Happy October!!! I can’t believe Fall is here already. I love this time of year!
This week’s devo is “Where Do I Belong” written by Susie Montgomery! Please take the time to read as she shares her heart with us, and the troubles she had in the past with feeling like she just didn’t fit in as a Pastor’s Wife! I love this devo!
I hope that you have the best week ever!!!
Where Do I Belong – Susie Montgomery
For the last 21 years I have been married to a pastor. Through those years I have felt like I just don’t belong to the “pastor’s wives group”. I don’t perceive myself to be calm, sweet, or full of wisdom like I picture a pastor’s wife to be. Actually, I think I’m more energetic, opinionated and full of laughter. I know, not qualities that you expect from a pastor’s wife. I struggled with a feeling of belonging causing me to act and be someone who I am not. I suppressed my feeling of light-heartedness and tried not to laugh. “Be serious” I would tell myself. “People don’t want a silly pastor’s wife.”
Those years were sad for me. I didn’t laugh and have fun like the person I was created to be. Instead, I looked stern and tried to always have something important to say. I wore business-like clothes to church and volunteered as much as I could to not connect with people on a personal level. If they knew who I really was they wouldn’t like me, or worse, they would look for another pastor or church.
Through the years our great God has shepherded me to understand who He is and have an abiding love for His Word. I’d like to give you a little glimpse into that growing process and finding a true sense of belonging.
Belonging, defined by Brene’ Brown, is “Being part of something bigger than yourself. Because this yearning is so primal we often try to acquire it by fitting in and seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, byt often barriers to it.”
Our focus will be on Belonging to God and His family. But first, I have a bit of an “ugly Duckling” story. When I was in high school I overheard a boy named, get this, Balarama Warner- they called him Balls, call me the ugliest girl in school. Of course, I was devastated, but also thought “that was probably true”. Years passed, I went away to school, and came home for the summers to work. Guess who came to the store I was working at? Yep! Balls. He would flirt with me from time to time, until one day he finally asked me out. I relished this moment! I said, “You don’t remember me do you?” When I told him who I was, he had the audacity to say, “so, does this mean you won’t go out with me?” HA! That was a defining moment in my life. The boy, who called me ugly, was now wishing he hadn’t.
That story turned out ok, but those years I spent in high school thinking and believing I didn’t belong were painful. I hid in the bathroom stalls during lunch so that I wouldn’t have those hurtful experiences again. It is hard to see the creation, which God called “very good”, being good to that high school girl. In Genesis 3:8-24 we understand that the original sin of Adam and Eve brought a curse of God’s good creation.
Sin Causes: us to hide ourselves, separation from loved ones, pain, and death. When we sin, we hide. We’re so afraid that there may be something about me that, if people found out about it, I wouldn’t be worthy of connection. It is much easier to just hide. We hide behind pretending to be smart. We hide behind being busy. We hide behind trying to be super sweet. We hide!
Adam’s offence, in Genesis 3, leads to judgment, which leads to condemnation. We are ashamed! Christ’s act of righteousness brought a free gift, which leads to justification of life. Grace is God’s gift to undeserving sinners because of Christ’s act of righteousness.
While studying about belonging I came across several articles and talks by Brene’ Brown. She said this, “The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging are the people who believe they are worthy of love and belonging.” This sounds good. Right? Do you see where this conflicts with Scripture? My friends, We ARE unworthy! There is nothing good in us. God is completely justified in condemning us to an eternity in Hell.
Romans 8:1 can help us form a more scriptural approach to belonging. “There is therefore now on condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” Could we rephrase the previous quote by Brown to say this, The people who have a strong sense of belonging, are the people who realize the price that was paid for them to belong! Christ’s act of righteousness brings true belonging. True belonging is being fully known and fully loved! There is only One who fully knows us, and we can be so thankful today that He also fully loves us! He demonstrated that love for us on the cross! His act of righteousness brought the free gift of a justified life.
No more do we live in condemnation! No more do we need to search for belonging! Those who are in Christ belong! Now that I belong to Christ, I bring the sense of belonging with me everywhere I go! No more hiding in bathroom stalls, no more hiding behind a fake me! I belong, and I want everyone else to have this same “belonging”. In 1942 Clayton Ellsworthwrote these words “ Now I belong to Jesus, Jesus belongs to me. Not for the years of time alone, but for eternity”! Let us go bring others to God and His family!
