Feb 7
700 tired. Hurting from head to toe and sore all over. Sinuses congested.
Able to curl hair with curling iron – got half way before my arms started fatiguing out.
Twas able to push through to curl whole head all by myself today. Every progress counts! Keep moving forward. Thank you, Lord!!!
845- spiritual warfare ensues – Jordon’s car overheating and needs rescuing. Several people either late or sick and not coming. Forgot the ingredients for dressing.
200p decided to text oldest son to see how things were going with decisions. Degree/Wedding date/ etc. Trying to wrap my head around things in my mind what’s going on. Conversation not going well. Decided to ask Joe to help mediate. Explained what was going on. He ended up calling son. Had to explain that even though we’ve already had this conversation I had forgotten and was just trying to see how things were going bc I felt like I was out of loop. Tears escape my eyes.
It makes for frustration on all sides. They get tired of repeating things multiple times. I try so hard to remember things but just don’t. Even when I write things down I’ll lose or misplace where I wrote it.
It’s a new normal that gets most frustrating at times. Need to rest my brain. I chose to listen to wholetones music to calm my mind while I rest. Also, take deep breaths. It helps. I just wish I could find someone willing to sit and explain why is my short term memory so affected? Is there something I can do to help overcome? Is there something I can do or take to heal from this or even improve in this area? Sometimes I feel like I’m declining cognitively and in turn, it makes me sad and scared.
I know all things work together for the good (Romans 8:28). I know God will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I am thankful for the Scriptures I have memorized as a youngin for He bringeth the specific Scripture to mind when I need comforting (John 14:26).
500 counsel session went well. I forgot what questions I wanted to ask. Need to check my notes.
545 looked in mirror. My left eye looks like it was punched but I wasn’t.
620 headache hurts. Closed eyes resting brain and ask God to help me with offertory. He helped.
I’m freezing. Feet ice cold. Took night meds plus Excedrine migraine.
Feb 8
515 slept pretty good once I fell asleep. Strange dreams. Feet warmed back up. I wrapped them in my personal blanket under the covers.
Whole body sore and achy. Feet feel like I’m standing on broken charts of glass as I stand.
Read Numbers 1-2; Psalm 18:19
Have to take Joe & Jordon to work today. Jordon’s car in shop.
Feeding evangelist and his wife dinner tonight. I have no clue what I’m cooking nor how I’m going accomplish it with all the running I’m to do today.
Found out preacher friend died today.
800 talked with evangelist after service tonight. Remembered one of my questions though I’m not certain it came out as I intended.
Explained that I have difficulty expressing what I am thinking at times and/or I do not comprehend what is being said. It takes all my energy to focus on person and what they’re saying yet sometimes it doesn’t register or compute in brain.
How do express I’m having difficulty without burdening others with my struggles?
That probably happens more when I’m stressed or fatigued. I agreed. Then when that happens excuse yourself and gently inform or remind them that I was struck by lightning and I’m experiencing some of the sides effects from that and ask them to either repeat what they said or reword so I can better understand.
This led to another question. I know God is not the author of confusion or fear, but the LS has caused lots of anxiety on several different levels. When the anxiety arises I quote Scripture to myself but the anxiety is still there. How do I resolve that? Ie: when riding in the car, my mind perceives that the cars on the road are not in their lanes properly and are heading for us which causes me to get panicky and holler. Joe then tells me to be quiet or stop.
Need to assure myself that Joe is stronger in that area right now and allow myself to trust his judgment. Maybe even develop our own kind of language to help work through it.
Why is it that I struggle more when I’m tired or stressed to get my brain, eyes, & hands to coordinate while playing piano? It’s so frustrating. Muscle memory. Need to exercise it more.
900 sudden bad headache on way home. Muscles randomly spasming. Low back throbbing.
1030 thunderstorm rolling through. Whole body is tensing up. Drinking sleep time tea to help.
