Better or Bitter?

Nov 3

430a woke freezing. Hurt to move to try to get covers back on. Joe covered me back up. I thanked him.

630a oh I hurt so so much. Do too much y’day. Entire back throbbing and muscles spasming. Hands throbbing. Bad headache. Hurts to move.

700a headache quickly getting worse. Took relpax and laying back down few minutes. Muscles randomly spasming thru body. Eyes watery. Stuffy nose. Lights bothersome. Sharp pain in lft jaw. Lft side of chest hurts. Tummy hurts.

https://www.healthline.com/health/headache-and-nosebleed#diagnosis

747 starting to get tingling chilling sensation down spine from neck down to tailbone…prominent in center of back. Feet chilly. Putting on socks.

858 forcing myself to eat bkfst. Tummy still hurting.

Measured waist – lost 2″ in one week.

901 received phone call from PC repair shop. Motherboard died and they can’t find replaceable part for it. Told her I didn’t know what to say but had bought it from them earlier this year. I’ve lost all my precious memories. 20+ years of photos, homeschool info, info for church. I’m at a loss.

1030 received phone call from TBI coordinator. Dr who was scheduled to do my TBI testing on Thursday called needing to reschedule. wants to reschedule tomorrow or next Tuesday. Tell TBI person tomorrow too soon maybe next Tuesday. I call Joe at work. He in turn has to check with his boss bc he had to ask off for Thursday. I check my calendar. Next Tuesday won’t work. Kids have Dr appts and I had hard time getting them scheduled -cant reschedule them. Let Joe know. Ugh!

I can’t handle all of this info. I’m melting.

TBI lady called back to let me know next available not until next year. I tell her that’s okay. I try hard to hold it together but end up crying while she’s on phone. Think I concerned her at first bc she wouldn’t hang up phone and kept asking if I was okay. I ended up blubbering what events had transpired today. She understood and assured me that it was normal reaction. I told her I just had to cry a while and then I’ll be okay. She told me she would stop by on Thursday to check on me.

I was home alone (which is very rare) for few hours today. Able to cry it out – cried to Jesus and imagined I was curled up in His arms crying my heart out.

Once I was done, God gave some clarity of thought and my migraine had eased. Able to call PC repair guy to ask about data retrieval. He will retrieve what data he can. Praying my important to me documents will be salvageable. Will have to save $ for while to buy a new one.

300p Went to vote after picking Jordon up. Line was around bldg out to street and into lot next door. I tried standing in line using just my cane and occassionaly grabbing Jordon’s arm when I felt I was gping to lose balance. Stood in line almost 15 minutes then asked him to get wheelchair bc I couldn’t stand any longer…pain just too much to bear. Once he retrieved the wheelchair, a couple ladies informed me that a couole police officers told them that handicaps could go to front of line. I asked what to do. Jordon pushed me to door. Guy in front of line graciously opened the door for us to go in. Thankful to not have to wait much longer.

Came home and crashed in chair.

1115 don’t know voting outcome yet it’s close. Dezirae getting upset bc the biased media saying Biden’s leading. She asked about electoral votes verses majority vote. Had to Google info in order to figure out how to explain. Printed her out map of US and how many electorals per state. Said it helped some. Still too close to see either way. Also not sure how the mail in ballots work being they have until Friday to be counted?

Migraine has eased but still have headache. Tingling sensation inside brain and down spine. Bloody nose has eased. Tummy pain has eased. Stiffness all over and still in much pain thru body. Hands throbbing. Need rest. Night meds taken plus 2 Tylenol.

Nov 5

530 apparently I set my alarm bc I didn’t know when I was suppose to wake. I’m tired. Need deep sleep.

Oldest having financial woes and isn’t handling it too well. This in turn is grieving my heart and stressing me into a headache. May have to show him some tough love.

I have such a headache! Took two Tylenol and drinking Stress Relief Tea.

700 decided to take shower to see if it’ll help. Forgot what a chore it is. I’m exhausted, out of breath, arms fatigued and throbbing, whole body throbbing. Tingling burning in legs and feet. Headache still bad.ears ringing. May have to take a margarine relief. Need to rest a while.

830 two loads clothes washed & hung. One load folded – still need to put away. Cat fed.

1030 Meeting with TBI coordinator, Krystal, went well. Very friendly. She’s coming back out in two weeks. Wants to start working with me on memory & comprehension.

TBI testing rescheduled for January 6 @ 8am. Mtg was about an hour. Headache worse. Chilling tingling sensation down spine. Feet cold. Back is icy to the touch. Tingling sensation in top & center of brain.

1033 need to put dinner in crockpot.

100 exhausted. Heart beating hard and fast.

Resting on couch. Head pounding.

300 friend dropped some pecans off for me. Yay! Elliotts.

10.50 “Nightmares are dreams that are threatening and scary. For trauma survivors, though, nightmares are a common problem. Along with flashbacks and unwanted memories, nightmares are one of the ways in which a trauma survivor may relive the trauma for months or years after the event.”

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understan.d/related/nightmares.asp#:~:text=Of%20those%20with%20PTSD%2C%2071,may%20have%20them%20quite%20often.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/how-trauma-can-affect-your-dreams

1120 very tired.may fall asleep. Hurtingball over. St side cramping. Neck & head hurt. Feet freezing.