Journal Entries 21-22 October 2018

October 21

700a – Joe scared me awake!  I dislike that because it jolts all my nerves and makes me hurt like crazy.  No sure how to explain it but almost feels like every nerve ending in my body is on fire!

Woke with a headache, my whole body hurts.  Section in between left index and thumb swollen with red eczema looking itchy patch.  Feeling kind of unstable & dizzy.  Nerve have been over stimulated this week.  Knew I’d have some side effects, but it’s been worth it.

10:45a – asked Yanna to be my helper at church – keep eye on trash cans in bathrooms and empty them when needed and the toilet paper to let me know when it’s getting low.  Joe also asked her to help keep his trash empty.  She was happy to help.

11:43a – feeling very weak.  Had trouble focusing on offertory and keeping place…messed up even though I’ve practiced all week.

12:13p – I have pushed too much…need to collapse for a while…gonna sleep on floor in nursery.  Heart beating hard, feel faint, head wobbly, whole body hurts.

2:00p – Joe came to check on me.  I’m laying down but not asleep.  I didn’t hear him come in and he scared me causing me to jump and scream.  Heart pounding hard.  Nerves screaming & stinging throughout body.

205p – TBI symptoms/injuries

6:00p – evening service – I’m so exhausted and hurt horribly, but glad I can be at church.  Joe reviewed Dr Stringer’s sermons:  1. Hope & the Lord’s mercies, 2. Bitterness,  3. What does it take for revival? 4. Harvest, 5. For, 6. Patience/Don’t Quit.  That was a big help to me.  While I struggled to take notes to help me try to stay focused on messages, I still have trouble remembering what was said.  Right now I’m working really hard on remembering the kid’s names at church (there’s 10 altogether) and even then I still have trouble telling the twins apart.  Everybody else seems to be able to tell them apart but my brain is struggling.  At least they all know I love them and that they are important to me. 🙂

October 22

I am currently attempting to read a book that includes a 12 week companion Bible study.  It is “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver.  I am currently on chapter 3.  It takes me much longer to read things these days.  A couple of reasons, one I have trouble looking at words on pages for too long without them going blurry.  Second, I have to not only read it slowly but also repetitively to comprehend what I’m reading.  I have trouble remembering what I read.

This hurdle had really hindered my yearly goals of reading so many books.  My last yearly goal before getting struck by lightning was 12 books (that’s one a month).  Sadly, I was unable to meet that goal in 2017 because of my injuries.

It’s not gonna stop me.  Though it is quite a hurdle right now, I still plan on eventually working to achieve that goal one day.  Anyways, I foud encouragement in chapter 2” “Lord, Don’t’ You Care?”  On page 21, there’s a section that gives strategies for fighting discouragement.  I’ve think that it’s good enough to use for just about any circumstance in life. 

And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

11:16p – decided to look for a larger purse at the thrift store (my husband gave me $ for my birthday).  My sister, daughter, and niece came along too.  I don’t usually go anywhere by myself these days as I get turned around and lost easily.

The first store didn’t have any purses that I liked.  I decided to look through the clothes.  Nothing.  I’m quite choosy on styles and colors.  Looked through a double rack for my sizes by I could only manage a few minutes and my arms have had enough.

I told my sister that that was enough for me.  She asked why?  I told her that just that little bit made my arms sore feeling like I had worked out for 30 minutes or so.  Wow!  I’ve lost a lot of muscle strength since my strike.  It gets quite frustrating at times especially when I dwell on the facts that prior to the strike I could lift 100lbs give or take easily, but now I can barely lift 20lbs without it causing much pain and grief.  I try not to dwell on the pasts of what I used to could do.  These days I try to focus on what I can do and make new goals to accomplish.

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