Raw Emotions vs. Biblical Perspective

I frequently find myself looking for ideas outside of the box for Scripture Journaling.  Sometimes I have difficulty deciding on what subjects to focus on from month to month.  I regularly ask the Lord for His direction and guidance on each month’s subject.

While each month has a personal reason behind the choice, this month’s is a bit raw and personal due to my recent breast cancer diagnosis.  While my mind struggles to find out how to approach or organize the idea, I am certain that this would help countless others regardless of their circumstances.

People often experience a vast range of emotions when given grave news, such as cancer, loss of loved one, or experiencing a hardship that lasts for a long time.  With each stage of the journey, these emotions can change.  It’s important to note that it’s quite normal for these emotions to arise, and there are no two people alike that experience things the same way.

It’s natural to want to be supportive of those who are experiencing traumatic events. Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what to say. What most people who are suffering need is a quiet, caring presence. While throughout my life when experiencing some tragedy or another, I have often heard words that have hurt more than helped by well-intentioned people. I know they meant well. What’s most encouraging is hearing from people that care and knowing that they are praying for me.

The next time you want to help someone who is experiencing a tragedy, remember to take time to talk with the Lord and ask Him for wisdom on how you can be of help through your words and actions. When you bring God’s silent presence to a friend in need, He can use you as an instrument of grace and comfort.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~  ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Below is a list of thoughts, feelings, or reactions one may encounter when given grave news—some of these I have already dealt with or are dealing with from my lightning strike. Some of them are new feelings I am currently working through. I hope this will be a comfort to someone to let them know that they are not alone in their journey.

Shock

My initial thought was:

• This can’t be true
• I felt numb and wasn’t sure what to think

This is natural.  It took time for me to understand the meaning of the news I was told and to get over the initial shock.

Pain and suffering appear to be contrary with our conception of a good and loving sovereign God.  God has complete power over our circumstances and desires to mold us into the image of His Son.

We often become self-reliant in good circumstances, forgetting our need for God. When our faith is tested, it is during these moments that we discover our need for entire reliance on Him. James says that persisting through adversity produces a mature and complete faith.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.  James 1:4

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.  1 Peter 5:7

 Fear

My next thought was one of fear which then caused anxiety about what was happening.

• I don’t want to die.
• What treatments will I need to have?
• How will they affect me and my family?
• How will I know what is the right decision is for me regarding treatment?

Fear may cripple even the most composed people, causing them to feel uncomfortable and insecure, but God reminds us in His Word that there is nothing to fear because of Jesus.  Fear clouds your judgment and forces you to make decisions you wouldn’t have made if you were thinking clearly about the circumstance. When you don’t worry about the future and instead trust God, His peace begins to fill your mind, and His blessings begin to appear.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.   In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.  Deuteronomy 31:6

 Anxiety

I began to get anxious, wondering:

• What was going to happen?
• How would I cope with everything?
• How will this affect my family?
• How will this affect my ministry?

The diagnosis of cancer can make you feel as though you have lost control of your life.  One of the most difficult things to deal with is uncertainty about the future.

Recognizing when I am feeling this way can help, and concentrating on what I can change or control.  For example, attempt to follow a regular routine.  Make positive lifestyle adjustments, such as eating healthier, exercising more often, look for opportunities to be kind to others, simplify your life, etc.

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.  John 14:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1 

Grief

I began to feel grief and loss over the life I had prior to the lightning strike.  With the injuries I sustained, I could no longer lift heavier items (at first, lifting a gallon of milk would cause extreme pain and muscle spasms), I couldn’t do regular chores around the house, I had to ask my daughter for help to even do my own hair.

It’s critical to allow oneself to mourn these losses. Coming to terms with them can take time.

Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.  Psalm 32:7

My flesh and my heart faileth:  but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73:26

 

Sadness

Sadness is a natural feeling when someone close to you is experiencing a hardship.  You may be grieving the way cancer has changed your day-to-day life, your body, or your future.

Everyone has good and bad days.  You will not feel happy or positive all the time. If you continue to feel sad for long periods of time, it’s important to seek wise counsel or talk things out with a godly friend.

The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.  Psalm 34:17-18

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Philippians 4:8

 Loneliness

Cancer, a chronic illness, or any type of hardship, can feel isolating, even when you have many people to support you. You can feel lonely because you are having difficulty expressing how you’re feeling, if others have trouble understanding your diagnosis or lack thereof, or your decisions on what treatments to pursue, or even because you just don’t have the energy to enjoy your usual activities.

People might not be aware of everything you have to do. It could be helpful to explain this to them.  Because when we recognize that loneliness is unavoidable at times, our greatest plan is to combat it rather than reject it. We may embrace our relationship with God, allow God’s Word to fill our hearts and thoughts, and engage our Christian friendship community. We can also find solace in the fact that we are not alone. Even Bible heroes like King David and the prophet Jeremiah experienced loneliness at some point in their lives.

One way you can show your love for the Lord is by being sympathetic and loving to everyone you encounter on earth. Even simple acts can have a big impact. Be willing to share, with discernment, what God has done with those he brings into your life.

But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.  Hebrews 13:16

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.  Matthew 5:16

Loss of Control

It can be difficult to cope with the lasting side effects of an injury, a chronic illness, or the news that you have cancer.  It may feel as if you are losing control of your life.  This can be challenging, especially if you are used to being independent and taking care of everyone else.

It is beneficial to help you gain control by learning about your injuries, illness, or type of cancer and developing a strategy for dealing with the side effects.  It is important to become an advocate for your own health.  It is also important to work on healing of all areas of your life, including emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Learn to accept the difficult trial that God has allowed you to go through and do not set a deadline for Him to remove it.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1 Peter 5:8

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Overwhelmed

We all feel overwhelmed at times. For some people, the feeling of being overwhelmed by their circumstances might lead to severe anxiety or panic attacks.

When we are feeling overwhelmed, we must acknowledge and accept God’s sovereignty, rely on God’s strength, and pray for peace, knowing that He has promised to help us in our time of need.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  2 Timothy 1:7

 Uncertainty

Feeling uncertain about how you will cope and adapt to your circumstances can cause confusion and doubt.  You begin to wonder how you are going to deal with all the parameters of the situation.

It’s easy to doubt that God is truly with us when life feels uncertain. However, the same God who is with us during the good times is also with us during the bad times.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Jeremiah 29:11

Resentment

The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines resentment as “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will towards something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.” Most people have experienced resentment at some point in their lives.

Resentment has no place in a Christian’s heart.  It can cause anger, bitterness, jealousy, frustration, and malice to grow in our hearts.  The Bible in James 3 tells us to let go of any bitter thoughts or resentful feelings towards others.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:31-32

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 1 Peter 5:10

Guilt

Feelings of guilt are common.  You may feel guilty about:

• Finding it hard to cope
• Feeling like a burden to your friends or family
• Feeling resentful that your own needs are not being met

People with cancer or long-lasting injuries or a disability often express their concern for those they love and feel guilty for putting them through such a difficult period.

Guilt and guilt feelings are not synonymous, as many people are guilty of things for which they have neither sorrow nor guilt. It is also possible to feel guilty even when no wrongdoing has occurred. The human spirit is complex, and what we feel does not necessarily correspond to what is true due to our sin and limitations.

Guilt prevents us from reaching our best potential in serving God. Our adversary’s main goal is to keep us from serving the Lord. We must repel the fiery darts by erecting a shield of faith based on our Savior’s act of redemption on the cross.

Accept forgiveness from God.  Allow Him to cleanse you.  Commit to living in accordance with God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s leading.

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16

How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?  Hebrews 9:14

Fatigue

Fatigue is a state of excessive exhaustion or energy deficiency. It’s something that sticks with you even if you get enough sleep.

Weariness from cancer or chronic illness is common.  This type of fatigue is different from the fatigue of daily life caused by work or activities.  Resting as needed is necessary, but it will not make the symptoms go away, and even a small amount of movement can be exhausting.

Fatigue can:

• Vary from day to day
• Be overwhelming and make it hard for you to feel well
• Make it difficult for social activities
• Make daily chores difficult to complete

Suffering is a mystery in many ways that we can never fully comprehend this side of Heaven. We can, however, learn truths from God’s Word.  If we allow it, fatigue and suffering can generate the following:

1. A connection with God
2. Equipping us to comfort others
3. Refinement
4. Spiritual growth
5. Conforming to God’s image

We can seek God through His Word and in prayer.  When we do, we will find Jesus.  Remember, He understands and is aware of our feelings and our emotions.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 2 Corinthians 1:4

But he knoweth the way that I take:  when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.  Job 23:10

Insomnia

Insomnia is the inability to fall or stay asleep on a regular basis. Insomnia can strike anyone at any time, and  can be caused by a variety of circumstances.  In the Bible, insomnia is commonly associated with worry (Daniel 2:1), anxiety, and sin (Proverbs 4:14–16). The sin can be the cause of insomnia rather than the insomnia itself.

Once we can identify the source of the restlessness, we may address the issue to strive to resolve it. The Bible does not address insomnia directly but it does provide answers to some of the factors that can contribute to  it. When we identify what is causing insomnia, we can then apply God’s solutions.

1. Worry is one of the major causes of insomnia. “How am I going to handle this?” “What are we going to do moving forward?” “How can I ask my family for help when I don’t even know what I need for help?” “Will my family be supportive of  my treatment choices?” “What can I do naturally to combat it?” We often lie awake in bed attempting to fall asleep, but our minds race with ideas while we try to solve problems on our own.

My thoughts were scattered in the months following my lightning strike. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, let alone how to articulate how I was feeling or thinking.  This caused a lot of undue stress.

Meditating and applying Scripture to our troubling situations can help reduce the anxiety that keeps us awake at night. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:25-34 that He already knows our need, that He will provide, and that we should focus on heavenly things rather than earthly concerns.

2.  Anxiety is defined by Webster as “an apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill : a state of being anxious”. It is often accompanied by emotions of anxiousness and helplessness, but unlike worry, it is not usually focused on a specific issue. Worry is a concentrated focus on a seemingly overwhelming situation, whereas anxiety is like an unpleasant fog that settles on anything at hand. Both can keep you awake and keep you in a condition of sleep depravity.Philippians 4:6 is a popular referenced verse for anxiety.  “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Anxiety is a mental distraction that makes it difficult to focus on anything for extended periods of time, even sleeping. When we lay our anxieties at Jesus’ feet and let go, He promises peace that we could never accomplish on our own.Praying, worshiping, and reflecting on Scripture can help us make the most of those nights when we can’t sleep. If Satan is obstructing restful sleep, he will not enjoy that approach to insomnia and may cease his attack. We can trust that whatever sleep we get will be adequate for the day ahead if we have a clear conscience and have given our anxieties to the Lord.

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.  Psalm 4:8

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Psalm 37:7

Anger 

It’s natural to be upset after suffering an injury, being chronically ill, or receiving a cancer diagnosis. While I didn’t ask God, “Why me?”  I have thought “I’m already dealing with the effects of the lightning strike.  I don’t want to deal with this cancer too.”

Anger is not in and of itself a sin. It’s a red flag suggesting something is wrong and needs to be corrected. It’s vital to remember that anger may be beneficial when used correctly.

Denying a wrong, becoming impatient, fury, rectifying past wrongs, and holding on to grudges are all examples of how anger may be misused. When you react in this manner, you know your anger has become sinful.

When you’re angry, think about why you’re angry, and then pray for God’s help in responding biblically. Analyze your circumstances, examine yourself, and work towards improving your spiritual health.  If you need help responding appropriately, spend time praying and reading your Bible.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.  Ephesians 4:26-27

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.  Psalm 37:8

Doubt

There is much controversy as to why God would allow suffering.  Romans 12 tells us “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:”  Chronic illness, pain, and disease are all part of the consequences of sin passed down through the generations.

Nobody is immune to doubt. Doubt can make us wonder if He truly cares and make us wonder, “How am I going to handle this?”

Remembering our blessings is the most effective strategy to overcome doubt. Accept the challenge and trust that God is watching over you.

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. Psalm 56:3-4

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

And of some have compassion, making a difference:  Jude 1:22

P.S. I have created a quick reference chart for dealing with Emotions versus the  Biblical Perspective and a couple of corresponding Scriptures. There are two verses listed per emotion, which can be used for your monthly Scripture Journaling.

https://charitymaeprosper.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Emotions-vs-Biblical-Perspective.pdf