June 4
Isaiah 51:11
Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and mourning shall flee away.
5am- rt hip throbbing and muscle spasming in lower back woke me up
Able to fall back asleep
9:47a- BP 128/87 I’m not sure today’s Dr apt went too well. Dr seemed to have mind made up before entering room. I think my folder is flagged. I didn’t say anything about last apt. Had Dezirae record apt so Joe can hear what he said.
He has same approach other Dr did…wait and gradually get better. Did say he wants to treat one symptom at a time. Won’t write script for physical therapy doesn’t think I need it. He focused on the anxiety issue and wanted to push more medicines. Thinks I need anxiety medicine & counseling for PTSD. Told him I didn’t want anxiety rx. Wrote me 2 new Rx’s. In tears by end of apt. I tried getting him to explain and repeat things but he seemed to get frustrated with me. I will definitely be looking for different route. The check out nurse confirmed that my file has been flagged about bad experience with previous doctor. She hoped today’s visit went better. Told her I wasn’t sure but would have to take time to process what was said first. I was frustrated but I’m not defeated.
I think I’m doing good combating the anxiety. I don’t want to see secular counsellor.
11:09p – went to preacher’s mtg in Gulfport, MS. Enjoyed services and got fed dinner too. Pastor Crane sent leftover BBQ pork home with us. PtL!
I’m exhausted and hurting. Muscles are spasming (they have been spasming a lot more lately). Lord, please direct my steps to the right Dr for me. Amen
June 5
7:30 – woke up from nightmare. I seem to have them more when I take muscle relaxers. Don’t like it. Need something else. Hence, reason so adamant about not taking anti-depressed drugs. If muscle relaxer does this, how messed up will they make me?
Whole body aches waking up. Neck hurts. Chilling sensation at base of neck to middle of back. Feet hurt.
12:36p- I messed up. Showed up to my PT apt 1 hour late!! Ugh!! Blair was gracious and worked with me still. Had me fill out questionnaire regarding my chronic pain. She showed me some exercises to help train my body to release the extra tension and one exercise with mutilpe benefits – half squat to chair (strength, endurance, motor control, & balance).
