Oct 16
3a- woken from nightmare by feeling heart beating in chest. Have pounding headache. Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down rt leg to knee. Went to bathroom. Decided to take bp rx (edarbyclor 1/2 pill) to see if that’ll help. Feels like bp headache no fun!
5:40a bp 138/89 still have pounding headache. Still awake wishing I could sleep. Rt hip throbbing with pain shooting down to thigh. Muscles spasming in legs and arms. Burning stinging nerve pain in back and legs. Neck throbbing rt side. Chest aching. Low back throbbing. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness & tingling. Took 1/2 pill bp rx and pain rx.
Good news I think my stomach has calmed down. Water tastes good and isn’t upsetting it so far.
Brain singing “Oh I want some sleep wishing it in my head there Id be able to rest this weary body and my tired head then my symptoms might just calm down a piece cares all past hope at last if I’d get some sleep.” Lord, please make it so.
6:30a- think I doze off for 2 minutes then jerked awake thinking I overslept.
7:20 cancelled appointment for today. 🙁
8:30a- still awake. Unable toget comfortable. Pain in head and nerves still screaming. Decided to steep some chammomile tea to ease muscles. Lights bright even with screen brightness all way down and night owl activated. Seems like I’m hearing all the noises in neighborhood. Turned on box fan for white noise to hopefully drown out all other noises.
10a head not pounding but still have headache. Chilling burning sensation down spine. Bp 124/93 hr 74
3:53p Bp 125/93 hr 99 trying to get ready for church. Getting dressed wore me out. Laid down for 10 minutes. Legs cramping. Feel flushed. Still have headache. Rt hip hurts. Nerves tingling burning. Random muscle spams in legs.
9:00 Bp 133/88 hr 85 still have bad headache
11:07p- believe I have paperwork ready for hearing tomorrow. I’m so nervous. The idea of having to admit publicly to strangers regarding my physical limitations has been so humiliating.
All this added stress has exasperated my symtpoms. Its so draining having to try to remember everything it hurts my brain so so much. Time limits how long can you sit, stand, walk is so exhausting. Who takes the time to time how long you can do any of those things for periods of time anyways?
My whole body is throbbing. I’m crying bc I’m stressed out. Muscles randomly twitching thru body. Low back throbbing. Rt hip throbbing. Hands ache. Stomach aches. A. Flow showed up tonite. Neck throbbing. Feet freezing. At least Im no longer nauceous…just need to get bp back down. No matter the outcome God is in contol.
I need to destress and relax so I can sleep at least a little. Psalm 62:2; Lamentations 3:22-23, I Timothy 1:7
Psalms 18:3 – I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
Oct 17
6:00a- woke exhausted and hurting all over – bones, muscles, joints hurt. Have bad headache. Indigestion.
My hearing is today. I’m nervous but have put it in God’s hands.
Verse of day:
Psalms 25:14 – The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.
Song popped in mind…
♫Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart feel lonely And long for heavenly home When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He His eye is on the sparrow And I know he watches me
His eye is on the sparrow And I know He’s watching me
I sing because I’m happy I sing because I’m free For His eye, is on the sparrow
And I know He’s watching me♫
Sang that in my head all way to SS office.
8:30a- There’s a long line in front of SS buliding waiting for doors to open. I hope it’s not too long wait my back is throbbing and I need to sit and rest. Parking was free. PTL!
Had to sign in upstairs. Thankful for elevator bc I wouldn’t have been able to walk all those stairs! Person in front of me was giving officer hard time. He seems very kind. She had audacity in rude tones to tell him he had bad attitude. Whoah! Not using good manners.
He asked me how I was doing. Told him I was nervous. He assured me there was nothing to be nervous about and explained that it would be just me, my atty, judge in room. Nothing to be nervous about. It was calming somewhat. Chairs were very hard to sit in with all the pain was in. I kept fidgeting trying to get somewhat comfortable.
I was first on docket. Atty called us into separate room to discuss case. His demeanour was very disturbing to me. He came across smug to me. It was upsetting to me. Basically, since my doctor’s did not notate correctly their findings in my file and did not have proper testing done there was not enough evidence to prove my case. Frustrating!!! Lightning strike injuries are so not understood by the medical field. I wish someone would take interest to study it out.
The atty was talking way over my head. I used to know the lingo, but I’ve managed to forget it all. Why can’t I understand anymore?? I had to keep having him repeat himself. He gave me impression that he felt like my case was a waste of time. Why couldn’t he tell me before now? Why couldn’t suggest routes to take to help my case? The judge was kind enough to give me options before making final decision that would hurt me in long run. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry but I ended up crying the whole time. I really tried to suck it up but couldn’t.
It didn’t turn out the way I was hoping for, but at least it wasn’t a definite denial.
Now I’m back to searching for Dr that will work with me, believe me, get the proper testing done, and be affordable. This journey is definitely not for the faint of heart!
11a- back home again. I’m exhausted hurting and have pounding headache. Laid down on bed to rest.
11:30a- Joe sweet to make me fried egg sandwhich.
11:45a- got up to recline on heating pad in living room hoping it’ll ease back pain. The warmth feels good on my back.
1:00p- can’t keep my eyes open anymore. My head is pounding and I’m exhausted. Going to go take nap.
4:00p- wasn’t planning on sleeping that long. I’m still tired and hurting. If only I could ease the pain for just a while.
6:00p don’t feel like cooking. Decided to go get pizzas.
11:59p- pain is keeping me awake. Headache has eased but still there. Neck throbbing. Upper back icy stinging pain. Low back throbbing. Legs throbbing with random muscle pain. Left eyelid little droopy. Hands swollen and achy. Indigestion bad. Sipping on chammomile tea. Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness. Toes tingly. Arms ache. Rt ear aches.Basically pain from head to toe.
Oct 18
1a Joe wakes long enough to tell me I need to try to get some sleep. The pain so much it’s hard to sleep. Not sure what time I finally nod off.
4:30a pain wakes from a nightmare. Indigestion is still there but not as bad as before I fell asleep.
4:54a Indigestion burning sensation in esophagus. Chew 4 papaya.
6:50 Bp 123/74 hr 65 wt 195
Random muscle spasms/twitching mostly in legs. Gotta drop Dezirae off at school. She has volleyball tournament today. I sure wish I was able to go, but my body isn’t able to handle all that yet. I’ll be routing her on in my prayers from home.
11a- since my bp is down and my headache has eased decided to slice celery so I don’t lose it. Slicing celery made chest hurt horrible with beginning stabbing pain. Had to take ibuprofen to ease pain.
10:27p I have pain from head to toe! Bp 128/77 hr 72 Headache, neck throbbing, shoulders throbbing, back hurts, arms ache, hands swollen and achy, low back & rt hip throbbing, legs ache, feet ache, Indigestion, period pain aweful. Currently sitting on heating pad hoping it’ll ease lower back pain. Keeping close eye on bp this week. Muscles in legs spasming/twitching randomly. Tips of feet Butt are twitching randomly.
