Feb 16
8:30a Thankful that I have unlimited access to my Heavenly Father on a daily basis.
9:00a- Fell asleep just after midnight. Woke around 4:30 am in serious pain! Doze off and on rest of night. Terrible dream that turned crazy.
Serious pain all over. Rt hip throbbing! Pain rate 9. Need pain rx to move much.
11:42p- Treated kids to Marble Slab. Tasted a little of their ice cream but held back on ordering one for me. I’m trying so hard to get rid of this thrush. Joe not convinced it’s just thrush could be geographic tongue too. I’m confused. Just want it to go away.
Ended up having a long discussion on my research about getting better. Didn’t understand what Joe was trying to say and took it the wrong way. All I want to do is get better. I’m tired of not being able to do things that I know I used to be able to do or think I should be able to. Joe wants me to stop stressing myself out trying to research what to do and allow my brain and body to rest so it can heal. I just want explanations of what’s going on. I guess I just need to learn how to balance it all.
Feb 17
1:37a- very rough morning. Woke with a migraine. I down spiraled from there. Overwhelmed by previous night’s conversation and not getting better. Tongue is getting worse again. I’m exhausted and tired of fighting it all. I’m discouraged but not defeated. Can’t seem to think straight or keep things straight.
Ended up arguing with Joe. Anxiety overtook and I did something dumb – getting out of car while it’s moving. Almost fell in process. I need help but don’t know who or where to turn. Keep quoting Lord lead me to the rock that is higher than I for thou has been a shelter for me.
9:45p- solemn day. Took two hour nap this afternoon. Joe actually had to wake me up. Took nap on mattress in nursery. I’m still tired. Trying to relearn some music for offeratory. Coming along slowly. Singing same songs repetitively is irritating to me. Just want to be held and told it’s gonna be okay. I’m so tired.
Gonna call dr in am to see if they can test for strand candida and cost to see if we can get rid of this junk once and for all. 5 bites of ice cream and this much reaction is insane (tongue slightly swollen, difficulty swallowing, more rash patches on tongue, etc)
Low back throbbing, headache has dimished but not gone, exhausted, discouraged, hands swollen and achy, rt hip aches.
10:55p- hands and arms went numb had to change position, legs throbbing, feet pulsing throb, blankets feel like lead, skin itchy. Took melatonin and pain rx
Feb 18
5:30a- long night. Up since 3am. Fell asleep close to midnight. I’m exhausted and in much pain. Rx didn’t do much. Can tell I’ve run out of MSM. Having more muscle pains and spasms. Odd how one thing can affect the whole.
6:24a- still an emotional basket case… tears leaking out of mine eyes. I guess it’s worse when I don’t get much sleep. Gonna try to take nap before kids get up. Did Bible reading. Will do devotions a little later. I’m freezing right now. Need to warm up.
9:30 1/2 muscle relaxer knocked me out for three hrs. Got to get up. So sleepy.
11:57a- I’m so tired. Two loads washed. Jordon helped me finish making bed. I hurt all over. Touched up walls in Dezirae’s room. I’m exhausted. Upper back stinging needle pain. Hands swollen and achy. So lethargic must lay down for a piece.
12:16p- Atty called. Court getting ready to schedule hearing. Atty collecting additional info to build my case. Sending me paperwork to take to doctor.
4:11p- center of chest hurting with a chilly tingling sensation, stomach hurts, made dr apt for Thursday re thrush is getting worse again 10:00p- gotta remember to get more MSM. Muscle twitching in legs. Center chest pain increasing.
