, but if I try to think it out I get confused.  Thoughts seem to be sporadic.

I’m wore out and extremely tired.  My neck hurts and muscles are twitching sporadically in my back and legs.

July 31, 2017 – Drank Vera (Yerba) Mate Tea this morning.  Took B-12 & multi-vitamins today.  Seemed to have a little bit more energy than I have been.  Also, a little more clarity of thought.  Back muscles periodically spasm throughout day and muscles ache all over.

Still feel unbalanced.

Have headache at end of day.  Took BC powder.  Also, took magnesium, ginger, and losartan (Blood pressure was extremely high).

August 1, 2018 – 4:00 a.m. – woke a little before 4 am with heartburn and stuffy nose.  Muscles ache and have feeling something was wrong.  Took Tums and Benadryl.  Fell asleep praying.

2:52 p.m. – Tried to help clean Lawana’s (an elderly friend’s house).  Managed to wash dishes.  Helped some with laundry.  Dezirae and Jordon did rest of jobs.  I’m now hurting all over and exhausted.  Muscles in between shoulder blades are burning!

7:40 p.m.  – Joe told me to use heat 20 minutes then ice 20 minutes to ease muscles.

When he got home from work, we put tens units on.  It hurts!  He told me to take it off after 15 minutes.  I thought I was turning it off and accidentally turned it up!!! Now I’m hurting worse.  Ugh!!  I’m not using that again.

8:05 p.m. – Hurting worse.  Took a Lavender Epsom Salt bath.  It helped to ease the pain a smidge.

10.21 p.m. – Muscles between shoulders and lower neck feel like they’re burning.  Took muscle relaxer – hope to be able to go to sleep soon.

At this point, my sleeping patterns were all mixed up.  It was hard to fall asleep at night because of the pain.  I was taking several naps a day as I had no energy and every little thing I did seemed to really wear me out physically and mentally.  I was just thankful to be alive.  I was also thankful because it was summer so school was out, but I knew somehow I was going to have to get school plans prepared soon – but for the grace of God, I was doing much of anything right now.  I was thankful that my kids were older and could help me around the house and help take care of me while Dad was at work.

Apparently, my brain was too foggy to even think about journaling for several days.  I didn’t’ add anything for about a week.  Honestly, I don’t even remember anything during that time except that I was in extreme pain and had no clue what was going on or what to do.

Journal Entry July 28, 2017

I hurt so bad all over…almost like I got beat up within inches of my life.  My head hurts so bad.  Lights and sounds hurt my head.  I’ve lost muscle strength…I can’t even hold a gallon of milk without my muscles going to spams.  Forget even lifting a basket of clothes for washing.  I have no energy at all.  Every little task seems to wear me out quickly.  I’m so dizzy I can hardly walk.  I think I’d rather stay in bed for a while.

What’s going on with me?  Why so much pain?  Why don’t the doctors know how to help?  Kids and husband say I’m slurring my words. I’m having trouble spitting out what I want to say.  I’m so tired.

Dezirae did awesome job cooking dinner (Homemade Pork Stir Fry)!  Joe gave it an A+

Journal Entry July 29, 2017

7:57 a.m. – Woke up hurting all over.  Headache has eased, but it’s not gone all the way.  My comforter feels like lead and it’s hard to move.

9:15a.m.  I’m so sad…just feel like crying and don’t know why.

11:43 p.m. – Headache is finally gone about noonish.  My right thigh hurts like it’s bruised.

Took B-12 (Methylcobalamin) to give me energy.  I have none.  I don’t sleep well at night.

Took Magnesium 500mg to calm my muscle spasms.  Also took Ginger because my stomach is upset.  Took Elderberry because I’m not feeling well. Forgot to take my multivitamins again today.  I’m having trouble with my memory.