LS Memoirs -Sept 12-14, 2021
Sept 12, 2021
630 slept hard. Woke exhausted and in great pain all over. Pain level an 8/9. Stinging burning throbbing pain from neck to toes. Headache moderate with sharp stabbing pain in top rt side. Strange dreams.
Song:♫ Precious and few are the moments we two can share♫ (don’t remember all the words).
Ezekiel 40-42, 2 Corinthians 8:18-21,
Some how I’m one day behind in my Bible reading. Not sure how but I’ll catch up.
Song ♫I Stand Redeemed♫
I stand redeemed by the blood of the lamb
I stand redeemed before the great I am
When he looks at me he sees the nailed scarred hands
That bought my liberty I stand redeemed
Took pain rx. Pain is easing. Brain still feels like it’s swimming and vision feels weird (like back of my eyes are covered with something but I can still see). Eyes easily feeling crossed.
When my brain and eyes get to feeling this way, it helps to close my eyes and empty my mind for several minutes. (It’s difficult for me to vision a black blank canvas in my mind because I’m always thinking about something.) Sometimes I even have to take my hands and cover my eyes. Some may think I’m sleeping while I do this but it keeps me from getting flustered and snappy and from falling.
At beginning of main service, I looked at first hymn at my mind went blank. I was looking at music but couldn’t remember how to play. It took few minutes to even remember the tune. Joe tried to be kind and say that we could sing it Acapella, but I knew I had to try. I said a quick prayer “God help”. It eventually came back and I was able to play.
My mind goes into a panic state when I can’t remember something I need or want to remember. If I allow it, it can cause a meltdown. Sometimes things are just so overwhelming and I do give in momentarily. Other times I know I need to overcome and persevere. When I get to either state, I just need patience and prayer to work through it.
Lunch didn’t cook in crockpot. Crockpot malfunctioned. No clue what happened. Had to back up and punt. Chose to use pressure cooker. When chicken and potatoes finished cooking. I put the chicken in toaster oven for 5 minutes to crisp the skin. Lunch tasted good.
I’m exhausted and ready to crash.
Need nap.
Maybe got 10 minutes nap. Kept getting woke up by noises. Stayed laying down for an hour to rest though.
Computer not coming on. Checked all plugs. Unplugged for few minutes and reattached everything. Still nothing. Computer acts as if it’s on but screen not coming on. I can’t deal with this today. Joe checks it out. Pushes button on monitor and screen comes on. Ugh! I feel stupid. I didn’t even know the screen had a power button.
Very easily agitated today not know why. Decisions people make agitate me when it goes opposite of what I was brought up. Nothing I can do about it, but pray.
Choir practice okay. Irritated with Joe because he seems to think I can play any hymn in the hymnal. I can play a lot of them, but not all of them. Need time to practice them before playing to be sung with people
Sept 13, 2021
525 Extremely tired. Whole body stiff and achy. Back itchy. Lights bothersome. Takes a while for eyes to adjust. Rt ear hurts. Sinuses starting to act up. I ate too much sugar y’day. Tongue hurts.
Ezekiel 43-45
Up to help Dezirae study for a test. Shared verse and prayed with her.
Can’t keep eyes open. Laying down to take nap.
900 force myself to get up. Change sheets on bed, hung church clothes, harvested some amaranth, burned papers, washed two loads of clothes
1230 Costochondritis trying to rear it’s ugly head. Center of chest hurting fierce. Need to take it easy again for a while.
Done for the day. Took 2 Tylenol.
Rested until time to pick up Dezirae from school. Will have her help me grocery shop.
By time done shopping, I’m really hurting. Have kids bring in groceries and put away. I need to rest a while.
500 not feeling well. Hot but cold. Dezirae says my skin is warm to touch. Jordon makes me cup of hot peppermint tea. Chest throbbing immensely thru to back. Rest is all I can do.
Glad I have simple meal planned for tonight. Dried Beef Gravy with toast & Spinach.
I didn’t make enough. Need to double next time. Don’t have any energy to make more.
630 abdomen start cramping and throbbing much. Low back hurts. Nerves stinging.
Sept 14, 2021
530 slept hard. Weird dreams. Arms numbish and slight tingly. Whole body stiff, achy, and stinging. Tired. Headache.
Ezekiel 46-48, Philippians 2:1-2; 4:19
Helped Dezirae study for History quiz.
Make tea, wash load clothes, start gathering recycling, picking up little bit, wash few dishes. I’m exhausted and low back throbbing intensely. Head hurts. Need to rest a while. I’m hot.
Song: ♫In the sweet by & by♫
Able to clean half the shower area. Chest aching. Must stop.
Dehydrating orange and apple slices. Dinner in crockpot. Wash and fold load of clothes. Exhausted and really hurting. Resting again.
130 took recyclables to recycling center. An employee was complaining about a person putting the wrong items in the wrong bin. He kept repeating himself multiple times and was loud about it. It irritated me so much that my whole body started shaking and I can feel my nerves cramping up. Mustard up enough courage to tell him, “You’ve got your point across now how about you find something positive to say.” It shocked him so much that he shut up and went back into the building for a while.
My whole body is throbbing. Trouble getting comfortable. Lots of rain headed our way
