Better or Bitter?

July 22, 2018

11.25a Woke up with headache. Took Bp 126/84.  Feeling quite dizzy today. Entire back hurts with lower back aching more. Left side aches like I got punch. Stomach hurts. Hands swollen and achy. Calves ache. 🙁

4:30 – I’m feeling overwhelmed about my SSI apt tomorrow. I just want to cry. 

11:30p- I’m hurting all over. Chest throbbing. Hands aching. Calves throbbing & cramping. Brain hurts. Toes tingly and aching. Gonna be a long night! Rt elbow throbbing.

July 23, 2018

7:00 – woke from a nightmare. It seemed so real. 

9:00a – can’t shake the feelings I felt in the nightmare…alone and afraid.  Began reading Bible. Imagining myself leaning into the arms of Jesus for He is my safety and strength.

10:00a- I hurt all over. Rt hand aches horibbly just as it did in my nightmare when I got bit by a snake. Once I realized they weren’t real bc of the extra eyes on tops of heads when one bit me, I began throwing them & kicking them away from me to escape whatever was going on. I was looking for an escape…had trouble finding an escape route. Until someone passed by and asked to be my friend. I didn’t know who I could trust so I hesitantly accepted. He said he could shew me the way if I just trusted Him. That phrase made me doubt his credibility. I began asking Jesus to help me.  

The person led me to a room. I then woke up. I don’t know where I was, but I remember feeling utterly lost, alone, and scared. Just want to cry it all out.

John 11:9-10 

10:24a – Entire body aches like I’ve just ran a marathon out of shape. Rt hand swollen and aches. Lower back throbbing. Rt hip aches. Upper back stinging. Feet ache. Toes tingly.Headache.Eyes watering.Rt ear hurts a little.

John 11:9-10
Jesus answered, Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world.
But if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him.

Thankful for the Lord’s light to guide my path because without Him I would surely stumble and fall.

July 24, 2018

10:36p Did too much today. I have a migraine!!!

Took kids to mall & field n stream. I think I walked too much. My whole body aches. My Bp is up – 160/104!

I’ve taken 2 tension headache rx, maltax neither has touched it. 

Muscles in legs randomly twitching. Feet throbbing. Back of neck is throbbing. 

July 19, 2018

6:40a – woke up freezing, odd dreams, lft ear ringing, low back throbbing, stomach hurts, headache

11:14p – headache most of day – had ro take migraine rx to ease it. Brain foggy & blurry, lft ear ringing, calves cramping, pms, hands tingly, lower back throbbing, tired, dizzy today. Closed eyes a couple of times and I could see colidiscopes twirling on back of eyelids 

July 20, 2018

Had trouble sleeping last night. Joe got called into work today. 

Low back hurting. Calf muscles aching. Rt ear hurts. Lft ear ringing. 

6:15 – Lower back throbbing. Headaches. Rt ear hurts. Eyes hurt. Exhausted. Hands hurt. Trouble with focus. Memory problems. Having trouble losing grip and dropping things.

July 21, 2018

Today’s blooper

Dezirae tapped my arm with Jakob’s charger while Jakob was asking someone to plug it into the charger. Joe told Dezirae to say something don’t just tap Mom’s arm. I reiterated by saying, “Yeah, Dezirae say something don’t just tap my arm you’ll make me jump a mile hour.” Joe immediately cracked up laughing. 

I then knew I said it wrong. LOL! I meant to say a mile high.

July 18, 2018

8:30 – had rough night. Extreme pain. Nightmares too. Woke to chest hurting horribly. Low back hurts. Eyes feel heavy & crusty. Toes tingly. Rt ear aches mildly. Tired. Calves ache.

9:12 – Today marks my one year anniversary of my life-changing event of being struck by lightning. I am thankful to be alive! I continue to thank God for His faithfulness and that His mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23. I have come a long way, but I have a long road ahead in my recovery. Still have a lot of things that I am unable to do without it affecting me painfully. God knows the reason and I am still discovering it one turtle step at a time.

Today marks my one year anniversary of my life-changing event of being struck by lightning!!! I am thankful to be alive!
I continue to thank God for His faithfulness and that His mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23

It has been a year of ups and downs that come with the after-effects of the damage the lightning left behind – nerve damage, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, and migraines are among a few of the daily battles. This is something that you won’t hear on the nightly news media. Until recently, the only time you heard of someone being struck by lightning on the news was when a person was killed by the lightning strike. I have yet to see them cover how a lightning survivor copes with the injuries or struggles to find doctors that have dealt with this type of injury in order to get the help they desperately need. Sadly, most survivors struggle with depression after struggling to find either a doctor that is willing to help or even keep a friend that understands the plethora of symptoms that they struggle with on a daily/weekly basis.

We continue to pray that God will heal me completely. While waiting for God to answer that prayer, I am doing my best to learn how to use natural remedies as much as possible to aid in the healing process.

I thank God for the loving support of my family and close friends. I also thank God for the new friends I have made through my Lightning Strike support group. God has already opened doors for new friendships and has enlarged my coast (1 Chronicles 4:10) beyond what I could imagine allowing me to be able to help others. I look forward to how much God will extend that coast in the near future.

July 16, 2018

1.14p Woke with pain all over. Rt hip area hurts. Low back hurts. Head hurts. Hands and forearms swollen especially rt arm & achy. Toes tingly. Stuffy & congested. 

Received ltr from SSA stating that I’m not eligible because I said I didn’t want to apply. That’s false! I have an appointment on July 23rd to apply. Craziness. I have call into atty. Trouble with constipation.

6:06 – my nerves are screaming pain!!!  My chest hurts so bad! If only I could get the inflamation to subside, then I could get a little relief so I could rest. 

Husband is tired of it. I don’t know what to do.  My heart is wounded.

That moment when you just get done refilling your fabric softner container and you accidentally pop a hole in the corner putting it on the shelf and it spills everywhere! And flexseal tape won’t fix it. Ugh! Thankful for mason jars.

July 17, 2018

6:26a -Eyes are heavy & blurry. Low back & tailbone throbbing. Rt ear aches. Hands swollen and tingly. Feet achy & tingly. Lower legs ache. Head hurts.

8:06a – chilling burning sensation in middle of back, feet are freezing

10:00a – just cleaned my bathroom 1st time since injury…not able to do thorough clean. Hands & forearms throbbing, I’m exhausted & ready to pass out, brain foggy, eyes blurry, slight headache…taking nap now 

2:00p – after turning radio off, I fell against corner of tv stand. Now I have a huge bruise on rt thigh. Ouch!!

3:00p -made cookies, but had to have help stirring batter because it hurt my chest too much. Frustrating!

8:00p – upper back muscles on fire

10:48p -neck hurts, center of chest is throbbing, center of back hurts, feet freezing, hands achy & swollen. I’m wide awake! 

11:45 – not sure why, but my upper body is shaking like a tremor

July 13, 2018

6:30 – feet, lower legs, & lower back cramping, slight headache, hands hurt

July 14, 2018

2:47p Very rough night. Woke up in severe pain! Tailbone throbbing and I feel like I was beat up. Stomach hurts.  

11:00p – Bp 160/102 hr 71

I accidentally took the wrong meds last night so I didn’t take the Clonidine. 

I have a headache. My tailbone throbs. Feet hurt. Rt elbow aches. Rt ear hurts. Center of chest hurts.

Psalm 145:18-19
The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him,
to all that call upon him in truth.
He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him:
he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

July 15, 2018

11:21a Woke up hurting all over. My headache is worse. Took pain rx. Hands ache& swollen. Feet & lower legs cramping. Brain feels foggy today.

3:15 – laid down to rest a bit. Hand and arms tingly. Rt hip area aches.

6:49 rt sd of nevk hurts

July 10, 2018

12:11am – feeling dizzy & freezing. Headache. Chest aches. Toes feel frozen.

6:35 – feet numb & tingly, lower back & legs ache, headache, stuffy nose, utterly exhausted

10:30a – fell asleep on chair while sitting down to rest a moment

7:30p – walking down hallway suddenly felt sharp stabbing pain in rt calf made it dfifficult to walk.

10:00p – center of chest popped now it’s hurting bad enough for pain rx

Having trouble with my peripheral vision. I keep bumping into things that I think I’m gonna miss. 

Ephesians 5:20
Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Giving thanks “always” and “for all things” isn’t always easy to do especially when you’re in the midst of hardship or trial. You can thank God not for the problems, but for His strength that He is perfecting through you to get through the difficult situations. Take heart in knowing that God’s love will see you through, and that He is with you always.

July 11, 2018

1:30 woke up freezing

3:30 woke again freezing &rt hip hurting

5:30 woke again freezing, put extra blanket on me, rt hip still hurts. Tried stretching to ease but still hurts.

7:30 chest keeps popping when I move certain ways, makes chest hurt.

6:20 rt hand & arm swollen and aches, low back hurts, feet hurt, tired

11:38 lower back throbbing, knees and lower lft leg throbbing, rt hand swollem and hurts

2 Corinthians 4:7-9
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Many times when we face trials and tribulations, we tend to get discouraged and feel defeated, but we can never loose our hope in the Lord for He is always there. Occasionally, we need to remind ourselves that Christ has the victory over death, and we have eternal life. All of our struggles are opportunities that we can use to show God working through us. One day all of life’s struggles will be worth it all!

July 12, 2018

7:50 – Joe wakes me up to let me know he has to go to work. I was suppose to take paperwork to atty. Ugh!

8:00 – rt hand & wrist swollen & achy. Rt elbow hurts to move it. Low back hurts. Eyes a bit blurry. 

4:00 – tried to clean up a little in SS bldg. It about killed my back in less than 10 minutes. Had to stop as I was about in tears because of the pain!!!

Deuteronomy 31:8
And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

July 7, 2018

2:53a – woken up by telemarketer phone call. Ugh!

Sharp stabbing pain persists

7:00a – sharp stabbing pain still. Can hardly move. Pain to tears level 10! Took Naproxen 500mg. Had to lay still for 2 hours til pain started easing up. 

10:43 so much pain !!!Costocondritisos starting to flair up again. Just have 

Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Thankful that God has the knowledge and power to meet any need in our lives.

July 8, 2018

3:30 woke up due to cramping/muscle spams in both calves & use restroom

5:30 woke up due to cramping & pain in lower back. Couldn’t fall back to sleep

7:21 – cramping in calves have not eased. Pain at 5/6. Hands swollen & achy. 

10:45 – leg muscles twitching

July 9, 2018

7.25a Woke with feet and hands tingling. Calves in both legs cramping. Low back aches. Neck hurts. 

5:25 – stinging needle pain in upper back. Tired. Rt arm & hand throbbing.

7:23 – rt ear ringing, headache, eyes blurry, low back aches

11:52 – feels like ants crawling on skin, but there’s none, headache

July 4, 2018

Woke at 4am with my legs from knees down cramping and throbbing.Hands swollen and achy.Slight headache.Right side just above hip aches. 

July 5, 2018

Woke with a headache.Legs from knees down cramping and throbbing. Lower back aches. Rt side cramps when I turn. Thighs feel like they’re burning. Exhausted, but can’t sleep. 

Hand swollen and tingly

Hebrews 10:35-36
Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Some days no matter what you do it just seems like nothing goes your way. It’s in those times that you need to look to God for your strength to persevere. Don’t give up! Your blessings are just around the corner.

Lord, please help me to keep moving forward no matter how hard the path ahead may seem. Help me to trust you to lead me in the path that we should go.

July 6, 2018

11.08a Didn’t sleep well. Kept waking up due to cramping in my legs. Woke up to calf mjuscles cramping in both legs. Pain level is 5/6. 

Slight headache. Hands and wrists swollen. Chest cracking when I turn a certain way.

4.08p Went to TBI support group on Tuesday. Mom took me. Dezirae had fun painting a picture. My head hurt too much to think about trying to paint. 

Mom & I chatted with another guy (I mostly listened). Shared info on how we were injured. He was in an auto accident about eight yrs ago. 

During our conversation, he asked me if my personality has changed since my injury. I had to think a moment. I had to admit that my personality indeed has changed since my injury. I knew it had some but I wasn’t exactly sure how much.

I discussed it with my husband a couple days later when I remembered the question. He confirmed that it had changed. He said that I’m now more skittish of everything.

I would like to think that I’m doing good and getting farther in my recovery than I probably am, but in reality I still need lots of help. I was a very independent person before with the attitude that there’s nothing God and I can’t figure out or handle. 

Now, I have to admit I’m afraid to be alone. I’m afraid of falling. I don’t comprehended things as quickly as before. I get confused easily. I lack the ability to concentrate on one thing for any length of time (even now I got distracted and stopped to do something else before remembering I was writing this info). 

My life has forever changed since my lightning strike. I’m not the same person I was. I’m learning to adjust to my new normal which I know will take time. 

It’s peculiar how a traumatic event will change your perception and outlook on life. I’m just focusing on one day at a time. I’m thankful for the Lord’s mercies and His faithfulness to be by my side each step of the way. I’m thankful for my loving family that has been supportive along the way.

Lamentations 3:22-2

8:45p – Sharp stabbing pain in center of chest. Costocondritisflairing up again! Ouch!!

John 10:28-30
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one.

Thankful that I have the assurance of eternal security in Christ Jesus. Through mountain top experiences or stormy seas, God’s love for me will never fade.

July 1, 2018

Today was a bit much for me.  I’m in pain from my head to my toes. I crashed for a couple of hours when we came home from church today. 

Had trouble focusing while playing piano in afternoon service. 

Joe doesn’t seem to get it. It gets frustrating.

July 2, 2018

The total length of your circulatory system stretches an amazing 60,000 miles. www.quora.com

…nerves  grow  back  at  the rate  of  an  inch  per  month…

July 3, 2018

8.13a Woke up with mild headache. Tired. Lower back aches. Hands and arms fiery, tingling pain. Feet ache. Ankles slighty swollen & ache.Bright lights bothersome.Tired. 

10.48p I’m so overwhelmed right now. Lord, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I (Psalm 61)

Psalm 61:1-2 Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.