Sept 3
4:30a- still took me while to fall asleep at least until pain rx calmed some of intense pain. Woke at 4:30 feeling like my heart was racing, but it wasn’t. Still in lot of pain but not as bad as last night. Pain level maybe a 6.
6:30a- took Joe to work – my car down – body can tell I haven’t driven a standard in while…muscles in legs cramping/twitching especially lft leg, low back & rt hip throbbing
Anxiety kicks in on higway. So trying not to scream or jump when another car gets too close for comfort or car merging onto highway makes me wonder if they’re going to yield. I know in my brain that… God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2Timothy 1.7); but it’s like that part of my brain was injured and the anxiety rears it’s ugly head no matter what. I get enough criticism and I can beat myself up over it as well, but none of the negativity is going to help me overcome. It’s like my brain and body go into automatic fight or flight mode whether I want them too or not. Loud noises even set me off sometimes. How does one overcome ptsd? Simply by acknowledging the issues and taking it one day at a time. A few things that are helping me are: deep breathing, quoting scripture, grounding (be aware of your surroundings using my senses – taste, touch, sight, smell, & sound).
https://www.verywellmind.com/grounding-techniques-for-ptsd-2797300
Ears ringing, congested, rt shoulder/back icy hot throbbing, hands swollen, achy, & tingly, lft ear hurts, chest hurting,
8:24a- started to do morning pt exercises but fell back to sleep. Feel like I could sleep longer I’m so tired.
MSM is definitely helping with my allergies. I’m still a little stuffy, but not as congested as I was couple weeks ago. Trouble with eye exercises this morning. Eyes didn’t want to cooperate and trouble with counting. Did complete them. Now have headache.
9:00a- Decided this year for scripture memory for school this year to do it through teaching them scripture songs. Started with a fun one.
Proverbs 17:22 – A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Interesting how my memory is so messed up since lightning strike, but most of the scriptures I memorized have stayed with me especially those I leraned to music.
10:50a- Jordon just got stung on back of heel walking back into house. Have baking soda paste on it right now. Had to calm him down & tell him to breath. Ugh!
11:00a- Jordon noticed bee flying inside window in front of house. Do you know how hard it is to remain calm so your kids will stay calm when inside you want to spazz out!?! Dezirae gave me some hairspray. I managed to spray it but missed first time. Sprayed second time on spot. Once I knew I got it, I used vacuum cleaner on that sucker.
11:46a- had to scrub filter for water purifier. My whole body aches, nerves screaming & lightly stinging throughout body. I’m exhausted. Need a calgon moment to calm my nerves. Too much drama in one day for me my nerves to handle. Still have volleyball game. People just don’t know/understand how much of a challenge that is still for me. My rear end is still bruised from bleachers of game last Friday. I’ll bring my earplugs for sure.
4:00p- left for vball game. Pit stop at bank. Need cash for entrance. Made it safe and on time.
11:24p- double header went until 8:30. Half way thru couldn’t stand sitting in bleachers nor pain in chest…sat along wall to support back. We lost but they put up a good fight towards end.
ASL class ready for tomorrow. Stressing because of unknowns. Number in class? Will they enjoy what I prepared? Will I stutter or mess up what I’m going to say?
I did tonight while at game. Trying to tell my husband something I was thinking of but it wouldn’t come out. Had to pause to slow brain down and said, “Just minute, I need my thoughts to catch up to my brain.” Lol!
No! I need to take time to breath (deep breaths). Relax myself as best as possible. Ask God to help me do my best and let Him handle the rest.
Debating doing pm exercices. I’m exhausted and really hurting. Music will soothe me.
Pain in center of chest extenuating (not sure what word is suppose to be presently) thru to back, low back throbbing, lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with numbness up to just below knee cap, headache, rt ear hurts, skin itching, joints hurt to bones, toes tingly, brain jumbled, neck hurts more on rt side than lft.
Need to pick up Rx’s tomorrow at pharmacy. Feeling shaky. Head pounding. Rt hip now hurting.
Sept 4
4:30a- fell asleep sometime after 1am. Excruciating pain in center of chest!!!! Yesterday was too much for me. Headache. I just want to cry . Have to take Joe to work again bc my car still down. Lord’s gonna have to get me thru today.
6:30a- laying back down for little bit with ice pack on chest. Hopefully that’ll help ease pain some.
Muscles randomly throughout body, lower left leg numbish and tourniquit tighten feeling, headache
7:12a- whole body aches, ice seems to have taken edge off stabbing pain
11:36a- thankful I only teach one class this year. It’s small. Helper in 2nd class. Free last hour. I’m wiped and nerves are all jittery.
2nd hour we helped kids make haystacks. Chow mein noodles, 1 pkg of chocolate chips, 1 pkg butterscotch chips). Hands arms have chocolate on them by time we we’re down.
2:00p- had to stop at store to pick up few items. Muscles/nerves in arms, back, and legs screaming. Feel like I’m fading. Set security alarm off walking into the store. Don’t know how or why. Odd. No wheelchairs available. Walked behind buggy slowly. Had kids split up to get items. Dezirae stayed close by to keep eye on me.
Feel like I’m gonna crash. Chest hurting more again. Hard time staying awake. Asked God to help get me home safely. He did. Kids put grocerirs away and cooking lunch. I crashing on couch as I type.
Muscles spasming thru body. Exhausted. Chest center throbbing.
Moved to adjust on lounge severe stomach cramp kept me from moving at all for several minutes. Ice pack helped ease chest pain back down. I feel plain aweful. Lightheaded and dizzy. May have to call Dr.
Feels like my body is one big muscle cramp. I’m suppose to be getting better not worse.
6:30p- crashed around 4:40ish. Joe woke me to feed me dinner in bed. Still feeling lethargic but not as wiped before crash. Muscles still quite jittery. Chest center starting to ache again. Trouble holding phone.
10:30p- took muscle relaxer to calm nerves around 7:30p still awake. Muscles not twitching as bad.
Lower lft leg tourniquit tighten feeling with some numbness, rt leg some numbness and tingling, back throbbin, lf t arm throbbing, nerves are stinging
