Jan 22
3.30 woke to stomach hurting horribly. Rt hip throbbing.
5.00 stomach still hurting. Rt hip throbbing and I’m cold.
6.00 trouble falling back to sleep. I’m freezing. Get cold easily since being heated up by the lightning. So many questions still unanswered yet God is seeing fit to answer them in His timing. Some questions may never be answered this side of Heaven.
7.00 29°outside 60°inside
Stomach finally stopped cramping. Rt hip still hurts.
7.30 muscles in back & rt side cramping/spasming. Making it difficult to move.
8.30 co-op today. Allowing Jordon to drive there.
12.00 driving home. Back still spasming/cramping. I’m exhausted. Need rest.
3.00 crashed on my chair in livingroom not sure how long I was out. Back still hurting. Guess I’m down for the day.
10.20p back cramping eased around 7ish. Skin itches all over again. It’s gotta be nerves. I only itch at night once I’m relaxing or trying to.
Praying for my church family. Lots of needs. Headache. Exhausted.
Jan 23
7.00 woke from strange dreams all night. Hands and arms numb and tingly. Congested. Muscles twitching in back. Tired. Upper back & shoulders pins & needles stingy slightly.
2.00 Exhausted. Overdone it. Low back throbbing. Short of breath. Feet freezing!
4.30 running late heading to church. Rae had hard time finding something at store. Decided to use google maps for fastest way to church from my location. Wrong choice! It took me on highway during go home traffic then wanted me to get off very next exit from whence I just got off. Chose to stay on highway but about had panic attack bc I didn’t remember how to get to church. Thankfully, Jordon was excellent navigator.
5.45 brain past fried…cannot talk right. Told Joe he was pulling my goat. I was actually trying to say he was pulling my chain. Corrected and told saying is supposed to be pulling my leg. Gave the whole church a good laugh. I just wanted to crawl under the pew in corner and hide. Ugh!
10.00 Upset about not remembering when Joe says he tells me stuff. I adamantly says he doesn’t bc I don’t remember him saying it. I’m really trying to remember. I just don’t comprehend why I struggle to remember some things and other things I remember better.
Trying to quote bible verse to Joe about loving God with heart, soul, strength, and mind (Luke 20:27). Except I messed it up and said we’re suppose to worship God with our body, mind, soul, and spirit. He said it doesn’t say that. I disagreed. I know it has 4 in it. Had to look it up. Found out I was misquoting it. Ugh! We chuckled. I knew there was 4.
I guess I can only take so much then I have meltdown moments which range in emotions from anger, anxiety, or crying…tonight’s meltdown was anger. Angry bc I have trouble remembering things. Angry bc I misplace things easily and cannot recall where I put them. Angry bc my brain struggles to get verbiage in mind spoken correctly. And I struggle articulating how other’s can help. Angry bc I don’t feel like I’m doing a good enough job expressing my struggles to others and don’t have clue how to correct it. Angry bc sometimes I feel like others don’t understand nor care to understand. Angry bc it seems like there’s lack of reverence towards the things of God.
Jordon asks when Bible says let not the sun go down upon your wrath does that mean don’t go to bed angry. I replied basically yes.
Some would say that means in relationships (Ephesians 4:26). It’s good practice to not go to bed angry at your spouse, but it doesn’t mean we cannot have righteous anger. Being angry in itself is not a sin, but most times it’s how you handle the anger that results in the sin.
11.30 skin itchy like crazy!!! Low back & rt hip throbbing. Brain fried. Headache.
Jan 24
10.28 sudden loud noise? Windows & doors in house shook. Scared me. I thought someone was trying to come in unexpected. Grabbed phone and made sure doors were locked.
1.40pm finally finished sorting thru and writing down church expenses for last year. I’m exhausted and hurting. Headache. Time for break.
7.30 learned that others in area felt and heard loud boom this morning. Speculation of sonic boom but NAS Blue Angels are out of town. Bad enough to bad news at noon. Hugh?
8.00 I’m really hurting. Neck throbbing. Hands swollen and achy. Rt side & hip throbbing.
9.00 rt side cramping. Muscles spasming in left side. Back of rt leg/knee throbbing. Unable to get comfortable. Extremely tired. Eyes watering.
